When I was younger (I'm almost 21 now), my father used to abuse my younger brother, verbally and physically. Though he never really did this to me (cause I kept my mouth shut) I used to witness what he did to my brother. I still remember words and have memories. The strange thing is it never really bothered me as a teenager, but now for some reason it feels like it's all coming back. I have a hard time sleeping because the memories come back into my head, and it really upsets me. The abuse doesn't happen anymore as we're adults... but it makes me angry when I think about it, like "why didn't I do something??" even though I was only like 9 years old. Could this be like Post-traumatic stress disorder?
And also, I find myself more attracted (sexually) to women than men. I just feel more comfortable around women. Could my dad's anger problem combined with the fact my Dad wasn't much when I was much younger because he was a truck driver have anything to do with this?
2006-12-18 19:20:11 · 9 answers · asked by Alicia 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Too bad you are having these flash backs. Have you talked with your brother? Might be good for you to take your brother to lunch and tell him how you feel. Maybe you two could both go get some help together. You said something about feeling guilty. You were just a kid. Parents are big people. Hard to defend yourself or anyone else against a big mad man. I can see why you might not feel comfortable with men because you are relating to them with this memory. Don't make any decisions about your sexuality until you deal with your emotional issues. You will only confuse yourself more. Everything will be alright.
Good Luck to you and you Brother.
2006-12-18 20:00:39 · answer #1 · answered by skooter 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't suppress them they will come out in some way or another. I was abused as a kid, I had a really crappy childhood...You need to look at these things in a positive light (I know its hard to do and easier said than done) Everything you have been through has made you a stronger person and made you who you are today. Put the energy you are putting into your sorrow into something good...for example, the way I fought back....when I was hit or mistreated as a kid I told myself I would NEVER treat my kids like that and I will be the best mom there is.....I fought back by breaking the cycle, adopting a little girl and raising my 2 children with my heart and soul to the best of my ability. I can say that I no longer get sad when I think about my childhood because i took my situation and raised my children opposite how I was raised and made a fantastic life for two little people. If you let yourself drowned in your sorrows thats exactly what you will do...they are abusing you even after the abuse stopped....YOU NEED TO WIN....YOU WANT TO WIN dont give them one more tear! Pick your chin up and be proactive.
2016-05-23 06:36:20 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Aww Im Sorry to hear that.Its normal for it all to be coming back.Usually the past does come back to haunt you in most situations.You have to deal with this and not break down.Its not your fault, it was nothing you could have done.You were only 9 years old in fear of what he might have done to you! Its normal to feel guilty but you cant drag the guilt along with you because it will give you a serious depression.Just be thankful you guys grew up and you're no longer in that bad situation.Move forward with your life.Also TALK TO SOMEBODY CLOSE AROUND YOU.Let them know how you feeling.Counseling could help also, if you'd like to take that step. It could be that you feel more comfortable around women because of how your dad was, but it could also be that thats just how you are! I wish you the best of luck Sweety...and please dont blame yourself.If there was something you could have done, you would have done it. :) You Need to overcome this obstacle thats in your way.Happy Holidays.
2006-12-18 19:29:00 · answer #3 · answered by ♥ Loving My Babyboy ;) ♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
possibly, and possibly. It also might be that that's just how you are, that you don't feel as attracted to men as to women, regardless of what happened. What you need to do though, is tell the police, because who knows if your dad is still out there beating people up. That's just not right that that happened. I suggest going to see a doctor or someone who's familiar with what you're going through, see if they can help you. Good luck!
2006-12-18 19:24:12 · answer #4 · answered by High On Life 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are 2 different problems.......how is the current relationship between your Father and Brother................I guess it's not cordial at all may be they don't share a healthy Father - Son and vice-versa relationship.
You have a greater responsibility than when you were at 9yrs. Try to bridge the gap between them.......build Love, Trust and mutual repect and in the process the 2nd problem will vanish into thin air.
2006-12-18 19:56:09 · answer #5 · answered by lincoln a 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must forgive him in your heart and in your mind. No one is perfect. That sounds like a cop out but it is the only way. Love people for who they are and they will love you for who you are.
Choose to Love not to hate. Be one with the Universe. Let the energys of all things fill your being. Clear your mind of negativities. Keep only the positives.
Good luck and Merry Christmas!
2006-12-18 19:28:14 · answer #6 · answered by Tiger Crane Master 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry to hear (read) that...
you have to plant this on your head : "not every man is like your father"... then try to find more good n nice male friends... and you really have to go to the psychiatrist
2006-12-18 20:01:31 · answer #7 · answered by me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry.
I dont think you are attracted to women, but just way more comfortable around them as you mentioned. Try getting some guy friends, (pick one up at church, they are very nice there).
2006-12-18 19:26:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
See a psychiatrist and talk about it with him or her. Good luck
2006-12-18 19:23:09 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋