Is it ok to want to move in with my dad?

Question

ok well i live with my mom and her hisband[my stepdad ron] and my mom puts me thru so much...ok well a few years back she went 2 rehab bc she was a drug addict and an alchoholic.she was off everything 4 like 3 yrs. and now shes back into drinking a lot...well not a LOT but enuff 2 start 2 ruin my life...but wait theres more...and in Easter she went into the hospital bc she took 25 painkillers 2 kill herself...shes been ruining my life ever since just by putting me thru so much...i wanna move in with my dad so badd bc he will give me privacy, a new life, public school[im homeschooled and hate it] a lot of better things...i dont wanan hurt my mom but i would rather do that then stay here...wat the heck do i do?

Answer 1

No, its not wrong to want to move in with your dad. Your mom has her own issues, and right now it sounds like her issues are getting in the way of being able to care for you. Explain to your mom that you love her and you want her to get help, but she needs to do what is in your best interest, and that seems like it would be to stay with your dad. Good luck sweetie and I'll be praying for your mom's recovery.

Answer 2

First of all, your mom is going through her own hell. It's very hard to quit an addiction. She obviously needs some help and support. Is your step dad any kind of support for her? On the other hand, if you are getting home schooled and she is not capable of giving you a good education, maybe you should move in with your dad. If you are more than 13 years old you may be able to tell the judge who you want to live with. Or you can have your dad talk to her and come to a compromise. Remember though, you mom needs your support and you need to move delicately with her bcs she may have a re lap with trying to commit suicide. Tell her you love her and just want the best for her but you want a normal life with your dad. But be very careful in the way you say it.

Answer 3

I think you should move in with your Dad! It gives you a more stable environment, without added stresses. It also means that you can possibly re-build your relationship with your mother on a more casual basis. I believe your mother may be a little upset initially, but as a mother she should be looking out for your best interests. She will come around!! People who do drugs and alcohol are selfish souls, and don't really think about those around them. You have to sometimes do whats best for you in this life, even if it does mean hurting someone you love. Things will eventually work out, but at least you will be in a happy environment and more able to help! Good luck and take care.

Answer 4

your mom needs help asap because she is ruining both your lives to say the least and this could have a permanent damage on you. does your dad know about this?? how come after all of this has happened, he hasn't stepped in to get you?? he should be the one to take care of you (most especially if you are a minor) and responsible for your welfare. after all, your mom is not doing such a good job at it! anyway, if ever you need some help, why don't you go to local authorities like social welfare that can help you find a more suitable home just in case your dad won't take you in. take action now before it's too late. i am sorry that life has to be this bad for you. stay strong and don't forget to pray. God has some weird ways to teach us lessons, no matter how ridiculous it is. there are reasons to why we face all the troubles you face today. someday you will look back and just find this funny. be strong and be safe. take care and Godbless!!

Answer 5

What we have to remember is that, OK we are all someone's child, but however much they try to tell us what to do and do for us as what they see as being the best for us, There comes a point where it just has to stop. By taking firm control over your life and making decisions that are going to benefit you in your education, self esteem and will possibly even give you a chance of a happier adulthood, then why not? Your mum has to realise that althogh she is going through alot her actions will always bare serious consequences on her children and will effect how the grow up and treat life themselves. You can't possibly do anything to help your mum, she needs help of medical staff and possibly counselling for a long time to begin a fresh start and get on top of things. Though your mum may find it hard to adjust once you leave, just remember, your gonna do what it takes to give you life in adulthood that your mum really wants you to have. Chin up love, stay strong, and succeed! Thinking of you, try to put things aside for the festive holidays and try to enjoy christmas, and see the new year in with a new, fresh start.

Answer 6

I'm wondering why your dad hasn't already stepped up to take you away from that situation. Addiction and a suicide attempt? If your father doesn't feel like he's able to take care of you than that, I really have to wonder.

But, if you think that actually would be a good situation for you, start by talking to your dad. Make sure he's on board with the arrangements, and ideally get him to help you talk to her. I think you want to tell her that with the difficulties she's going through, you don't feel like she's able to take care of both you and herself right now. Because it's really important to you that she take care of herself, you think it would be better if you lived with your father for a while. Emphasize that you will still spend time with her and nourish your relationship, but right now the best way to do that is under more controlled circumstances.

Answer 7

Sounds like your mum is ruining her life as well. She should get help, and maybe you should be try to encourage her to get help, instead of focusing on your own life. I know it's hard, but it should be attempted. What about your stepdad? Does he just let her do these horrible things to herself? Why doesn't he intervene? Sounds like you are still under your mum's custody for a reason, and it's a tough lesson that you need to go through, so you could be able to not only help yourself, but your mum as well. Trust me on this one.

It'll take a lot of patience and compassion to get through your situation. Sounds like your desire to move is just a temporary bandaid to the solution. Plus, if you moved, then if your mum passed away, how would you feel and cope with the loss? Interesting questions you should be asking yourself. I don't if you understand the advise I'm giving you, but try to see the bigger picture. Your mum is need of help. She is still here for a reason, and you are still under her roof for a reason as well.

I am 31 years old, and lost my mum at the age of 3. I will never know what having a relationship w/ my real mum will be, because she died when I was so young. So, cherish what you got and help your mum, in a way you can get through this.

Answer 8

I think that you should move in with your dad. I'm sure that once your mum sorts herself out she will understand that its for the best. Your dad will give you the stable life that you need right now and being in that sort of environment with your mum isn't good for you.

I understand that you don't want to hurt your mum but in the long run you are doing the best thing

Answer 9

you should not be going through this at such a young age...you need your mum, but if she is putting you through this then yes go live with your dad, if he can provide a better life for you then leave, education is very important and you need to be around kids of your own age instead of staying at home, i know that you love your mum but you cannot stay there, once you settle into your dads, you can still go and visit your mum any time, don't completely cut yourself off from her, she has problems and needs help, i hope she gets the help she needs and i hope you do too.....good luck....x

Answer 10

If you would have a better life with your Dad, and it sounds like you would, then I would move in and live with him if I was you. It doesn't mean your turning your back on your Mum, you can still see her as often as you can, and phone, but it sounds like living with your mum is really messing you up and you need some stability. Good luck lol