Please help! Advice! Is it wrong to sleep with my girlfriend's friend even though I'm a very devout Christian?

Question

Recently my girllfriend and I are going through a rough patch. We have decided to cool it off a little bit because we have very different religious views. I'm Christian and she's a non-believer.
I have always gotten along with her friend as we both go to church together. There have always been this very extreme sexual tension between us and we both gave in to it.

The problem is that the sex is tremendously carnal and animalistic but I still like my girlfriend. Should I tell my girlfriend and how do I do it without coming off like a hypocrite as I am very devout and pure and don't want to lie.

Thanks for all the support. I think I have a problem with sex.

Answer 1

well first off, you're not so pure after doing that. secondly, most guys wouldn't even consider telling the girl if he wasn't a Christian.

now... with that said, there's no real way to tell her without sounding like a hypocrite (since your actions have been quite hypocritical). mostly because non-Christians seem to love seeing Christians fail and tend to not be forgiving in these types of situations. God will forgive you sure, but don't expect the world to be so forgiving. i wouldn't expect she'd like to hear that her "Christian" ex bf had sex with her best friend. as i said before, most non-Christians would frown upon that.

and another thing... have you never heard of be ye not unequally yoked believer with un-believer??? despite what some people try and twist that to mean, it has nothing to do with race or anything else, but believers with un-believers. so my suggestion is that you get away from your gf and her friend to avoid temptation. after all, the Lord's prayer says "lead us not into temptation" so why should you go running into it full force??? i realize that you probably can't just pack up and move to another state, but you can distance yourself from them in a positive way. tell them you need to get your life straight with God and the temptation when you're around them is too strong. (this doesn't mean you can't talk to them, but just that you should not spend much time with them at all... and never alone... always with a group of people around)... oh and btw never think that you can control any situation that you're in because when you think you can't be harmed by the devil tricks, that's when he gets you the easiest.

further suggestions include an enhanced prayer and reading life. maybe if you spend more time with God and less time "doing" other things, you'll be better off. actually not maybe... but if and when you enhance your prayer and reading, you'll find that with God helping you to resist temptation, you'll be better off.

Answer 2

Ah, c'mon now, you know the answers here.

1) Even though you "like" your girlfriend, you already can see that such strong and different religious beliefs doom the relationship.
2) Sex that is carnal and animalistic is pretty much part of what sex is. In addition, clearly you are drawn to the "friend" in ways that are other than sexual. Mutual affection and shared values are very important in the long run.
3) Should you tell your girlfriend? I don't know!!! But please -- GET REAL!
Both of you betrayed her. I can assure you there is NO WAY that you can do this without "coming on" (at the very least) as a hypocrite. You are already lying to yourself bigtime. Granted you are devout, but, for heaven's sake, you are NOT "pure"!

Time for you to learn that there are no "do-overs" in life. You did something you regret because you feel that it was wrong. Period. You need to come to terms with the FACT that you are NOT perfect. When you do something wrong, you follow your conscience. You already know who needs to forgive you. I thought that all of us Christians believe in sin and redemption...

Answer 3

First off, how can you be in a relationship with a non-believer and you are a Christian. That is a sure sign right there at the beginning that the relationship was not going to work. You knew that there was going to be conflict any way it go.
Secondly, you are soo soo very wrong for that. Not only because you slept with another woman but becasue you slept with her friend. That is so again the rules of friendship. But you are not the only one at faught, the friend knew that yall were together, break or not, yall were still together. She should have backed off herself as well as you should have also. It should have never happened at all. For you both to go to church and be DEVOUT CHRISTIANS, how can you explain what happened without being looked at as a hypocrite. The first thing that your gilrfriend is going to say is something about God and criticize him for something that YOU & THE FRIEND did. You were wrong for doing it and I doubt that talking to her will even help but make things worse becasue of having to not only deal with you she have to deal with her friend too. It might not have been as bad if it was some1 she didnt know.
If my boyfriend cheated on me with an ex-girlfriend, a friend or someone that I knew period, it would hurt like hell and I wouldnt know what to do but it wouldnt be as hurtful if it was with someone I didnt know and trust and saw everyday knowing that it had been going on the whole time and I didnt see it.

Answer 4

beign a devout christian isn't a license to cheat but being a devout christian doesn't mean that you shouldn't have as vigorous a sex life as you like.

If you were really traditionalist, you should be looking to marry your girl because if you're not looking to marry her then by The Book you're committing a sin. yes, in our day and age it sounds riddiculous

But coveting someone else's woman, and committing adultery are both just that, it doesn't matter when you do it, if you sleep with someone other than your wife, the bible says that's adultery. It mentions nothing about 'what if you're not married'

i don't hold that view ithink you should enjoy as robust a sex life as you need, it helps you develop into a balanced human being and allows you to think of other things once carnal needs have been satisfied.

I think you should talk to her, but I have no idea what you want to achieve with that conversation. Is she bound to find out? What do you want to achieve by talking to her? Is whatever it is a realistic goal to aim for in conversation?

Answer 5

Eeek. Okay, before you tell your girlfriend, you need to talk to the friend first. For guys it's not that big of a deal, but according to girl code, what she did is a big no-no. She may not be ready to come clean or she may really want to do it herself. Furthermore, cheating in relationships sets you up for cheating when you're married. Also, I have found that being a believer makes it almost impossible to be with a non-believer. That's just a whole part of your life that your girl isn't going to understand. You really need to think: Could it be maybe you and this other girl might be more compatible?

Answer 6

HAA!!! Pure? I think not, sir. What ever happened to the whole waiting for marriage thing? I'm a non-believer myself and I would NEVER sleep with anyone other than my boyfriend if I were in a relationship. It has nothing to do with religion....it's just common morals.

And about telling her... it's great to be honest...and she should know how great of a boyfriend you are *cough cough* but you'll most definitely lose her. Personally, I think she should leave you. So I'm game for you telling her.

I think you need to rethink yourself and your standing as a "devout" christian too...

Answer 7

properly he's having an extremely tough time i will tell, he needless to say loves you and it takes an extremely reliable guy to forgive somebody for dishonest. Please understand the place he's coming from and supply him the time he desires. tutor him which you will no longer do something with absolutely everyone else anymore. tutor him you nonetheless care and that he's all which you think of approximately. that's a huge step that he's making an attempt to forgive you in his very own way. do no longer turn off the telephone in case you prefer him again back around, basically proceed to furnish diffused tricks, do no longer play around with people or consult with them. basically focus on the reliable situations. i've got faith he will come back around at last in case you tutor to him which you comprehend you tousled and you're quite sorry. =)

Answer 8

First of all, if you were such a CHRISTIAN you would'nt have sex out of wedlock. Second of all, if you had sex with her friend then you need to break up with your gf. The reason is because she deserves someone that is better than you. She deserves someone who will respect her and who will mean what the say and not be a hypocrite. If you really like her then let her go because obviously you will cause her nothing but pain.

Answer 9

Honestly, I think you're in a bad situation. It's best to wait for the right person to come along, and then have a serious relationship and get married, and THEN sleep together. Cus when you sleep together before that, it creates a commitment, like in one movie, Vanilla Sky, one of the main girl characters says "When you have sex with someone, your body makes a promise, whether you do or not." And it's true - wait til you have someone you're Sure that you're going to spend the rest of your life with. And in this case, I don't think that it will work out between you and her - your goal in life and her goal in life is completely different, and in fact, opposite, and that tention will ruin a marriage.

Answer 10

geeeez, sounds like you got youself in as real pickle, with God and your girlfriend. Dont lie about it. Tell her and explain why you did it. Dont be suprised if you get a huge wack in the face. Not only did you cheat on your girlfriend but you had sex before marrage. im sorry dude.... there doesn't seem to be an easy way around this!