I have been with my boyfriend for 1 year. He and his ex-girlfriend were together for 18 years but have been broke up for 6 years. She is still a big part of his life. He told me that it is something I must deal with...and I have been trying my best. But now he tells me that he has decided to spend this X-Mas eve with her and her family without me. It really hurts me that he puts her before me...especially since he knows that I have NO Family whatsoever. What should I do???
2006-12-18 15:37:24 · 37 answers · asked by Strong_Will 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
My boyfriend of 1 year was with his ex for 18 years...but apart now for 6 years. They were never married nor did they ever have children. He tells me that his ex and her family is still a big part of his life...and that he is going to spend a few hours with them on Christmas Eve...and I am not invited.
2006-12-21 15:25:17 · update #1
Get rid of him! It sounds to me like they have something going on. There are two things that concern me here: 1) he was with her for 18 years and they have been broken up for 6. It doesn't sound like they have broken up to me. 2) he is spending x-mas eve with her and her family. What is up with that? First of all that is not normal. Second of all if he cares anything about you he would not be putting his supposed to be "ex-girlfriends" feelings before yours. You can do better than that. Find you somebody that can respect you and be with you and only you.
2006-12-18 15:41:50 · answer #1 · answered by Hoping he will bless me with #1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him. Let him know how you feel. Ask if you could go along, because to you right now he's all the family you've got. I'm sure he'll take you along and you'll be able to spend christmas with him. That's the most important thing, to be togather on christmas. Also, I would advise you to start befriending the ex, she's obviously a big part of your boyfriends life even after 6 years of not being togather.
2006-12-18 15:41:14 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
?--what to do about that? this might seem a little drastic, but you need to consider this! "you count also! if this someone can share a life with you, and give up a day that special,for someone else, reguardless of your feelings, then when he returns, he needs to find his belongings, in the yard, or on the street, with a note attached; have fun in your new life,it's over! don't bother to try the key, it no longer fits. and as you fade away into my past,it's simple. you spent christmas at the wrong house.and if you have bought him a gift, return it, or find some needy person and give them the gift.it will make someone happy, and that someone just might be you. if his feelings are no stronger for you than that, you're better off by yourself.,this might seem heartless and cold, but so what, is that not how you feel. my wife and i just shared our 40th antiversery,and we didn't make it that long. spending special times with somebody else. "MERRY Christmas" i hope you find a way to be really.really happy for that special day. best wishes,and lots of luck. go out while he's gone and find someone to be happy with. /////jimmy-g
2006-12-18 16:24:46 · answer #3 · answered by jimmy g 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not appropriate whatsoever. YOU are the girlfriend and should accompany him on this. It shouldn't even matter that it has been a year that he has been your boyfriend.
He is not concerned with YOUR feelings and perhaps even involved with the ex on some level.
Even given the length of their marriage? You didn't mention children? And even so.............YOU should be a part of it no matter what.
Your position is HIS girlfriend. If he chooses not to include you on such a Holiday, and with the EX?
I would consider locating a NEW boyfriend.
2006-12-18 15:47:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anna M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh sweetie...he has a life but without you in it!! It sounds like he is still with his x and you are second priority! You deserve better than this! I would leave him and find someone that puts you first! your boyfriend is treating you like the family dog...leaves you at home and goes out! If he truely loved you, he would be spending x-mas with you and not his x!
Yes, it will hurt to move on but at least you will have a life again! And, not second!!
2006-12-18 15:43:59 · answer #5 · answered by September Sweetie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
too bad he did not share this info with u before he made a commitment to u. if she is still a big part of his life, than what does that tell u? if u force the issue and make him choose he may abandon u, so u have to be sure of if u are ready for him to do that. sounds as if he has his priorities all mixed up, and it does hurt to be last. if they have been broken up all that time, and there is no relationship between them, why is it that u are being excluded? i would personally be hurt, but unless u are willing to press the issue, than your just going to have to let it be this way, painful or not.
2006-12-18 15:43:19 · answer #6 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
something you must deal with?? if you're not okay with this, he should respect that and stop seeing her. tell him that you don't like how his ex is still a big part of his life. why wouldn't he spend x-mas eve with YOU? he's not even acting like a good boyfriend. i think you should tell him how you feel about this and if he can't respect that, break up with him. you deserve better than someone who is still hanging on to their EX girlfriend. emphasize on the EX. find someone who will treat you right and make you the person who matters most to them. someone who wants to spend christmas eve with you and someone who will cherish you and the time he gets to spend with you. this boyfriend of yours is not worth your time. and he does not deserve you. hes being unfair and hes not putting your feelings first. hes not putting YOU first. that sounds to me like this guy is a bad boyfriend.
You deserve better.
2006-12-18 15:45:56 · answer #7 · answered by christi815 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm, i would be pissed if anyone did that to me... he has been in YOUR life for a year and he's not going to get over this EX any faster by hanging around...especially on x-mas. Seems kinds sleezy to me. You should think to yourself, do you really want to continue in this if he can't spend x-mas with ME??? How long is she going to hang around? I don't care 18 years or not. That was THEN. This is now.
2006-12-18 15:40:47 · answer #8 · answered by BrookieB 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Leave his *** behind he does not love or care about you or your needs you can do better and if you don't let go know you will be spending a lot of Christmas's alone get someone who will tend to your needs both mentally ,emotionally and physically he will always go back to his ex they have a major history and you will only get hurt so save yourself from a lot of pain and get out its better for you.
2006-12-18 15:45:09 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
DUMP HIM and if you are not saved and trust Jesus as your personal savior then obtain salvation for your soul join a good church (I am baptist) and get involved with the church family. Pray for God to lead you to the right one or make you right for the one he's got instore for you and I assure you your life will be better once you trust in Jesus. You life could get rocky when you start this but that's the devil trying to keep you away from God but don't let him tempt you. God is great God is Good... Saved June 26, 2006 Baptized August 27. 2006
2006-12-18 15:42:05 · answer #10 · answered by Guess Who 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋