It's a year end meeting, and everyone is normally in a good mood. I want to break to the ice with a funny story, joke, or one-liner. Any ideas? Thanks!
2006-12-18 15:23:22 · 15 answers · asked by deejkat 1 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
What did the fish say when it hit the wall?
Dam
2006-12-18 15:25:57 · answer #1 · answered by who knows 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A panda walks into a cafe a orders a quick lunch. Just as he is finishing his meal, he pulls a gun on the waiter, kills him, and just walks out like nothing happened. Everyone is baffled and they don't know what to do because they know nothing about pandas. The officer decides to check the encyclopedia at the library just down the block to learn about this strange animal. The entry reads:
pan·da
Pronunciation: 'pan-d&
Function: noun
1 : a large black-and-white mammal (Ailuropoda melanoleuca) of chiefly central China and is now usually classified with the bears (family Ursidae). Eats shoots and leaves.
2006-12-18 16:00:53 · answer #2 · answered by 12 November 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-12-30 15:22:45 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well it depends if u may wanna base the line on your presentation or start talking about a part of your presentation and say something like a smart *** comment...well hes my lil jokes
-a guy walks into a bar..ouch
^_^ hey i'm spur of the moment witty
2006-12-18 15:32:15 · answer #4 · answered by Kitty_Cat 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A woman was headed down a one way street, going the wrong way. The local news station sent out a broadcast, which her husband happened to be watching. He dialed his wife's cellphone and told her, "Hey, you won't believe this, but some idiot is driving the wrong way down a one way street." His wife replied, "Yeah, there's a bunch of them." LOL
2006-12-18 15:29:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
always remember you are unique... just like everyone else.
a clean desk is a sign of a messy desk drawer.
he who laughs last thinks slowest.
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
Honk if you love peace and quiet.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you!
There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.
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it would help if you could us what you you are talking about or what your company is about.
if you are looking for some more go:
http://www.jokesandhumor.com/jokes/362.html
2006-12-18 15:35:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try this...
"Hey, did anyone here lose a big wad of $20 bills in a rubber band?" (pause) "Well, I found the rubber band!"
2006-12-18 16:43:23 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face?"
2006-12-18 15:26:49 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Suddenly it happened!...........complete darkness! Someone in the crowd bellowed out! Lord help me I'm blind.......... The person near him nudged him and said; hey be patient, it's only a BLACKOUT!
2006-12-18 15:41:12 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. MY WIFE IS REALLY P.O.ED AT ME! I TOLD HER HOW SEXY SHE LOOKED W/ BLACK FINGERNAILS. NOW SHE THINKS I SLAMMED THE CAR DOOR ON HER HAND ON PURPOSE.
2. I HAVEN'T SLEPT FOR 3 DAYS.... BECAUSE THAT WOULD JUST BE TOOOO LONG!
2006-12-18 17:20:34 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋