what do i do if me and my bf of 5 years are not in love anymore?

Answer 1

Questions like this are hillarious.

Love isn't something anyone is "in". If you're "in" anything, it's infatuation.

Love is something you choose, and it's something you do. If you think it's something you're "in" you will never know what love is or experience it.

So go spend 5 years with someone else, or two years or 6 months...however long it takes before you're not "in" love with those people anymore either. And after you've been on that merry-go-round long enough...maybe you'll finally figure out what love really is.

Answer 2

Well, you very well could walk out, dump him, leave him etc. etc. but, I think maybe you might be looking for a choice. I lived with a man for eight years and we got bored. So we dicided that we would either break-up or get married. I had not worked for years due to alot of traveling and exploring we had been doing so I got a job and immediately found myself working with a doctor who was recently seperated and we become involved. Although my boyfriend and I had basically decided it was over he and I parted on bad terms due to the new boyriend. The doctor and I separted after three years. That was 20 years ago and alot has happened but, I have never forgotten the man I loved and caused so much pain . I made a mistake by leaving. If you really do not love him anymore than maybe parting is the best. But, if life has just gotten boring try spicing it up. Go on first dates again, go to a bar and pretend that you do not know each other and blantenly pick each other up letting all around hear your banter, take dance lessons, move to a new home and decorate it together. There are a million things to do but, make sure your doing what you want to. Think and think hard about you future and how it would be without the one you have spent the last five years with. On the other hand , if he is hurting you, your so unhappy you just can not stand it or he is ready to leave make it happen and don't waste any time. Start you new life with a bang as well. Oh, by the way, my new man and I have been together for eleven years and are hitting the boring spot again and this time I am going to do the things I suggested to you. I am not going to lose him ever.

Answer 3

It's always hard for people to be honest with themselves... and judging from the answers to your question, it's very easy for people to tell you to dump the guy.

Listen... people fall in and out of love all the time. They always seem to forget that a relationship is hard work with ups and downs. It's a freaking roller coaster most of the time anyhow. This is more the matter of whether or not you still love your boyfriend not of being "in love". If you still love your boyfriend then it's worth the hard talk to get things back on track and getting the two of you to start working on this relationship, together.

If you can honestly say to yourself that you no longer love your boyfriend then do the right thing for both of you... break up. But, do it the right way... be understanding of the fact that at some point, maybe not while you're breaking up, that you'll feel better knowing you were honest to him and yourself.

Answer 4

ok, everyone is telling you to move on here. however, ask yourself this question... do you think when you get married that you and your spouse are going to be passionately in love for the rest of your life? the answer is no. ask yourself more questions. do you trust this person? do you feel that you have invested a big portion of yor life to this person and know them well enough to consider working through how you 2 feel? how would you feel if you saw him with another woman, and how would you feel if he saw you with another man? (not necessarily sexually, but together... could be at dinner) once you sort those kind of things out you will be leaning a certain direction. that should help you with your decision. you might break up like i did with my wife. we split up but then i realized i cared too much about her and was always there for her when we were apart- that's how i "knew"/ you'll figure it out.

Answer 5

of course u should break up, but perhaps u can still be friends. sometimes when things shift in our lives it is incredibly uncomfortable, that doesn't mean it isn't what best for (both of) you and it doesn't mean that something better wont come along. i think its good to appreciate a unique time in your life, where certain people fit in a certain place for a certain reason. then you move on, and it makes it that much more special that it exists on a more finite level than this place we call earth. all the best

Answer 6

dont just leave him. talk to him see if he feels the same feelings. 5 years is way to long to just give up and walk on you need to think if that is what you really want or if a break is all you guys need. but after that long you should be able to talk about this kind of stuff good luck

Answer 7

If you are no longer in love regardless of how long you have been together its time to move on. remain friends if you can but move on otherwise your going to be stuck in the same rut for many many years your just wasting both your time and his.

Answer 8

Been in your shoes for the 5 year thing. I'd recommend talking it out and seeing what comes from dialogue rather than what people on yahoo! answers say.. (oh, the irony :) )

Answer 9

Victoria- if you are not in love- split up. Why are you wasting your time hanging around in a dead end situation? You never said if you had children together- but even if you did- split! Good luck.

Answer 10

eventually youll just fall apart, the same happened with me with a girlfriend of 3 years, you just eventually fall off not talking to each to each other, dont just all of a sudden stop cause thats a little hard but eventually it will happen, sorrry