I just found out my sister-in-law, (husband's brother's wife) who is "making" Christmas Eve dinner, (and who I've seen "helping" at my inlaws' without washing her paws) is serving the leftover ham and turky from HER families' dinner. My mother in law left a message that we're supposed to bring a lettuce salad only. Now I'm sorry. If I want to be served Christmas leftovers, I'll show up on the 26th, not the 24th! I want to bring fresh food. Am I the one who's unreasonable?
2006-12-18 15:14:25 · 16 answers · asked by Gabby_Gabby_Purrsalot 7 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
There are starving children, in third world countries, and well quite frankly............. i think they'd find it disgusting as well. Who wants to be served left-overs.
2006-12-18 15:21:22 · answer #1 · answered by errr 2 · 1⤊ 3⤋
The rule is, when someone invites you to dinner, you eat what they provide (unless you have some serious medical reason not to, like an allergy). If you don't want to do that, you politely decline the invitation. Since this is a command performance, and would result in a family ruckus if you were a no-show, you do the next best thing. Eat a good dinner before you go, take very small helpings of everything but the lettuce salad at your sister-in-law's table and chase it around your plate while having scintillating conversations with the people on either side of you. But you still don't have the option of bringing a whole meal, only what was requested.
Looking at the comment about your SIL not washing her paws, it sounds as though you have a history with the lady in any case.
Best thing to do here is just keep telling yourself it's Christmas and cope as best you can. But don't spoil it for everyone else by making an issue out of what really doesn't make much difference. Think about some parts of the world where they would be happy to have anything at all to eat.
Happy Hogmanay
2006-12-18 23:27:19 · answer #2 · answered by old lady 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Using leftovers is probably considered strange for most people, though you're sister-in-law could have her own reasons for doing so. If you're not comfortable with it, maybe you could volunteer to bring over a fresh turkey (or whatever the main dish is).
If your sister-in-law still insists on using the leftovers, tell her (without being rude) that you feel there might not be enough for everyone if she uses leftovers and you'd be happy to bring a turkey. This way, you don't have to say right out that you disagree with her 'cooking' style but you get the point across without hurting her feelings.
2006-12-18 23:25:49 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow....that's disgusting!! for thanksgiving this year my mother made turkeys for both sides of the families. one for my father's side(her in-laws) and for her side of the family. If she would have saved the turkey from what was left over from her side would have been disgusting. There wasn't that much left anyways. Everyone was touching all the food. With so many hands on grabbing at it. It doesn't take that much to cook some food. My mother didn't complain one bit to cook two turkeys. Everyone brought food to serve and it was a buffet style/potluck. Just suggest that everyone bring something and that you will bring the turkey or ham.
2006-12-18 23:26:43 · answer #4 · answered by ♥Brown Eyed Girl ♥ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unless they are in a tight situation financially, I would think bringing leftovers to a Christmas dinner is pretty tacky. I don't think you're being unreasonable, but it's probably not worth making a big fuss about.
2006-12-18 23:18:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
well...first of all, you don't know all the circumstances. Perhaps on XMas Eve, her family makes extra so that they can cook together all at once. Share recipes, duties and the like, knowing that it is for 2 separate meals. Second--what's wrong with leftovers? I have a 48 hour rule with respect to eating them, but we're talking the next day. Third...maybe she doesn't want to spend the entire XMas morning in the kitchen and would rather enjoy her company.
Get over it. Eat or don't eat, but be respectful in her home. It's people like you who make a fuss about unimportant things that put clouods over the holidays !
2006-12-18 23:45:46 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Wow, perhaps she is poor and is trying to make a nice dinner for you. Or maybe she wants to be a hostess but isn't sure about her cooking skills. Either way, eat your salad that you bring and don't call attention to the fact that you aren't eating the other dishes if you don't want to. But leftovers from one day won't kill you.
2006-12-18 23:23:50 · answer #7 · answered by drshorty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your inlaws have no social skills. I'd eat beforehand, bring that fresh salad, but just eat that and shove those leftovers to the side. No, you are not being unreasonable at all.
2006-12-18 23:19:18 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
It is normal to have fresh food not left overs for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. I see your point and plus if she does not wash her paws as you put it, think before eating it.
2006-12-18 23:23:27 · answer #9 · answered by Lore 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can bring your own ham and turkey over with permission or make some at your own house and host the party instead. If you are eating at her house, even if she is being unreasonable, it is her party, her dinner--and her terms.
2006-12-19 00:04:47 · answer #10 · answered by xenmurok 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you are is focused on finding fault with your sister-in-law. Get over yourself, forget your little spy game, and go enjoy your family. Who the heck cares about the food compared to the holiday and family?
2006-12-19 06:28:40 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋