How do I deal with a child who got into a fight at school?

Question

He was "arrested" and processed for hitting a kid after school. He has court next week. How do I deal with this without overreacting and making it worse? My husband and I are beside ourselves. There was some taunting on the part of this kid, but our son overreacted. He's only 12 years old.

Answer 1

I know this sounds stupid, but if you seek professional advice for your son before the court appointment it will look really good to the judge and he will go a lot easier on him. Plus, he will probably send him for anger counseling or some such thng anyway. Still it never hurts to beat the judge to the punch.
Good luck, our family survived and with Gods help, yours will too.

Answer 2

It is a good sign that you realize your son's reaction was out of line.Some parents would deny their child was involved, even if it was on video.Did he hurt the other person? Does the other boy have a history of taunting? It is not acceptable for people to think that fighting is ok.Someone always gets hurt and sometimes it is someone being the victim of a bully.Your son will get a valuable lesson from this experience by accepting responsibility for his actions.Just curious ,did the "victim" get talked to by anyone about his part in the event?

Answer 3

There is nothing to deal with except shrieking, overreacting school officials.

It's unfathomable that in today's world the normal dealings of twelve year old boys are criminalized.

30 years ago a kid would taunt, the other kid throws a punch, they wrestle a little and three days later they're best friends. In todays sissified environment everything is a federal offense.

Your 12 year old son acted as 12 year olds act, and he did nothing wrong.

I'm sorry that you're having to deal with the courts over something so tiny. I hope it works out for you.

Answer 4

I think that you need to explain to him how serious the situation is. Somebody could have been really hurt and using physical force is not acceptable. At the same time I think that it is important that you validate his feelings. For example, "It's tough to be made fun of, I can see why you did what you did, BUT there are more appropriate ways to express your anger. What are some things that you can think of?" I would also consider taking away some priveleges (tv, phone, going out, etc). There is a great book by Pepper Scwartz called "10 talks to have with your kids about violence and safety."<--or something close to that title. She also has a series on talking about drugs and alcohol, and sex and character. Anywho, the book outlines different talks that you can have with your kids, plus ways to teach them new skills. You might also want to check out the MST website. There are some great articles. http://www.mstservices.com/ I hope this helps a bit. Good luck in court.

Answer 5

Tell him that you don't want him to get into any more fights in school and that you just want him to walk away, but also tell him you understand that he was under pressure and was being hurt. You can probably remember what it was like to be taunted. He will have to have a punishment, but make sure he knows you are behind him and want him to do better with his over-reactions.

Answer 6

wow i think the system is overreacting, fighting among 12 year olds is part of growing up at least it wont stay on his record, but you should find the true source of the problem if the kid provoked it or was your son bullying, ultimately he will be held responsible, but dont be quick to judge, your son has a right to defend himself

Answer 7

Talk to him and find out all of the facts before overreacting. Overreacting can only bring more problems.

Answer 8

if it was for a good reason, like defending a girl from a boy, congradulate him. If it was petty, like he called your boy a "fag" pr something, teaching him words are better than violence b4 he goes to court, so he can tell the judge just that. and bring the whole fam & dress up, the judge will give u more respect.

Answer 9

you may keep in mind that your son did not commence the strive against. If the different youngster also threw the first punch then your son ought to of merely been protecting or protecting himself. yet he also ought to of merely walked away. take a seat and communicate with him. tell him that you adore him and how disillusioned you're. supply him a useful punishment.

Answer 10

Ummm anger managment classes perhaps? Teach him that he can't resort to violence everytime someone taunts him or else he may one day wind up in prison. Figure out where it was that he LEARNED how to react violently.