I got my aunt, uncle, and two cousins very thoughtful gifts. They were inexspensive, but still nice. I got My uncle a bottle of gery goose voldka, my aunt burts bees lotion and chap stick, my female cousin a make up bag and lip gloss, and my male cousin an axe gift set with deoderant shower gel, and spray. The most exspensive was the voldka, 15$, burts bees 10, lip glosss and bag, 10 and axe, 9. Its not the money, its that I tried to get them all sometghing that they would enjoy and that I know they are into. I got a card that is from one of those boxes of cards with no thought and 10$ form the whole family. And the worst part is my female cousin was telling me how she got a new job a few months back and makes 14$ an hour. I only make 10 and dont live at home like she does rent free. I know i shouldn't really care but i though they would at least try to get me something i'd enjoy. Couldn't they all pitch in and at leats give my 40$? please tell me if you think I am wrong.
2006-12-18 14:12:59 · 23 answers · asked by sarajane 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
You put some thought into the gifts you picked for the cuz, aunt, and uncle. And it seems to you that they didn't put much thought into the gift they gave you. No, I do not think your are wrong for feeling upset over this. People can say all they want that x-mas is about giving and giving and giving without expecting anything in return. That is true to an extent. In some cases, that cliche just doesn't make you feel better when you feel stiffed by people you care for. For example, if you enjoy giving a friend a nice gift that she really likes for x-mas and you know that she has little money and cannot afford to spend big bucks on you - you buy the gift for her anyway cuz you want to make her happy. If she's a good friend, it is worth it. Your're not expecting her to buy extravagent items for you so you are not dissapointed. As for your relatives, if they are not finacially strapped and you know this for a fact, just chock this up to experience and spend less on them next year and/or spend your time putting thought and care into selecting gifts for somebody else.
2006-12-18 15:52:18 · answer #1 · answered by Hermione G 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know they probably should have got you something more thoughtful,however Christmas is really about family and giving. Perhaps although you think they have more than they do they might not and that may be all they could have given. Anyway you felt really good when you brought those gifts for your family and that should make you feel better than recieving. Just remember there are some people out there right now who do not even have a roof over their head and are wondering how they will feed their children or pay their light bill. Christmas is about CHRIST. That is the real reason for the holiday however so many people forget that. Be grateful for what you have and enjoy giving this holiday season. Merry Christmas.
2006-12-18 22:42:36 · answer #2 · answered by Jolene R 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I believe that people give gifts from the heart, no matter what the cost. I do think that what they "gave" you was not really a gift at all, but just threw some money into a card (and not much $$ either),
You gave them very nice gifts, but now you expect the same amount that you spent. I understand how you feel, but that's not really what Christmas is about.
Next year, if you want to get them something, get them something that will not cost over $10.00 for the whole family (a board game or something) that way if you again get $10.00 you wont feel slighted.
2006-12-18 22:22:52 · answer #3 · answered by slpkwp 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should wise up and either realize that they are poor and have a lot of people to spend very little on, or they want to seem poor so you don't overspend on them. Of course, they could just be trailer trash jerks, but I won't go there. Here are some tips...
don't be mad, take it as a lesson for next time and realize for the money you spent you bought them cheap.
How Much Should you Spend?
http://www.theknot.com/ch_article.html?Object=A60531193340&keywordID=180&keywordType=2&parentID=527&PARTNER=MSN
..."Whether you’re gifting cash or presents, the exact formula of how
much you should spend depends on many factors: your finances;
conventions in your family and social circle; how well you know the
couple; and whether you’ll be spending a lot of money on
transportation and lodging, etc.
Step 1: Come up with a total expenditure that feels right to you. Be
sure to consider all the events: Generally speaking, the closer you are, the more you should gift. If you’re traveling great distances
to attend the celebration (and are thus spending a lot of money in
transit) then you may be expected to gift a little less.
Step 2: Portion out your total sum by event. Once you’ve figured out what you want to spend on the gifts overall, you can break it
down by percentages so that the gift gets the bulk of your
cash.
2006-12-18 22:34:51 · answer #4 · answered by cubcowboysgirl 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
no offense or anything since I know you might not have all the money in th world but I dont know one boy under 18 who would like toiletrees as a gift and the makeup bag for a female cousin would be good for a six year old who is just trying makeup. That could be a reason why they kind of stiffed you. I guess the rest of your family probably thinks you did the same thing even though you meant them all as thoughtful gifts.
2006-12-18 22:29:29 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you are wrong. Christmas is not about judging gifts and what people spend on you. Giving is it's own reward. I mean, if you donated gifts to the Angel Tree (which I totally believe in) would you expect gifts back? (Obviously not) But the point I am making, is that it's not that they don't think much of you, or that they don't love you. They more than likely adore you! It's lovely that you bought them things, but it's grief just trying to get the immediate family gifts and the teacher's, garbage man, mailman, etc tipped or gifted!
Sometimes I think all this gifting is crazy! It's just STUFF!
Just spend dinner together and talk...bring a dish. The gift is LOVE and FAMILY!
2006-12-18 22:39:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Ouch, that does sting a bit. It may be that they have a whole ton of people to buy things for, and couldn't afford to be extravagant, but they could have at least bought something, instead of giving money.
I'd say though, don't let it affect your future behavior. don't chintz out on them next year because of this year, unless you genuinely drift apart. It may also be that they weren't expecting anything from you. That happens. I've neglected someone only to find that they'd been very generous to me! It is very troubling. Just see what happens. If you want to be polite and yet also make them feel bad- write a completely non- sarcastic thank you note!
2006-12-18 22:22:19 · answer #7 · answered by kivrin9 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well first of all it is wonderful that you tried to be so thoughtful about what they like. I understand that your feelings are hurt. You put a lot of your time and effort into finding them nice gifts.
Something you should consider is that they may not value Christmas gifts the same way that you do. For example, my brother did not give me any gift for about three years, but I always got him one. Then when he got married and had a child he changed, but his idea of a great gift is a gift card to Wal-Mart. I like having a present even if it's a pair of socks!
When I give gifts I give gifts to them for the joy of giving them something that they love, without thinking about what I may get in return. So, maybe your family is grateful for what you gave them, but they just don't feel as compelled to get you a gift like what you got them. Maybe they already knew what they wanted to get you and you just did better!
Something else is that you are talking about your aunt, uncle and cousin. That isn't quite the same as your mom, dad and brother. Maybe they don't feel so close to you. I mean, do you honestly expect your distant family to give you extravagant gifts?
I know your feelings are hurt, but learn to give just for the sake of giving. That is what makes Christmas keep being fun!
2006-12-18 22:27:54 · answer #8 · answered by alicesarbonne 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are definitely not wrong to feel the way you do! A gift is a gift but by throwing an expectation on it, you kind of set yourself up for failure. For better or worse, they got you a gift, although it wasn't what you were hoping for.
Hope Santa comes and makes it up to you!
2006-12-18 22:27:33 · answer #9 · answered by 1 + 1 = 10 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know a place where 16 year olds make 14 dollars an hour
2006-12-18 22:37:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋