Is anyone afraid of marriage?

Question

I'm 19 years old and I love to dream about being married and can picture myself being married one day as well. However, why is it that when I seriously think about the whole actuality of it all I get completely scared of commitment? I've never been a bad girlfriend, probably better then most. I've never cheated on anyone and could never see myself cheating on someone. I know I will only ever fall in love once, that's just who I am, but why am I so scared?

And to explain this a bit better, my fiest boyfriend used me, and my second boyfriend had a secret fiance and newborn baby that he never mentioned until 3 months into the relationship. Even then, it was the fiance telling me, not him.

Answer 1

for some not-so-good people, marriage would be one helluva scare because of the commitment it entails.. some people jus wanna have sex with everyone they think is attractive n forget the faithfulness "till death do us part" bit..

but for you, i don't think that's the case..i think u're serious about marriage..so being afraid, or worried, is alright.. marriage is the deepest relationship between 2 individuals possible.. (assumin we're using the traditional meaning.. the one that does not allow divorce AT ALL..) i'm a christian, so at least that's wat i know..
marriage brings about many challenges from financial, emotional, mental, and one thousand other things.. it IS daunting..

but hey, that's wat marriage is, right? livin together with someone different whose personality u can't change.. lovin each other no matter what.. thinkin about each other more than u think about urself.. bein faithful n sensitive to each other's feelings..
im sorry i talk too much..but i'm really glad u're a faithful girlfriend n u think such critical n mature thoughts.. it means u're not taking marriage for granted..like many do.. even at such an early age.. i'm proud of you..
if jus 1% of the world is like u, maybe we'd see a much better world..

Answer 2

Anyone who has seriously thought about marriage is a little bit afraid of it, and for good reason. It's a big deal, unlike what Hollywood would have you believe. You should be in it for LIFE, and that's a pretty daunting prospect.

Your apprehension is based in large part on your youth and inexperience; as you get older and more comfortable in your own skin, you'll realize that you are capable of lasting commitments, and you'll try out some shorter term ones, and finally arrive at the biggest one of all. Don't rush, and don't let anyone try to put you on any other timetable than the one that feels right and natural to you. You will, by the way, fall in love more than once in your life. It's inevitable, and it's ok, and it doesn't mean you're fickle.

My grandmother used to say, "Marry in haste, repent at leisure." Take your time; the key to being your best in any relationship is to be your best outside of it, first. Make sure you know exactly who you are and what you want from life before trying to add someone else to the big equation. Ultimately, the key to a happy relationship and a happy marriage is to know what your deal-breakers are, and then let all the rest of your wrangles go. You can't know what your deal-breakers are 'til you've lived a pretty full life for a pretty long time.

Good luck, and have fun! Marriage is a great adventure, and it's worth the wait!

Answer 3

I think marriage is a huge step in someone's life, only if they want it to be. Marriage doesn't change the fact that there might be a divorce, it's not less painful then breaking up with someone and it's no different from a relationship except for going through the hassles of divorce. Just protect your assets and get a prenup signed if you are the one with everything... lol

As for children etc, people who do not get married at times do separate!!! why are you so scared of paper? That is in fact all marriage is right?

Don't be so negative! If you marry the man you feel you want to marry, don't turn back. And if sh*t happens then you'll cross the bridge when you get to it!

Answer 4

Oh, I think a good majority of us are... It comes from living in a society that no longer tells us we need a mate to be happy (and rightfully so) and encourages peace on an individual level. There is much out there to see and do and plenty of time for love and marriage. The rest of your life is a looong time - especially at age 19.
Sharing your life with someone is a wonderful thing but you want to be really sure they're the right one first - fortunately we have the luxury of being able to that these days. 19's a beautiful time - enjoy it!

Answer 5

I have found that if you love someone and want to be with them for the rest of your life, that scared feeling you get, it actually goes away. When I thought about spending the rest of my life with my other half it scared me but I knew I wouldn't do it with anyone ever again. Right now your 19, give it some time you will meet someone and for the time being have fun and do some stuff to tell your grandchildren about. Nothing illegal of course, LOL. Hope that helps, Good Luck.

Answer 6

I'm feeling the same way as you about it.You look at the divorce rate in this country and people like britney spears that had a 2 week marriage and I believe a 24 hour marriage and wonder what's real anymore.Just don't trust people like I just did two days ago take your time.I wish you all the best in these troubled times.

Answer 7

No, my dear. Go on and plan for it someday. You've plenty of years, so make sure you've a good man before you make the commitment.
There's a lot of guys who are not like you, and they may be the type who'd dump a girl without much thought, not wanting any responsibilities, so that may be the reason why you are scared. But hopefully, you'll find him.

Answer 8

Its because dreaming of marriage, the wedding, honeymoon, etc is very nice to think about, but to think of it as actual and going to happen is a scary thing, to much responsibility put on the female and her family, the cost, etc.
You have are right to be scared

Answer 9

You are scared because you haven't been with anyone yet that you want to marry.

And it's also something you can't just change your mind about. Its legally binding. You want out, you have to get a divorce. Messy and expensive.

But if you find the right person, then it won't be scary. you will want them all to yourself for ever and ever and marriage will just be something that will keep you together legally.

Answer 10

I have never been afraid of marriage, as a matter of fact with the right person, you life is fully complete, and happy.