This guy I was seeing recently broke up with me because he still has feelings for his ex. What I don't understand is that they had a horrible relationship - broke up 3 times in 8 months of dating. She talked bad about him behind his back and constantly nagged him into arguments. Why would he go back to that?
2006-12-18 12:57:23 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Addiction to the strength of the sensory stimulation... and the compulsion of curiosity in the logical demise of the previous pattern.
Earlier in my life.... while going thru a break-up... I was more captivated by seeing thru the unresolved issues of my previous relationshit than I was in protecting my present relationship.
My new mate was convinced/afraid it was a sexual matter (it wasn't), I felt at the time that it was only my needing to understand what had happened to the person I had known and that was all... but my ex and I fought to get to the answers... it wasn't until we had no more fight left with each other that I was more attached to the new relationship. I didn't have all the answers, but the rush from the research was gone...
The addiction had run it's course... it was only afterwards that I could focus clearly on my new relationship.
You don't want a relationship with a person who has such deeply unresolved issues with a entirely different person... they have "ghosts in the machine", and they will play havoc and chaos in your relationship. The stability and trust you have earned will be vaporized at a whim or activated by things neither of you will understand... find someone who has been single for a while... they will be more stable and know themselves better... and less likely to be addicted to someone elses pheramones.
Best wishes !
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2006-12-19 08:46:27 · answer #1 · answered by Jesus H. Zeitgeist 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-05-07 17:31:06 · answer #2 · answered by Annette 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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RE:
Why do guys go back to their ex girlfriends?
This guy I was seeing recently broke up with me because he still has feelings for his ex. What I don't understand is that they had a horrible relationship - broke up 3 times in 8 months of dating. She talked bad about him behind his back and constantly nagged him into arguments. Why would he...
2015-08-18 19:05:15 · answer #3 · answered by Emmaline 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
familiarity he is used to the dating habits. he also knows what the ex wants from him there is probably a certain sense of security. But going back never works it usually ends up very bad . They broke up in the first place for a reason what ever the reason may be,and those reasons are usually not resolved. Look for that relationship to not last more than 6 month's.And you'll be there not with open arms but there to point ,laugh , and say HA HA!!!!
2006-12-18 13:15:33 · answer #4 · answered by longhairjim33 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
itty: This is one of the strangest things I've seen myself. There are people in this world, who are addicted to staying in bad situations ! I'm convinced, that unless they have someone to do battle with, he or she isn't truly happy !!! If I may add, be careful about becoming involved with guys who are "rebounding" from a broken relationship. With the passing of time, the bad experience or circumstance which caused the initial break up will be forgotten and the guy / girl will come running back at the other's beckon call ! All is fair in love and war !!!
2006-12-18 13:10:02 · answer #5 · answered by guraqt2me 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Familiarity.
Did you ever stop to think that maybe you were the rebound? I am not saying this to be cruel. It is possible that he was with you to find out if that girl was the one he is meant to be with.
Look at as a blessing in disguise, girl. You are probably better off without him. Eventually you would have ended up miserable because of the ex's constant presence.
Move on and count yourself lucky.
2006-12-18 13:02:00 · answer #6 · answered by NyteWing 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
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I have good news and bad news: Good:- your in high school and you can talk to who ever you want. you shouldn't be afraid to live your live on the fact that some girl you know used to date a guy. when we get technical doesn't everyone we know used to date someone? What you need to do:- alright you have a couple of classes with him if she is in some of them make sure you talk to him in the class that she isn't in. Alright start by flirting after all you don't want to try and talk to some one if they aren't interested. See if he flirts back and if he does you have him. You can flirt by complimenting him...you have sexy eyes, your outfit is cute. you have a nice smile things like that. then just ease into casual conversation what are you doing this weekend? what do you like to do for fun? things like that. Bad news:- depending on how close of friends you were with the girl and you said not really then you wouldn't mind loosing her as a friend. she might be hurt but its life and things go on. you can't go through life doing what makes others happy. if you do then who will make you happy? keep safe and good luck.
2016-04-13 01:13:27 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 27⤊ 0⤋
Two reasons:
1.) "Old shoe" syndrome...you get the comfort level of knowing what to expect.
2.) What you have isn't as good or as 'free' as what you once had. The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence...
The sad thing is: Guys that go back somehow forget why they left in the first place, the idiots!!!
2006-12-18 13:02:01 · answer #8 · answered by wetdreamdiver 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Wow...deja vous....I had the same thing happen to me last year at around this time. I beat myself up for months trying to come up with a logical explaination but bottom line was that they are drawn to the emotional upheaval that that they had with that person, they see it as passion, anything worth having is worth some hard work, bla bla bla. He said it was easy to go back to her because he didnt have to commit to her but I was someone who was definately worth marrying and that scared him. With her there was always a way out. I think it stems from them being attracted to strong women as well. Even though they know that woman is hell to be with they are drawn to them and accept them because of their own low self esteme. They don't feel they deserve better because they are so broken so it is natural to pick someone else who is broken too so they dont look so bad. I remember reading one e-mail that he wrote her that cut me like a knife when I found it. He wrote" She takes great care of me and is so loving and and we have so much fun together. The kids really feel comfortable around her and really seem to like her too, I just don't know what is stoppng me from loving her the way I love you." That was it for me....I knew he didn't want me at that point. He just wanted her to act more like me!!!!!!!! I am so better off now....but he is still chasing her tail with the whole on again off again relationship. Hey, think about it this way...they deserve each other!!!!!!! Dont miss him for a minute.....its a waste of time.
2006-12-18 13:18:15 · answer #9 · answered by one2nikki 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It has happened to me too and what I told the guy was he must enjoy the treatment. He couldn't handle someone that was good to him but wants someone that treats him poorly and cheats. So be it! They deserve each other if they enjoy making each other miserable like that. You'll find someone that wants to be with someone like you some day when you least expect it and then you won't even wonder about this one anymore because it won't matter.
2006-12-18 13:01:40 · answer #10 · answered by Janet J 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋