Okay so my fiancee wants to go up to Alaska and go on one of the commercial fishing boats. He wants to leave me for four months and not come back until four months before our wedding. He wants me to plan it all by myself. First off I'm not comfortable with who he's going with, she's kinda a slut when she drinks and she drinks a lot. I trust him but it still makes me slightly nervous. Second its dangerous and I don't want him hurt or killed. Third I don't want him leaving me with so much to do by myself. Fourth he still doesn't know where he's going to stay or anything that he should know. I've told him I dont' want him going and that it will really stress me out but he is really stubborn. Another thing is, he really isn't strong enough to do anything on a boat and he is really lazy and the job he wants requires long hours, etc. When I point these out he's too stubborn and just doesn't understand it. He'll be 20 when he leaves. What do I do?
2006-12-18 12:54:46 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Where he lives now he has two jobs and we have a home...and he wants to go to Alaska for four months and doesn't know where he's going to stay and could possibly die.
2006-12-18 13:04:10 · update #1
He's doing it for the money. But I've told him we can work out money without him having to risk his life. When I tell him how high of a risk it is he says he's not scared of dying and when I remind him that i'm scared of him dying and so is his family he just says that we will all get over it.
2006-12-18 13:08:11 · update #2
OH MY GOD. abort abort aauugaa aauuga.
You are headed for an iceburg - straight ahead!!
Okay sorry couldn't resist.
Let me get this straight. You are sending off your husband to the number 1 most dangerous job in the world.....you are sending him with a floozy drunk whore...and he'll be leaving you to do everything for 4 months by yourself. Not to mention he's lazy, can't do the work, and has no where to live. WOW what a great relationship! You guys must really love each other.
2006-12-18 13:02:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The answer is simple. Put off the marriage. Marriage is after all a committment between two MATURE people. I said two mature people, not one. If he does not listen to your very serious and relevant concerns about his safety, your relationship, your convenience and your concern, then he really isn't ready , isn't mature enough to get married. Talk to him. Explain why and about your concerns. If he can give you a satisfactory explaination, then well and good. Give him the chance. If however he cannot, ask him to stay and tell him your reason.
Now if he won't then he doesn't love and respect you enough to marry you. Or he is not mature enough for the relationship that marriage is. If he won't listen then postpone the marriage. This will give you both the time to really consider the worth of this relationship and him time to become mature. It is better that you bit the bullet now before your marriage than have the bullet bite you after your marriage. And you will have to think of you future children. Anyway if you say it is best to postpone the marriage this might knock some sense into him and get him to seriously consider the worth of the relationship. The worth of you. Save youself a lot of anguish in the future. For it sounds like at the very least he is a very immature person. Not ready for the serious committment of marriage. You owe youself to have a stable, solid and happy relationship with a responsible and mature man. You owe it to your children. Better you find out now than later. DO IT NOW. FOR YOUSELF.
2006-12-18 21:11:39 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump him now....before you invest any money in a wedding that sounds like it's already canceled. You may love him, but if this is how he acts now, not respecting your wishes, being irresponsible and refusing to compromise and -by the way WHY is he bringing a woman other than YOU??!!??-sounds like he has a lot of growing up to do. This "man" is SOOOOO not ready for marriage.
2006-12-18 21:02:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to find out why he wants to do it. it only makes sense if it will help both of you. or if he really wants to back out of the wedding. He may not really be ready to settle down in a marriage and is afraid to tell you. If he really wants to go dont fight with him about it. he will only resent it if he thinks you made him lose an opportunity. 20 is still young and i wouldnt be in a rush to get married yet. good luck.
2006-12-18 21:06:39 · answer #4 · answered by katlady 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would certainly not stand for him off on a trip with another woman while you plan the wedding and do all the work by yourself. Now is the time to nip that s*** in the bud. Tell him he needs to get his priorities straight, or you'll decide for him by calling off the wedding.
2006-12-18 21:00:46 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW!!! Have you tried yelling?? lol stubborn people dont really listen correctly.. sorry if it doesnt work out for you.
2006-12-18 21:20:56 · answer #6 · answered by ST3PHANi3 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your question starts with "How do I combat his stupidity?"
I rephrase that -
"Who is the stupid one putting up with HIS behaviour?"
Get out now! Repeat: Get out now. Ship is sinking! You are going to drown! Abandon ship. Mayday. Mayday
2006-12-18 21:46:30 · answer #7 · answered by thisbrit 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋