My problem is my husband’s mother. In front of my husband and everybody else she portrays that she loves me a lot but whenever she finds me alone she will be harsh and say hurtful things to me. I know she doesn’t like me but wants her son to believe that she is treating me like her own daughter. I can sense that she is speaking bad things about me to other relatives as well. She interfares in all our decisions and tries to control our lives.
When I discuss this with my husband he becomes very defensive about his mother and tries to justify everything she says. in fact, he doesn't believe that his mother only pretends to love me. This has created resentment in our relationship as I feel that he doesn’t trust me And he feels that I want to create misunderstanding between him and his mother bcoz im jealous. How should I handle this situation. Should I just tolerate what my mom-in-law says or should I confront her? And how can I win my husband’s support and trust on this issue?
2006-12-18 12:43:56 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Are you sure you're not talking about me? This is my situation exactly. I really feel that when You and I have had enough, we will tell his mom to kiss our a**. And our husbands are not being the man they need to be which means they will have to stay under Mama's apron.
2006-12-18 12:48:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Boy, everyone's sure got you figured out don't they. That is why they treat you like that. You are a doormat. You can't just say you are going to stand up for yourself, you do it. Next time your mother says something, confront her...tell her you will not tolerate the comment again. It will probably freak her out. She'll either be rude or surprised. What do you care? People like her only continue to do things when they think they can get under your skin. If you give her no more ammo, then she'll give up. As far as your husband goes, don't bring it up to him. The less he knows the better. He's already said he doesn't want to get inbetween you two, so don't put him there! Good luck
2006-12-18 12:52:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
go rent a camera and mini recorder and show your husband what you are talking about and if needed confront her with your evidence in front of your husband. If he won't defend you then he never will, some mother/son relationships never take their proper place after marriage. at that point you have to decide whether you want to be the other woman.
2006-12-18 12:51:41 · answer #3 · answered by mamadana 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that your husband should believe you & be on your side when you tell him things like this, if he's going to give you hell about it, then keep bringing it up to him. Don't let him be boss, this is a marriage & both of you need to compromise when there's a problem. I think he's just a Mama's Boy & is use to listening to his mom & taking orders from her, being on her side, whatever. As your wife, you need to make him see what she's doing to you because it's not right. Your MIL sounds evil, this is like that one movie called HUSH with Gwenyth Paltrow in it, you should see it.
2006-12-18 12:51:44 · answer #4 · answered by sugarBear 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you could play her game. be sweet to her around everyone else and confront her when youre alone with her. or just a void contact as much as possible. your husband does not want to believe that his mother isnt nice to you so stop arguing with him. it only makes things worse and creates the wedge between you that his mother seems to want. good luck.
2006-12-18 12:52:15 · answer #5 · answered by katlady 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think of that it may circulate the two strategies. Why can no longer love be idealistic and reasonable in stability? it relatively is style of a call in my opinion. you are able to decide directly to tutor the different guy or woman you adore them or you are able to decide directly to no longer. yet no person would be passionate and considerate and dedicated and selfless *in any respect situations*, yet once you are able to desire to be with somebody in the process the mundane, it relatively is something. Do i think of literature continually portrays love realistically? No. "the place it particularly is considered as occurring between youthful babies, as forceful and something it relatively is nicely worth scuffling with for even to the technique of dying." living is a lot extra good.
2016-10-15 05:08:31 · answer #6 · answered by dudik 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When she's cutesy in front of hub, tell her you're confused because the last time you were alone she said (insert hateful thing) and ask which message she wants you to believe. Watch sparks fly. Happy holidays.
2006-12-18 12:47:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
100% you should not put with this, given that you really believe she is being rude towards you for no reason. if that is the case, you have to seriously sit down with your husband and get him to understand where you are coming from and this is really making you upset and uncomfortable. you don't deserve this treatment from anyone. your husband should be trying to understand you. you are his wife. i hope you can let him see what is really going on.. good luck
2006-12-18 12:47:11 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A hidden tape recorder can provide a heads up to those playing ignorant in many situations.
2006-12-18 12:48:33 · answer #9 · answered by Kitty 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would say confront her in the presence of your man (un knowing mil) Then he will se for himself. Then if he does not support you, you should think about if that's the kind of thing you can live with or not.
(I've been through the same sort of thing with my hubby's family, they hate me.. my family hates him. It stinks i know!)
Best of luck!
2006-12-18 12:49:40 · answer #10 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋