How do I get Mother In Law out of the picture?

Question

Okay I live with my inlaws because my husband and I have a son and we are trying to save My husband does not want an apartment because he says that it is a waste of money. Well I know my mother in law does not like me but I stay in this house anyways, but she crossed the line when she said I am a bad mother. The problem is my husband did not say anything to her about it. I feel like I am being put 2nd. I should be put first. I put up with her crap all the time because I love myhusband, but when she said that she crossed the line, and Worse my husband did not say anthing to her... how do I get her out of the picture. I already talked to my husband, and he said oh.. she is old just tune it out. I am tired of doing that, she already tells me how to raise my son, what more can I take? HELP I really need advice. I am on the verge of just leaving, and seing if he follows me .. if he loves me more than his mother!!

Answer 1

I do understand how you feel, but you are being emotional right now. Don't leave, that would be very foolish, and to see if he follows you is immature. It sounds like you two are a young couple, and it really is unfortunate that you have chosen to live with his parents. Regardless of how he feels it is not financially wise to rent an apartment, you need to explain to him that it is taking it's toll on your marriage.

There are times when you do have to overlook what other people say, and I don't know the context of the conversation in which she said you were a bad mother....I would encourage you not to get upset when she makes these remarks to you...it will only add fuel to the fire.

I do think you two should see if you could go to counseling. I thinkt here is more to the situation than meets the eye. You also need to get your husband to show you on paper what the financial plan is in order to purchase a home. How much money are you saving each month toward that goal. Living with anyone will put a strain on your marriage, much less a mother in law.

You aren't going to be able to get her out of the picture, so you both have to make some changes. Try to benefit from anything "constructive" she says about raising your son and try not to take things personal. Learn to establish some boundaries. Perhaps you can have a heart to heart with her when the time is appropriate. Maybe she does like you, and maybe she wants to get to know you better, and maybe she really doesn't mean any harm. Try giving her the benefit of the doubt.

I wish you well.

Answer 2

Do it!! Get up and go. Don't put up with this for 1 min longer. He needs to get you and the kids out of his mothers house and be a man. Get your own place together and make your lives together without his mothers interference. It's not his mothers place to put a roof over his family's head. He has a family of his own and he should cut the apron strings and man up. It is hard to do but it can be done. I don't know if you have a job or not but if you don't' get one. That way you are bringing money in to help and there is no excuse to stay at mommas If he will not let you' LEAVE. See if it will light a fire under his backside.

Answer 3

Well your not going to solve anything that why. Do understand that you are in her house and your husband just may not be in a position to say much. i do feel he is wrong not to stand up to her tho. If all fails try a sit down with everyone. Say what bothers you, that you don't feel that your parenting is not to be debated. I think there is a lot of stress in situations like this and until you and your husband can find your own place, there is no other way to give you advise. Please be patient , and do the best you can.

Answer 4

I also live with my mother-in-law. Thank God our children are grown, but she lets me know she's not fond of me either. I used to try cleaning the house up real good and cooking and being real nice to her, but she still seemed rude to me.So I finally said fu*k it. Now, I do what I have to and she is still the bi*ch she always was. IShe never comes straight out with what she's got to say. I decided I would do the same. I know it's her house, but I be damned If I will let her walk all over me. I alos can go to my daughter's when I fel like I want to beat her a**. Maybe you should leave and make your husband see that your feelings are more important than hers.

Answer 5

Short of murdering her you're going to be out of luck- regardless of whether you leave or not she's always going to be a part of your life because of your son. It sounds like you and your husband need to sit down and talk and then you both need show a united front and talk to her about her interferring ways.

Answer 6

first off, your the one who needs to go, you and your husband need to grow up and get out of her house. She can act how she wants in her own house and the fact that she tells you how to raise your child is probably good since you and your husband dont know enough to get your own place. Grow up, both of you get jobs and support your family....

Answer 7

Sweetheart, You need to tell your husband to stick up for you if not your leaving w/the baby!

Answer 8

did you tell him how you feel? did you tell her? she just is upset for you taking her baby away. don't believe her, and if you need to, leave. you'll see his true colors.