My has a colostmy, but shes staying in a shelter cause noone is willin to help her,cause shes ripped em all off including myself. My problem is that my boyfriend and i are going out of town. But he wont let her stay in the house while were gone. And also wont get her a motel room at least. I cant cause my funds are tied up. What should i do. Leave or stay with her and just stick it out til he gets back and risk losing my relationship of 2.5 years or just leave im torn. even though she has ****** us both 10 times over,i cant decide please help.
2006-12-18 12:09:48 · 30 answers · asked by highwaypimp 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Your bf sounds controlling. He's making you choose between him and your mom? Blood is thicker than water....if he's going to be your husband one day then your mother will be his family. Is this how he treats family and values family relationships??
2006-12-18 12:12:55 · answer #1 · answered by Kylie 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Wow you're in a tight spot. I would think it depends on how severe the tye's are with your mother. Obviously she hasnt "f'd" you over that much if you are still in her life or aware of what she is doing. If you're harboring this much guilt over thinking she shouldnt be in a shelter, than maybe she shouldnt. I wouldnt want to risk a relationship either but there has got to be a way you can help your mother without having to risk your 2.5 year relationship.
In the end, I think you should take care of your mother unless you decide that writing her off due to her past history is best. Otherwise, I say find another relationship but u can never replace a mother-no matter how crappy she's been to you. Good Luck and Happy Holidays.
2006-12-18 20:20:10 · answer #2 · answered by VolleyVixen75 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well I would never let my mom stay in a shelter or a home because my mom means the world to me and I think your being really mean to her. Your choosing your boyfriend over her? Well that is wrong. Just because she's messed up doesn't mean you have to be mean to her and do it to her. If your a nice person you would let your mother stay at your house and risk losing your boyfriend. If he cared about you at all he'd respect your choice and not leave you. Your mother went through labor to have you and it would be wrong for you to treat her like dirt.
2006-12-18 20:14:49 · answer #3 · answered by Irish Girl 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Ask yourself what difference it would make.. if u let her stay in your house, is she likely to appreciate it and not f*ck u over again? Your answer is probably no. If u leave her where she is, she'll still be the same when u come back, almost certainly. Unless she knows u r going and gets in to ur place without ur consent. Anyway there's some people who just don't help themselves, and if they don't, then no one else can really help them either.
2006-12-18 20:15:15 · answer #4 · answered by zimba 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's possible to help your mother without giving her money in her hand.
It sounds like your mother has problems and you should "untie" your funds and get her a place to stay at least for the holidays.
How will you feel about you and your "wonderful" boyfriend if something happens to her or someone hurts her.
2006-12-18 20:14:43 · answer #5 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First let me apologize for laughing hysterically at the question. After I read it, I realized it's quite serious however comical. Can a relative watch her? Can you and your BF put remove the valuables and leave her at home if someone follows up with her? The shelter just sucks! A neighbors house?
2006-12-18 20:16:39 · answer #6 · answered by kim_mii 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
When it comes to family, I've decided that I will have no regrets. When my parents pass away, I know that I always treated them with respect in every situation. On that note, I feel you should stay with her. Take care of your family first; after all she took the time to raise you. Maybe I'm old school at 26 y.o., but your boyfriend should understand that you have to take care of your family no matter what.
2006-12-18 20:21:15 · answer #7 · answered by Dominique A 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If your mom is a thief, you can't leave her in your home unsupervised. She caused the situation, you didn't. Just make sure she's taken care of (if she allows this). You don't have to put yourself at risk.
2006-12-18 20:52:18 · answer #8 · answered by The First Dragon 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
boyfriends come and go but mothers are forever. one day you will wake up and your mother will be gone! are you wiling to take the chance of never being able to tell her that you love her again? leave the boyfriend and stay with your mom
2006-12-18 21:56:15 · answer #9 · answered by angeleyes3535 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl, You seem like a logical thinker, so use your best judgment. Like, what makes you think if she messed you over 10 times this time will be any different?
Look, I am one that always says, family is family and everyone should be there for them and vise verse.But there is exceptions to the rule and I think yours is.
Its o-k to still want to love your mom and want to help her, but sometimes in life we cant keep beating a dead horse.Sounds to me like your mom has major issues that are much more than her physical ones.She needs to learn the value of trust and being trusted.Maybe after a long time of realizing that no one wants to help her because of how she has treated them she will change her ways, but for now I think its in your best interest to not help her.Shelters are there for those in need, so its not like she will starve or anything.
Just love her in your heart and pray to god for her safety and ask him to help her see the errors of her ways.This is a job for him and her together, not her child.
God bless you and go live your life without her burden. It was her choice to mess up. not your cross to bare.
2006-12-18 20:19:06 · answer #10 · answered by vmaxer85 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
What's the matter with you???!!!!!! Who on EARTH would leave their mother in a shelter??? Your boyfriend AND you are without hearts. I hope someone helps her....someone with kindness. You may be reported to the authorities. Get your head on straight.
The more I think about this,....you are just kidding around,aren't you???? This is a joke.
2006-12-18 20:13:08 · answer #11 · answered by I am Sunshine 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋