What do you do when a family member's child hits your child?

Question

My cousin's son, and my brother's son both have problems sharing their toys. Both of them are 3 as is my daughter. My daughter generally doesn't have a problem sharing her toys with them, however, they become aggressive when she has a toy, whether hers or not, that they want to play with. My cousin's 3 yr old cusses and swears at my 3 yr old and my brother's kid likes to kick and hit to get the toy he wants. How the heck am I supposed to help her with sharing when these kids do this? Short of just banning her from playing with them all together. My daughter has not hit back and just comes to tell me when one of them has hit her. Neither of the parents of these kids make them apologize and discipline them. Do I step in and make sure the kid is punished? Someone please help.

Answer 1

I'd speak in a firm tone to the children. (sometimes this is all it takes from someone other than mom or dad) and explain to them what they did was wrong, why it was wrong, and how to handle the situation better next time.

Also, don't ban your child from being around bad children, you can't sheild her forever, just speak with her about how their behavior was wrong and use the opportunity to praise your daughter for her good behavior!

Answer 2

I would step in but not to punish. But I would let my child see me correcting the other children. If they swear at her to get what they want then I would inform the child that it is the rule in your house not to say bad words and make the child apologize. If they hit or kick I would tell them no and remove them away from your child. I see nothing wrong with taking the child to the parent and telling them the rules of your house are no hitting and no swearing and to please explain these rules to their kids. I certainly wouldn't let them get any toys if they act like this and only if they ask nicely do they get to play with the toys. Sometimes it takes a village to raise a child.

Answer 3

I think you need stop letting your child play with these kids and let the parents know why. I think it would be a bad idea to parent others kids when they think what their kids are doing is fine and/or normal. At that age (3) with you being the parent, you need to stand up to the other parents and their children's actions. If there is to be change it needs to start with the parents. Also if you continue to let your child play in these types of situations may teach her that this is acceptable. I'm sure you wouldn't like to get that call from the school telling you to come pick her up do to her not being able to play with others. Not only time consuming but embarrassing.

Just my $0.02. Good luck with your choice.

Answer 4

This is a problem that you adults need to work out. The parents of the aggressive children need to stop this behavior before the kid is old enough to go to school. If you wait until your child is hurt, that is something you will regret. And your child is learning bad habits as well.

I would tell the parents that their kids aren't welcome to play with yours until they learn social skills: tell them that you think your child is not only picking up bad habits, but is also in danger of being hurt. And then let the parents take it from there.

Answer 5

Being a teacher, I will call the parents in for a meeting and talk to them if their child does this. I think that you need to do the same thing. The parents need to show responsibility for the raising of their children, including behavior. My cousin's son also did that, so his mother punished him immediately. This will not only teach the child that he did something wrong, it will also teach the others that this behavior is wrong.

Answer 6

First u have to make sure it happen.Then I would tell all of them that if u do so and so u will have time alone to think about what u did. I would keep a close eye on them after u tell them that.Try to sneek a peek.Kids get really involed and they don't see a parent. Then when u see it happen then put him in a corner somewhere and make him stay there.Good luck

Answer 7

Short of just banning her from playing with them all together.

you answered your own question. If you get up and spank their children they will be angry or think its all right to spank your daughter. If they can not oversee that their children play fair and discipline them. Then make sure they are never together. I moved 1200 miles away from my husbands relitives for the same reason. Had no problem after that.

Answer 8

Yes. Tell your relatives that their children are not welcome in your home unless they learn to coexist with other children. If the parents are right there and they do not do anything, tell them it is time for them to leave. If the parents are gone and their children are left alone at your home, sit those undiciplined monsters on your front porch until their parents get there to pick them up. Lock the door and tell them if they beat on it you are going to call the police.

Answer 9

When this happens, remove your daughter (with the toy!) to a safe place, your lap, at your feet, etc. I would probably tell the other child "no" or "stop", but it is not your place to punish.

Answer 10

I'd share how you feel with their parents and if they don't respect your wishes and/or take care of the situation I'd ban their sons from playing with your daughter.