i've been seeing this really nice guy (he's such a sweetheart) for only about 3 weeks. He's 16 and i'm 15, he went throught depression when his grandfather died of a heart attack. He started cutting himself when it happened but has stopped now, he also used to smoke and do pot. i try to get him to talk about it but he never will, he said i wouldnt understand and then i get all upset about it and tell him to go away. i recently have been going through drepression and a few years ago loss an uncle who i was really close to and he knows that. so how come he thinks i wouldn't understand? also i found out that last night he was smoking pot at my friends place which i dont want him to do. i'm worried but i dont wanna nag him about it wat can i do??
2006-12-18 11:38:16 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
best thing to do is say that you wont judge him in anyway if he opens upto you, tell him he can tell you anything and that he can cry to you if need be, this is what Laura has told me and this morning I opened up on an issue and she just said "I didn't realise how you or anyone else felt, I just go without thinking about the ones I love" as she goes and sorts other peoples fights out when she should be worrying about me and her family, not everyone elses issues........she understands I dont like it and she said she'll stop now as she now knows how I feel on the issue..
anyway if you say he can tell you anything at any time, you wont judge him at all and let him cry to you if he needs/wants to that might help, the only reason I say that is it helps me open up knowing that I wont ever be judged for voicing my opinions on things that happen.
I wish you the best of luck on this and a good christmas
hope I have been of some help to you, if you have any other issues feel free to send me an email.
cheers
Mitch
2006-12-18 11:49:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be there for him. Don't nag him cause the more you SHOW that you care for him he will open up. See some guys think they open up to a girl there not masculine anymore so when the time is right he will open up. As far as the smoking pot goes you have to let him know that smoking pot will only let the pain go away for a little while and that hes going to end up killing himself and just tell him that your there to help and support him. Just try to sit down with him and have a nice once in a while. He will open up one day just be patience
2006-12-18 11:44:03 · answer #2 · answered by drummerboy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's reaching out for attention. Cutting is hardly ever a suicidal attempt or even an indicator. People cut themselves for attention from others. In a situation like that, the attention he is missing is likely not from you, so all you can do is stand by him... but don't expect him to stop.
He honestly may just not be what you're looking for right now, but that's your decision.
He probably will eventually stop cutting and smoking, but it's something he's going to have to "grow out" of.
2006-12-18 11:45:02 · answer #3 · answered by Revenant 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Help him?? Please be as smart and mature as you want your parents to believe you are, it is not your job to "fix" anyone, if grown 50 year old women can't do it what makes you think you can? The only thing anyone can do is listen and if he doesn't want to talk about it, then if you insist on continuing this relationship, take him to church, take him around the most positive, legally fun people you know, stay busy and when he feels he is ready maybe he will share his feelings.
2006-12-18 12:00:51 · answer #4 · answered by mamadana 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just tell him how u feel. even if he says u dont understand, keep on trying. try and get him to spend more time with u or his family. if he starts talking just listen until he's finshed. then give some in put. good luck to u and him and happy holidays
2006-12-18 11:43:05 · answer #5 · answered by Joho 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People will do what they want to do or need to do. Your friend has some serious issues nd needs therapy or professional help. Leave him alone and accept who he is.
2006-12-18 11:42:58 · answer #6 · answered by darrellkern 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you just have to let him open up to you on the subject.
and if the dude is a big pot head, he's not worth it. that stuff is nasty.
2006-12-18 11:40:55 · answer #7 · answered by KemPer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump him. You don't need to get into trouble and you don't need that bs. Get a new and better man.
2006-12-18 11:43:55 · answer #8 · answered by hottierecy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should reach for help cause it will ruin both your lives...
2006-12-18 11:41:18 · answer #9 · answered by Promise 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋