is daycare bad for children?

Question

my 2 yearold twin boys Cody and Collin came home from D-care and started to fight and cus at me!It got to a point today near 12:00 I had to put my twins in a diffrent room as each other so they would stop hitting each other what should I do!

Answer 1

boys fight - period

if they don't physically act it out, they still think about it

if there is someone to spar against, they'll fight with them

just like puppies, lions, wolves, bears, etc...

now, about the cursing, yes, they learn it from somewhere, and it IS possible it's from daycare, but honestly, kids mostly remember things that affect people that are important to them.

if you make a big deal out of it, they'll remember that, and it amuses them to see you angry

if you don't pay attention, they'll actually stop using the word[s]

things that strangers say usually aren't remembered unless the children see a direct physical affect on someone they know and love
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as for daycare in general, it is a great idea. sure, your kids have each other to play with, but we're in a day and age where it seems that people, as a whole, are becoming more socially isolated. that is, so many more people are keeping to themselves than just twenty, thirty years ago.
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when they fight with you, they need to know that you're the boss - never give up!

Answer 2

Daycare in and of itself is not bad for children. I think many children benefit from the interaction. They get to play with their peers and they often learn while there. I think it has the potential to be a bad thing for children when they are left in daycare for 8-12 hours a day 5 or more days a week. That is extreme in my opinion but has become the norm. Children spend little time with their actual parents and I think that does take its toll. I used to work in daycare and many of the kids in my care were there for 12 hours. Then their parents would turn around and hire sitters for the weekend so they could go and do their own thing without the kids. When are these kids getting any time with their parents? The bigger question in my mind was always, "why did these people have kids?"

But you say your kids are 2 and that probably has more to do with their behavior than anything. Two is a tough age. My oldest was an angel at two but my youngest--who is now 3--was a challenge and he still is. This is the age they are testing the waters. They are wanting to be independent. Kids are very selfish a that age and it is normal. You just have to teach them it isn't okay to be that way.

What should you do? Discipline them. Talk to them. They're only two but you can still talk to them. They may not understand all that you say but they know more than most people give them credit for. Tell them it is not okay to swear and hit. Implement a consequence. At their age that would be a time out. Also use redirection. Be consistent and don't give in.

Good luck!

Answer 3

Daycare unfortunately for a lot of people is the only answer. I work in a daycare, in the toddler room (2's) where I'm lead teacher and my son who is 20 months old goes there and is in the room with me. On a daily basis we have about 8-12 kids. Kids generally learn a lot in daycare, some bad some good. We learn the ABC's and color's. On the downside if one kid does something bad, hitting, biting, throwing a toy, all the other 10 kids see it happen. All a child has to see is something happen once for them to mimic it.
Also, children tend to feed off each other. If one child is having a particularly aggressive day, alot of the other kids will have aggressive behavior that day.
I love the fact that my child goes to daycare where I know he is learning so much, some of the things I mentioned earlier, plus he learns how to play with other children and to share. I also know that he is going to learn some bad habits. At home you just have to reinforce good habits, and correct the bad things you see happening. Even 2 year old's needs consequences. They need to learn early that you will not tolerate certain behavior. I hope this helps, I have seen some kids come through the daycare who's parents let them get away with everything and let me tell you, as they get older it does not get easier, it gets harder.

Answer 4

I would explore what is going on at the daycare and if their answer doesn't make sense to you I would suggest looking for a new daycare. Some daycare workers are worse then the kids themselves and set a very poor example. Really look at this hard the example that your boys are seeing could also be from the other children but in either case if the teachers fail to correct it they are still doing your boys an injustice.

Answer 5

I see several problems here. First is where are they learning the language to cuss? If it's daycare, that would be a huge issue for me. Twins fighting I think is fairly normal, judging from my nephews who are twins and 5 years old. I might look into a preschool instead of daycare so that their energy can be directed in a more structured environment. Good luck!

Answer 6

No, daycare is not bad for a child. You have to be very carefull with who you leave your child with. Make sure the place you are taking your child has updated records (background checks on employees, TB test, CPR training, education) With the case you are in I would be talking to the main childcare provider for your child and see who your children are playing with and where they are hearing that language! Whoa I wouldn't be happy and try to figure out what is going on. Even try to come in and see what's going on. Any childcare program should welcome parents at all times. If your children did not act like this at home then the program has a flaw and talk to other parents if you can, see if they have ever had a problem. Children can act different the first couple of weeks till they get used to the program but hitting and swearing is a little far!

Answer 7

The things kids learn at daycare are not always the best. Kids really need to be home with their moms during the day so that they can learn from her. If that's not possible then I would sugest having them stay with a friend or relative during the day. This way you know what they are learning and who they are learning from. Boys will be boys though. You can't stop that so make sure to dicipline for the bad behavior and reward them for the good.

Answer 8

Cassandra give me a break! Your holier than thou attitude towards working moms, gives other stay at home moms a bad name.

My son was in daycare until he started school, and he is the most sensitive and least aggresive child I know. He is not perfect, as is no child, but he isn't the kind of child that you are suggesting that daycares produce.

It all comes down to the individual daycare that a child is in. If you put your child in a daycare, either private or public, that has a home like environment, then there is no reason to believe that they will turn out aggresive, as you are suggesting.

I, personally, do not care for most public daycares, just simply because if I have to be away from my children, because I have to work to provide for them, then the next best thing to being with me, is being in a private home. I did have to use public daycare for my son for a couple of years, however I have had my daughter in a private home daycare, and she is a very loving, smart child. The woman who watches her is like a grandma, and my daughter actually calls this woman "MiMi".

I don't think this womans kids are fighting as a result of them being in daycare, unless they are in one of the "bad" daycares. It is more likely that they are just being normal 2 year olds, who are probably just sick of each other, which I would figure would be perfectly normal for twins at this age.

You are so judgemental against working moms, and you know the saying about not judging till you have walked a mile in someones shoes? You should really think about the meaning of that comment.

Working or SAHM's, they both love their kids just as much as the other, and neither is any better than the other one.

Answer 9

Not all daycares are the same. Check in on them to find out if this behavior is coming from the daycare or somewhere else.
I had the same problem from my child at that age. It was not related to the daycare. She was checking boundaries to see how far she could push me.

Answer 10

Daycare is HORRIBLE for children! In order to bond properly and grow up emotionally stable, a small child must spend the vast majority of his time with his one true, permanent mama, whom God has ordained to daily pour knowledge and love into that little life. Who are your kids gonna bond with? Who are they learning from? They learn by example, but who's? Yours or some mean teacher or other kids that come from broken homes? Your child's future is in your hands now... decide what's more important.