My huabsnd adopted his daughter after she was born. The mom and dad got married. Shortly after her brother was born. The mom left him and the kids behind and didn't look back. He stayed around when the real dad or mom wouldn't. He was with this little girl through leg braces, teeth braces,Diapering,the whole nine yards til june 2006.Now the daughter doesn't want to have anything to do with my husband.
2006-12-18 11:22:18 · 20 answers · asked by ? 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
It's her loss...though it's tough on your husband...he deserves a Father of the Century award in my opinion. So many dads don't even do that much for their "real" kids. It's too bad that she cant see that in all ways that matter your husband is her dad, but even better because she was CHOSEN not born to him.
2006-12-18 11:26:54 · answer #1 · answered by Andrea H 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am adopted - I can honestly tell you that I have more respect for my adopted parents BECAUSE they adopted me. They CHOSE to have me as their daughter - and went through all of the hard stuff any parent would have to. BUT I was always given the chance to locate my birth parents at any time that I would have wanted. It was never a hidden issue with my parents- it was just my choice not to pursue it. They were always willing to give any information they had in order to help me understand the whole thing.
Each and every situation is different and each child needs to be able to explore all of the options laid in front of them. I dont really think it is a truly bad/personal thing if she is rebelling toward your husband right now - it may just be a stage and her not being able to comprehend all of it. It isnt an always easy thing to understand why someone would give up a child - ESPECIALLY when you are the child that was given up. From the child's viewpoint: There are times it is completely confusing and hard to balance your feelings toward all of the parties involved.
I am sure it is bothering your husband - but remind him that he has done the right thing. Letting the child explore the situation - whatever way they want to is going to be the best thing for everyone in the long run. Keeping an open mind and heart will be what the child remembers - and eventually will respond as openly as your husband did when he adopted her.
From and adopted child - Let him know He is appreciated for doing all that he has done.
Happy holidays.
2006-12-18 19:40:46 · answer #2 · answered by litlbigdg 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well shes just having a hard time dealing with all this. You never mentioned If this girl was just told she was adopted or have she known? Give her some time to collect her feelings and she might want to contact her parents which Isn't a bad Idea but you guys need to be there till the end absolutely. Let her know that you will help her If she wants. Right now theres a hole and she needs to fill It and all this time you need to be right there for her so she can see In the end you two were always there for her. good luck to you!!
2006-12-18 19:31:06 · answer #3 · answered by passion 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is very sad. The man who did everything for her and she does this to him is sad. Instead of placing the blame on the two people who left her, she is directing the blame at your husband. You should sit her behind down and remind her that it takes a real man to take care of another man's child. And, if it wasnot for him, HER A-SS would have been in the custody of the state. Your husband could have kept his son, and then called the Child Welfare services and told them that he is not the child's father and the real parents bailed. Really. She is acting like a spoil brat. Personally, I would do that. I would tell her this and also remind her to go look for her real parents and see if they are going to continue giving her the support and love further down the road-with no strings attached.
I wish I had a dad; I never did. Uncles, yes. But, they all had kids of their own and felt "pity" for me. I would tell your husband to embrace his son and let her deal with her problem alone.
2006-12-18 20:28:09 · answer #4 · answered by uchaboo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that nothing should change because a father is not the one who makes one, but the one who takes care of the child and loves them no matter what. If a change does take place, it should be for the good of all. After all, the girl must feel lucky to have a father like that. He may not be her biological father but in spite of everything, he is the father. He has been there for her at all times and has loved her no matter what. I admire him for being one of the few fathers that actually deserve to be called a man.
2006-12-18 19:50:32 · answer #5 · answered by queen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Family are the people that stick by you in life. There are biological parents out there who beat and murder their children- they aren't considered "parents". The ones who are there for you, no matter what, are the parents. His daughter needs to understand that. I'm sure she will once she goes out into the real world- I'm sure she'll be back. Best of luck-- :-)
2006-12-18 19:26:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think shes going through a tough time right now and probably resents your husband a little for not telling her and not being her real dad. its a lot to deal with and im sure its hard on her and your husband. just keep in mind they both need a lot of support and im sure you and your husband are there for her but make sure she knows that and knows that you still love her and are there anytime she needs you
2006-12-18 19:53:14 · answer #7 · answered by kd baby 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if your husband is the only father she's know, she might just be curious about the rest of her 'family'. it might take some soul searching, she'll need space to think about everything. she might be angry, or feel abandoned and hurt. Your husband should continue to be supportive; write to her, call and check up on her, wish her well. She'll come back, and appreciate him as her Dad.
2006-12-18 19:27:48 · answer #8 · answered by Jenna 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You signed up for Yahoo answers today to ask one emotional driven question????? She should have been told she was adopted. She was going to find out sooner or latter when she saw her birth certificate. She has a right to be upset. She will be back, where else does she have to go?
2006-12-18 19:27:25 · answer #9 · answered by lily 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She'll come bakc. She's just in shock... She probably feels like she's been lied to her whole life and can't trust anyone. Jus give her some more time to think about it and be alone. If it seems like it's taking too long I'd have one of her closest friends talk to her.
2006-12-18 19:25:45 · answer #10 · answered by studmuffin00030 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋