I believe my mother has a mental problem. She needs help, but who should I tell?

Question

Everyone's mom is a little crazy, but I'm pretty sure mine has something diagnosable. I'm not here because I want to diagnose it myself, but because I don't know who to tell.

I'm sixteen years old, and I live with my fifty year old mother. She has said and done things that truly, truly scare me. I'm sure that someone could help her through medication or therapy or something, but I don't know how to go about getting her this help. She's an adult, and I'm still a child... How am I supposed to tell her that she should seek professional help? She won't even admit to having sleep apnea. Is it even possible to get an adult help against their will?

Netbug, when my sister approached my mother about the possibility of her having sleep apnea, my mother flipped out. She doesn't want to see fault within herself. The only thing talking to her about this would do is result in a fight, and lasting problems over her knowing I think she has a mental problem.

Kate, I don't have a personal or family doctor to go to. My father doesn't take me to see a doctor unless I first explain to him what's ailing me, and my mother never takes me. Since the doctors that I see are usually going from one patient to the next as fast as they can, I don't think they'd appreciate me bringing them problems that aren't mine directly.

I'm not very close to any of my non-immediate family. I don't have any numbers or anything. Plus, none of them live in the same state. I don't think there's anything they could do.

I've considered talking to her Church about it, but I'm afraid my mother would never forgive me. She goes through a lot of work to portray a perfect Christian family and life. If they were to find out about something like a mental problem, I'm sure my mom would have some kind of a break down. Her life revolves around her faith and the way other Christians view her.

I'm homeschooled, so I don't have any kind of school guidance person to go to.

A doctor once feared that I was depressed, and at the time I was, and told my parents that I needed therapy. My mom ignored her. She would never go to counseling with me.

I'm starting to worry that there isn't a solution.

My mother also thinks that any "negative" view that I have of her was pushed onto me by my father. They're divorced, and she's convinced that he's set out to turn me against her. It's possible that if I were to bring any of this up with her she'd brush it off as my dad speaking.

zkiwi2004, perhaps you should read my story again. I never said that sleep apnea is a mental problem, and I am perfectly aware what it is. My mother is constantly stressed, and for as long as I can remember she has had long pausing in her breathing while she was sleeping. Thank you.

Also, I have approached my mother with many, many things - many of which were not in a harsh manner. She takes everything as a personal attack. Her sleep apnea has only been brought up once, and never again. You shouldn't be so presumptuous.

And you're mistaken to think that mental problems have to have existed all of a person's life. But if you must know my mother has always displayed the behavior that is worrying me. Do you even know what you're talking about?

Sarah, I was only using my mother's sleep apnea as an example of her unwillingness to admit fault. I mentioned it because I know that if I tried to talk to my mother about the possibility of a mental problem, something far more serious then a sleeping disorder, she would be much more angry then she was when my sister brought up sleep apnea. Of course there is something else going on, but I'm not here because I want strangers on the internet trying to diagnose my mother and so I find it unnessisary to go into detail about it. All I'm asking for is a number, like what suebob was kind enough to provide, or something like a website, etc.

Answer 1

If you go to church or a temple of some sort, you could always ask for help from a church leader. If not, however, you can talk to your school counselor for help. There is also a National Hopeline for kids to call where they can get advice on how to deal with all kinds of situations. They may even be able to hook you up with someone in your location. Try calling 1-800-784-2433.

Best of Luck!

Answer 2

First of all, sleep apnea is not a mental problem, it is a medical one. Sleep apnea is when a person will occasionally stop breathing when they sleep. In most people is it brought on by stress and goes away over time. In only a few instances, the condition becomes.

Second of all, if you are concerned about your mom "flipping out" you may be addressing the problem to her in a way that makes her defensive. She may be flipping out because she doesn't have sleep apnea and shes tired of you bringing it up.

If you truly believe there is a mental problem, it wouldn't have just come up. It would be something that you have seen all your life.
If you do feel the need, talk to a teacher or the nurse at school. many times talking to another adult can help you figure out what the problem - if there is a problem - and what you can do about it.

Answer 3

Sleep apnea is when breathing stops briefly while you are sleeping. It seems like there must be something else going on as well if you are worried that she's "crazy". Is your mom doing things other than that that concern you? What are the scary behaviors? There is probably a mental health helpline in your town that can help you. Sometimes you can just dial 3-1-1 on any phone and it will go directly to the local help line. If not, check your phone book. They may be able to recommend some resources, either for your mom or to help you deal with your mom. If you decide to talk to her, try being specific about your feelings, concerns for her and yourself, and the behaviors that seem out of ordinary. If you are calm and non-accusatory, she'll be less likely to be defensive. Good Luck. She's lucky to have you to be concerned about her...

Answer 4

For 16 yrs old, I am pretty impressed with you. I have read your question twice and I'm stumped. No school counselor or doctor doesn't help. If there a fears of her hurting herself or you, you could always call the police, however I don't think that's the case and I don't think you would want to anyway. I myself have sleep apnea, serious condition,..or can be. I am so sorry, I am at a lose as to help you. Let me know if you would like someone to talk to.

Answer 5

' First try explaining your concerns to your mom ,I know easier said than done right but that's the best way to start . Hearing Her child tell her that she thinks she mentally ill wont be easy for her to hear but if she sees you are truly worried she may get checked out. IF she doesn't involve the help of a Grand parent or other family member Y'all can have her committed against her will only if she is a threat to her self or to others so seek help l My dad is a schizaphrinic so I feell for y0ou good luck

Answer 6

I can relate because my mother had a nervous breakdown when I was about 11 or 12 years old. Do you have any family members you could talk to? My grandmother and some aunts had to intervene. My dad was there too. It has to be rough and I understand what you feel like. I'm sorry you have to go through it and feel alone.

Answer 7

First you could talk to your guidance counselor, or a teacher, friends parents, your minister Rabi or some one like that. If she is doing some thing that scares you then call the police. Explain whats been going on. they may take her to jail or a mental hospital. Either way she will be observed and a diagnosis will be made.

Answer 8

No, she has to feel like she has a problem to ever get help for her problem. If it's something like Bipolar disorder she might not ever admit it. If yall are having probs in ur relationship suggest going to counseling TOGETHER. The the counselor could pinpoint and possibly help her with her problem.
I understand what youre dealing with...it sucks..but my mom and I went to counseling not too long ago and it seemed to help.
You should let her know how you feel and that you're concerned for her.
Good Luck

Answer 9

think of you have assessed the situation tremendously accurately. you at the instant are not paranoid. Your mom has some severe problems and has been working them out by way of you and your brothers for an prolonged time now. Is it psychological abuse? It sounds like it relatively is a minimum of emotional abuse at situations. It for sure has affected you and your brothers or you will not have written. i would not get caught in the catch of questioning that your a bad guy or woman or evil or something like that. you at the instant are not evil or a bad guy or woman. you in all probability sense adverse often times and depressed, even nonetheless it is not your fault. you have been starting to be up decrease than complicated circumstances with a mom who has problems. it is not your activity to look after her. you do no longer ought to guard her and take the blame for stuff tell those which you're undesirable. it is not your fault. She desires to get help someplace. you need to in all probability use some help your self. perhaps you will see that your training counselor in college and notice in case you may get a referral to a counselor on the outdoors. it would help you to get some attitude on your concern at abode. for the duration of those situations whilst your mom seems to have much less administration or is extra disillusioned, it relatively is a physically powerful theory to stay removed from her. extra useful nonetheless, are not getting into something along with her no rely how offended you're along with her. Take the severe street, forget approximately any provocations. do in simple terms what you're meant to do. even nonetheless, if there is any abuse of you or your brothers on the area of your mom or anybody else, . while you're in possibility, call 911. the main mandatory ingredient to do is settle for that oftentimes human beings go incorrect and that may not your fault. grow to be reliable as a guy or woman, understand your mom has problems. in simple terms think of, in a scientific institution for those with psychatric themes, each and every guy or woman there has a mom or a daughter, or a son, father, sister, brother, its in simple terms gonna be. you have a confirm with problems. yet do no longer lead them to yours. handle them as terrific as you are able to yet in spite of you do, don't sense to blame, you will, yet do no longer, get on consisting of your life, in spite of it takes and in spite of if it means pushing your self removed from that area it your life, nicely, darling, its your life, you weren't born to have tears, you have been born to stay. Be reliable and stay. it is your life.

Answer 10

don`t take this the wrong way but go to a doctor or someone and tell them that she is mentaly ill! i had the same problem with my mom and now she doesn`t remember me!