Do you think children...?

Question

Do you think once a child learns that Santa Claus doesn't exist that they lose part of that childhood innocence? I can remember when I found Santa didn't exist I also immediately asked about the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny too and in turn found out it was all made up. I can remember the let down of feeling like my parent's had lied to me. However, while I understand the true meaning of Christmas, I have made sure to maintain that childish love for the make believe of it all with Santa Claus and still carry that magic onto my children ( 5 and 3 ). I will never lose my childhood ways to Santa as I think it helps adults feel like a child again believing in the magic of it all. As a parent, I realize a day will come when my children learn the truth as well...but does that mean they have to stop believing in the magic and lose part of the innocence that makes childhood a childhood?

Let me explain that our children have not yet asked about Santa...when they do, they will be told the truth. I do agree that continuing the myth is not the way to go. I will not however take it away from them now while they still believe it in all.

Answer 1

I have gone through this twice with two older daughters, and still have a 7 year old who passionately believes in Santa, the Tooth Fairy (she visited last night!), the Easter Bunny (who is a female), and all other magickal creatures.

I grew up in a family where the magic was alive, and I have always believed in this magic myself.

I was not angry, my mother was not "lying"-I am her oldest child, and when I finally caught her, she recruited me into the fun! Then I got to be a "Santa's Elf" for my little brothers, and learned the intricacies of providing beauty and magic for my own children one day.

Growing up in a theatrical family didn't hurt-illusion is part of putting on a wonderful performance, and that doesn't make the actors or the set designers "liars".


For all the years while my elder two daughters were little girls, their father and I ran a toy making business together, and they saw first hand how we literally became Christmas Elves at this time of year-putting delightful gifts under family trees, and sometimes helping parents or grandparents make a secret purchase while their children played with our toys.

Our children have always known that toymakers are Santa's helpers.

And the two elder ones, as they grew, did not get angry at the illusions, but have joined in the fun as we make the most of our little one's delight.

Of course, this only works if you truly believe in Santa and all the rest yourself. I do. The fact that it is me who places the actual presents under the tree does not take away from the spirit that comes over me at this time of year, inspiring me to work so hard, spend so much, and stay up so late on Christmas Eve to make my family's winter season filled with magic and fun. Only something very special can do that. That something special is what I call Santa. I have never regretted the effort, and the kids have never been unhappy that I did.

No innocence is lost, and childhood is preserved for as long as possible. There has been a BIG mistake made in all the developmental writings-while we are meant to gain wisdom and abilities as we mature, we are NOT meant to lose the childhood wonder and joy. If you are Christian (I am no longer, but was raised with that), you know that Jesus said to "be as a little child". It was one of his best statements!

Have fun!

P.S. It's very important to make sure that the Santa paper is different from the family paper, and that you change your handwriting when you write the thank you note for the cookies your little one left out!

Answer 2

When I realized it, I was in the second or third grade(sometime around there; I can't remember exactly when). It was such a letdown for me when I found the store receipts containing most of the items I asked for that year. I noticed that Santa had the same handwriting as my dad when he wrote his thank-you note for the cookies. I felt horrible knowing that my parents lied to me, but I also assured myself that it must have happened to infinite kids before.

I do feel that I lost part of my innocence. But I tried to make I looked like I still believed. My younger sister was about four at the time and I did not want to spoil her Christmas. But, it was clear to my parents that I was no longer buying the Santa story.

You can still have your childhood innocence after you make the realization. After I made the discovery, I was still a eight year old who didn't know the first thing about sex, drugs, alcohol, or any of that.

I might be fourteen now, but that doesn't mean I don't wish I had never found out. I still wish I was six, helping my mom decorate the tree, and hoping to God Santa did not pass up my house.

And anyway, Santa or gift giving is not the true meaning about Christmas. It's about the birth of Jesus Christ. That's what we actually celebrate. After all, it is called CHRISTmas. This is why I learned to get over the fact that Santa was made up.

Answer 3

We had a don't ask, don't tell policy in our house. We never really talked about Santa, but stockings were filled on Christmas morning and presents appeared under the tree. We watched Christmas programs and such but we stayed out of the conversation. My son asked me when he was 5 if Santa was real. And I told him the truth that no he wasn't real but it was really fun to pretend. He told me straight up that he didn't believe me. I told him that was fine he didn't have too. The next Christmas he asked me again, and I again told him the truth. This time he accepted it and had a great time playing the game for his little sister who has since asked the same question, except she believed me the first time. We always downplayed Santa anyway because we are Christians. We do however focus on where the legend of Santa began with a very kind man who did very kind things and that the story was made to honor him. My kids still love Christmas, we have fun with it, we only had the legend of Santa for a little while.

Answer 4

I will NEVER tell my kids there is no Santa. As long as there is a magic in the air at Christmastime, then Santa exists. It's not about the man in Red, it's about a magical time of year. If they ask me if Santa exists at the age of 25, I'll still just say "What do you think?"

My kids are currently 10,8 and 15 months. They question me, and I'm pretty sure the 10 year old has figured it out, but he hasn't spoiled it for his little sisters. Just let it ride....

Answer 5

this is one reason I never even started the santa clause thiing with my kids. I remember the total betrayal I felt when I found out. I explain to my kids that it is a symbol of Christmas that alot of people tend to push a little too hard and then the kids are heartbroken when they find out the truth.

Answer 6

it is also my dilemma. my kid is 4 yo and still we use santa as a reminder for him not to be naughty or else he wont get any presents. i dont know when i will tell him the truth and how. and i know ill hurt his feelings.

but i just cant take it away (story about santa) because its part of childhood right? but i have known kids who does not believe about santa because their parents doesnt say so. sometimes i feel sorry for them.

im sorry, i didnt answer the question. thanks anyways for letting me share my concern. ill watch out for the replies.

Answer 7

For every "part of childhood" that they loose there will always be something else that makes their childhood a childhood. They don't become adults the day they find out the truth about Santa.

Answer 8

Do you really want to start off a relationship with your Kids with a lie, better tell the truth. Your Kids will see enouhg lies as the get older in the World! I too beleived in Santa once, I know that my Parents gave into commercialism.

Answer 9

You are doing the same thing to your kids that your parents did to you. They might feel betrayed as you did.
My parents did tell me about santa and one year when I was about 5 or 6, I asked my mom why santa uses the same wrapping paper as her. She didn't have a really good answer, and instead of feeling betrayed or lied to, I felt that my mom was insulting my intelligence. How could she think I wouldn't notice?
I got over it, but I would never ever lie to my kids. There is no need to. Innocence is not believing in some magical creature. Innocence is feelilng safe and free to be yourself.

Answer 10

they lose the magical side to their childhood, dont think they lose their innocences.

my eldest belived in santa till he was 11 and my 10 year old still does, and i can tell you they are far from innocent!