I love my boyfriend of 2 years beyond words but he is a financial wreck,doesn't plan things beyond the next 10 minutes,can't get himself up in time for anything (including work),rarely has money to pay for things or buy me anything, and has few goals. This is normal for his family so when I get upset about these things it makes me look like a controlling wanna be his mother type. What I love is his personality and being around him. How do I know if he just needs to grow up but will be a great partner in the end, or if he will always be irresponsible and immature and I should just forget it? I don't believe in giving up on relationships without really working on it, but when is enough enough?
2006-12-18 10:33:32 · 6 answers · asked by gmug9 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Sit down with him in a non-confrontational manner. Propose you be the fiduciary (money person) in the relationship. In addition, he has to be open, forthcoming and honest about his spending with you in order for you to handle this responsibility efficiently. This is the term for which you will stay in the relationship. Now, if he agrees you have to be wise enough to keep yourself from controlling the situation or belittling him thus making him feel less of a person, in addition, you also have to keep him informed of what is going on with the money whether he is paying attention or not. If he shows interest, then teach him like someone taught you. If he is not willing to participate in this, then it is time for you two to become friends rather than life partners. If you see the signs now and do nothing, it will only get worse down the road. But try this and watch the signs, if he falters even one time, cut your losses and move on........
2006-12-18 10:52:38 · answer #1 · answered by hope_713 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your first sentence: Did you even read it?
He will always be a lazy slug but you liked it for 2 years!
Give up if you want someone better and get a go getter.
Long ago I quit seeing guys who were poor or cheap or lazy.
I can't stand that and don't want that in my life.
I did have one male FRIEND who was so funny, but he still owned his own good business, he was just cheap, so I kept him as a friend.
What you are describing I would not want even as a friend.
I don't want negative people like this anywhere around me.
Ask yourself why you feel this is all you deserve in life?????
2006-12-18 18:36:43 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you value stability and planning?
Does he treat you with respect?
Do you feel good when you are with him?
Would he make a good business partner?
It's not about the money, it's about the carelessness. It seems like you are done. He is not going to change and if these things are important to you... You know your answer, sometimes walking away is the bravest thing you can do.
2006-12-18 18:38:10 · answer #3 · answered by anirbas 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can relate to lazy people (my dad is the king of that kingdom). I think the question should be how do you handle it rather then try to change him.
It's frustrating when a person has no goals, ambition or lacks taking action. If his family is the same way, you feel they can't relate to you. You have to realize that you are not going to change him. You need to decide whether to be with him or not.
Best of luck to you!!!
2006-12-18 18:43:56 · answer #4 · answered by JAD 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him go. He's not as financially responsible as you. It seems as though he is dragging you down with him. You deserve better. This relationship seems very one-sided.
2006-12-18 18:37:57 · answer #5 · answered by Jo K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when you think you got the right guy
2006-12-18 18:36:22 · answer #6 · answered by blacksabbath200000 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋