A close friend of mine hasn't been himself for a very long time. We have talked about it and he admits that he is depressed, but he dosen't want help and he dosen't want to help him self. But I am worried about him, and I don't know what to do for him. I am also worried that if I spend to much time with him some of his feelings will rub off on me. How can I help someone like this, and not run the risk of getting to hurt.
2006-12-18 10:11:39 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
He is the only one who can help himself. If he is unwilling to do so, then he is gaining something from acting depressed, like maybe your sympathy? Suggest that unless he is willing to get help for his depression, if he is indeed depressed, then you need to step away and leave him alone. He can indeed bring you down if you let him. You cannot help him, for true depression it takes a medical professional.
2006-12-18 10:15:05 · answer #1 · answered by essentiallysolo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you're both really close then you shouldn't even show signs that you're changing your attitude towards him, because that might depress him more. Make it a priority to spend more time with him (of course don't obsess as if you're his caregiver) and always be cheerful. No matter what he says about something, counter it by saying something happy about it.
You need to send him stuff so that when he's not there he's thinking about you like a funny card or even a stupid e-mail forward. Watch a funny movie with him or maybe come over to his place with homemade chocolate cookies and watch The Office with him cozily on his sofa. Make sure he knows that you truly care (don't pretend).
The problem with depressed people is that they get depressed about the depression itself, and they'll continue in the perpetual spiral because they don't see the point of getting out.
Let's make an analogy. Your depressed friend is like the possessed girl in The Exorcist because he's really not himself according to you. And you're like the priest. You shouldn't give up. You need to keep fighting it, and not let it conquer you. You need to unyieldingly focus on happiness.
If all else fails make a desperate plea that you love him as a friend and he's just not being himself. Say that you want to be around him no matter what (in order to counter his fear that perhaps you'll leave him if he doesn't change) but you just really miss the old him. Tell him to be happy for your sake because you'll always be there for him. That's what camaraderie is all about, and remind him that there's NOTHING in life that should put him down like that.
2006-12-18 10:29:23 · answer #2 · answered by Captain Hero 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You cannot help someone who refuses to be helped.
I suffered for years with depression and finally went to a doctor for help. I've been on medication for the past 18 years and am thankful I can awake every day in a good mood. Life is too short to do otherwise.
Try to be supportive, that's all you can do.
2006-12-18 10:15:30 · answer #3 · answered by Juanitaville 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
first you need to find out what is causing his depression, then if its chemical tell him to get some meds, but if its something to do with life, like refection, or loss of a love one, then console him. get him out of the house and put into a different routine. take him on a walk through the mall make fun of people that you see and then talk about the weather and whatever you want to talk about. if you want to be more than friends then you should take it to the next level. that will surely cure him.
2006-12-18 10:18:15 · answer #4 · answered by sweetgirl 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If your friend will not seek professional help, then he doesn't want to change. And you're right; his moods will negatively affect you. So start spending time with other people and doing other things. There is absolutely nothing any of us can do to 'fix' anyone else unless they want to change.
2006-12-18 10:14:47 · answer #5 · answered by beez 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
At least he has a friend to talk to. Sh_t, lots of friends decide at your age that they don't want any part of the troubled youth. So you are a godsend to him, even if he dosen't see it.
2006-12-18 10:19:37 · answer #6 · answered by JOHNNY D 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
For a mild depression, L-Phenylalanine may work. In severe cases, psychiatric help is the only solution,
2006-12-18 11:04:13 · answer #7 · answered by bata4689 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Maybe you could recommend he see a doctor.
2006-12-18 10:14:57 · answer #8 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
THERE IS NOT ONE THING YOU CAN DO TO HELP HIM UNLESS HE ASKS FOR HELP
2006-12-18 10:15:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
try to talk to him or her let her tALK DONT ASK HER WHEN HE OR SHE IS READY TO TALK YOU CAN LISTEN
2006-12-18 10:20:31 · answer #10 · answered by TEIRRA 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋