How do I get my toddler to stop biting?

Question

My son is almost 3 yrs. old. He just started a new daycare and all of a sudden is biting kids. He's never bit anyone before. How do I stop this? He has had a lot of change in his life lately ... (new house, new school, his parents just got back together after being apart 9 months) So I don't know if that plays a part as well. I can't get hi to understand that biting is wrong, and I don't want him to get kicked out of daycare.

Answer 1

DO NOT BITE BACK! I can't believe so many suggest injuring a child to teach a lesson! Biting him back will only reinforce the message that biting is okay. "If mom can bite me, I can bite someone." Biting back is a punishment (you controlling him). He needs to be disciplined in order to learn self control. Those of you, who suggest biting back, stop offering such abusive advice and go take some parenting classes, read some parenting books and educate yourselves!

He has gone through a lot of changes in his life. He is probably feeling frustrated, confused, and powerless. Help him to feel powerful by saying things like “You did that by yourself!” “You stacked every block!” “You can jump super high!” “You used so many colors on your picture!” These phrases are great confidence builders, great ways to show love and attention, and great ways to help him to feel powerful in a positive way.

Be on call with his daycare. Stay close by. As soon as your son child bites, go and get him right away. Tell him "You cannot be at school is you are going to bite." Have a very boring day with him at home. If you can, keep him home an extra day to reinforce the message. Tell him "You can't go today. I'm afraid you might bite someone." If he likes going to child care, he will soon learn to be gentler. Take your son aside and ask him to let you show her how teeth feel on skin. Press his forearm against his upper teeth as if he were biting himself, not in an angry revengeful way, but as a parent making a point, "See, biting hurts!" Give this lesson immediately after he bites you or someone else. You want your child to learn to be sensitive to how others feel – an early lesson in empathy.

I would also empathize with him after a biting incident. "You must have felt very (angry, mad, hurt, frustrated) when you bit "John." What can you do next time instead?" Do some role playing with him. Also, help him to empathize with children he bit. “Wow! “John” must have been really (upset, hurt, mad) when you bit him.” He will learn to express his feelings, learn to empathize, and learn new ways to approach a situation rather than bite. Check out the following link. http://www.askdrsears.com/html/6/T063900.asp#T062400

Hope this helps!

Answer 2

The changes you mentioned are hard on adults, can you imagine how a 3 year old would feel? Is it possible for you to spend some 1 on 1 time w/ him? An hour, maybe 30 min a day where it's just the two of you (or maybe his dad)?

DON"T bite back. That only shows him "see how mommy can hurt you". Here is what I did with my son.........I took his little finger and placed it on his canine tooth(yeah, the sharp one) and I told him to press down. Then I told him "when you bite, it hurts because your teeth are sharp". I feel for you b/c in the end, it will ultimately be something he just out-grows. Good luck!

Answer 3

Sounds like your son may be having a hard time adjusting to all the changes. Just make sure you and the daycare he attends are being consistent in his consequences when he bites. Time outs away from the other kids usually works well-as along as it is being done everytime. Being sure to tell him WHY he's in the time out and letting him know when he is done with his time out what you expect. PLEASE do not bite your son when he bites you. This only confuses a child as to acceptable behavior. When he bites and you get upset tell him no then bite him back--what does that teach him?!?!?!?

Answer 4

I think the best thing is to explain to him.. that biting is wrong and he can hurt someone.. And You have to tell him that if he bite someone and he can be kick out of preschool and no school will except him for his biting... scare him little.. tell him he would not get friends.. that you would punish him for biting someone.. Or you can bite him and ask him how he feels.. then i think he would understand tht biting is wrong.. And tell him that the kid he bite is going to tell his or her parents get him kick out of preschool and that he can get into a lot of trouble.. (I do not have kids but i have work with kids) and you can put him to time out..

Answer 5

Everytime you see him bite, or get a report that he has bitten, bite him back. Bite hard enough to hurt but not hard enough to break or bruise the skin. Use the forearm.

Answer 6

Bite him back.

At 3 yrs. old, he doesn't realize that what hurts someone else also hurts him. You have to show him that by biting him back when he bites. Don't do it hard, just hard enough to get the point across. Once he realizes that biting hurts then he'll stop doing it.

Answer 7

my aunty had the same problem with my cousin. She tried everything, but couldn't get him to stop. Eventually she bit him back, and he stopped. I know it sounds cruel. I have never had that problem with my son- he's never been a biter, so honestly I don't know what I'd do. Biting back seems extreme. Hope you sort it out because it is a problem

Answer 8

I will tell you to bite him back so that he feels what biting does, but I will not advise you to do that, try instead to calmly talk to him, you'll be surprised how well three years old understand.

Answer 9

the best way to get him out of it is to bite him back. that's what my brother did to me when I was a toddler and I never did it again!

Answer 10

bite him back till he learns his lesson!