I can think of only one time in our whole relationship of a year and half that I initiated sex and actually got it.He will always be too tired,or move me off him, or ask me if that's the only thing I can think about.He will actually tell me that I waited too late,like it is my fault.After a while,I just stopped initiating sex and waited for him.That got to me more and more,but I couldnt ever say no to him because I long for that connection with him.I love him. The sex,when we have it,is great.I wonder if I want it too much?Something wrong with me if I want sex everyday?Well anyways,I then talked to him about feeling like he controled when we has sex, and he said that I dont even try anymore.Why would I?I used to climb ontop of him,and he would tell me he wasnt into it.Then there were times he would stop me, and then later that night start it..and of course I felt like he did that just for control!What should I do?I have cried so many times over this,its getting to be too much.
2006-12-18 09:46:51 · 21 answers · asked by LadyAlysse 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
a bj usually solves that problem.
2006-12-18 09:49:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him a taste of his own medicine. When he wants it tell him your not in the mood that he waited to long. After a while he will get the hint and when he hasn't had it for a while then you climb on him, he'll take it. it will be the best sex ever. There is nothing wrong with you and he has a control problem. Think about that... if he is controlling sex if you get married he will eventually control everything you do. Be careful with a control person. I would hate to hear in the news that he killed you from being so controlling. it happens.
2006-12-18 09:54:10 · answer #2 · answered by Karen A 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG..Im so sorry bc I know exactly how you feel.....I used to be with a guy exactly like that...for a while I used to think maybe I wasnt attractive enough, I went so far as to buy lingere and toys and he never went for any of it....I even wanted to watch porn with him and he would say no. So I would just wait for him and yeah the sex would be great bc I wanted it really bad but then......I found out he was cheating on me and I broke up with him..after we broke up he wanted me more than ever bc he knew he couldn't have me whenever he wanted anymore....In your case Im not sure if he's cheating on you or what the senerio may be but I would definatly talk to him about it. I know its hard bc when I tried talking to my ex-bf he would brush me off or say he'd get better but then it would go back to the same stuff. If he can't satisfy you and please you the way you want and if he's isn't caring to your needs....leave him. You can do better and there is someone out there who would love a girl to initiate sex.
2006-12-18 09:57:51 · answer #3 · answered by a1980 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey there,
I hope your not taking this stress on, you will get sick of it all and turn to someone else for comfort if he is treating you this way, you are very healthy nothing is wrong with that good, and its normal to want to show your boyfriend love everyday. because that is what it is not just sex its called love for each other, and I think he is acting like an idiot, you should by your self a dildo and leave him out for a whole week with total silence he would come running with drule all over him.
But give him his space, if you think you are a nymphomaniac, then get some help that part is not healthy, have some control and you will be fine.
2006-12-18 09:58:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This sounds like its about much more than sex. He's clearly in it for the one upmanship. If your relationship is unequal in other areas ( money, friends, family ) then that might explain why he needs to control this aspect so much. Don't let him make you feel like you are 'desparate', you aren't, you probably just want a regular sex life ( like most girls ).
Try giving him the upper hand in other aspects of your relationship. At the same time, turn him down when he initiates sex. Whatever happens you cant carry on like this, good luck sweetie!
2006-12-18 10:00:15 · answer #5 · answered by penny century 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you sure you're ready to go to the "next level"? Because losing your virginity is a BIG step in relationships. I believe in sex AFTER marriage, but if you feel differently... I don't know. But considering that you two haven't been together for very long, I don't know if it's worth it. Imagine, losing your virginity to someone you haven't been with forever and might not be spending forever with. Think about it. And remember, once you lose your virginity, you will NEVER get it back.
2016-05-23 05:19:39 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Something is more likely wrong with him than with you. Naturally if you don't get sex more than once a week, or even less often, you are going to want it every day until you finally get it. That may be why it feels good as well - bursting the dam, so to speak.
But you and this twerp are clearly incompatible, and whatever love you think you have for him is probably more of a yearning for love than anything else.
Start thinking about moving on. Things aren't going to get better, and it's not you who needs to change, it's this twerp who is probably incapable of change.
2006-12-18 09:57:44 · answer #7 · answered by Grist 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a tough one. First off, there's nothing wrong with wanting sex every day... perfectly normal and pretty much close to average.
As for his behavior, it sounds like he's rather lacking in sex drive. My most recent ex was like that, and I've had friends who considered sex more than once a week to be disgusting...
You really need to talk to him about this and find out what's going on.
Failing that, you can always turn the tables on him, and give him the same lines in turning him down when he wants sex.
Another option is to find out what really turns him on (I love seeing gf in a thong... pretty much gets me going every time) and try using that to get him going when you want sex.
There are other possible issues here as well - he might be a latent homosexual, and is in denial or simply doesn't realize it.
A good friend of mine was married for years to a man who wasn't all that into sex... turns out he'd been satisfying himself with other men...
And there's the final solution - you can break up with him and find someone who really appreciates you sexually... as well as as a person.
Just my .01
-dh
2006-12-18 11:12:18 · answer #8 · answered by delicateharmony 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is serious and a big problem. Let him know that you are desirous of him and if he isn't that into you, you need to know now.
It will be painful to say and a difficult conversation to have but you deserve to be with someone who wants you.
These are his problems and you are not wrong to want to be sexual with your partner so, if he cannot be there for you on your terms at all then I imagine there are other ways that he is either holding back or controlling.
It may be time to walk away because if he is like this after 18 months it will be awful after 18 years!
2006-12-18 09:51:36 · answer #9 · answered by anirbas 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go find another guy.
You don't want to hear that but I can't figure out why you would post the same question three times. Find another guy!
It seems you don't have the experience to decide if you want this type of love style. Seriously, get out there and test the waters
I bet you find someone that you're more compatable with.
Good luck!
2006-12-18 09:56:34 · answer #10 · answered by Cabbage 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe change the ways you initiate sex. Play around w/ different ways to get him started. Just play w/ his hair maybe start kissing his neck...whatever...try different stuff out and see how he reacts to each new thing.
And if all else fails then just talk to him again. Talk to him again and let him know this really bothers you & you've tried everything! :P
2006-12-18 09:56:55 · answer #11 · answered by Niko 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋