Whats the funniest joke/ riddle you have ever heard in your life?

Question

and tell me the answer.

Answer 1

Can you answer my Riddle?
If a red house is made of red bricks,
and a blue house is made of blue bricks,
What is a green houe made of?

Look it up and answer it. Some people have realy stupid answers.

Answer 2

Wanda's dishwasher quit working so she called a repairman. Since she
had
>> to go to work the next day, she told the repairman, "I'll leave the
key
>> under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter,
and
>> I'll mail you a check." "Oh, by the way don't worry about my bulldog
>> Spike. He won't bother you. But, whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY
>> circumstances, talk to my parrot!" "I REPEAT, DO NOT TALK TO MY
>> PARROT!!!" When the repairman arrived at Wanda's apartment the
following
>> day, he discovered the biggest, meanest looking bulldog he has ever
seen.
>> But, just as she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet
watching
>> the repairman go about his work. The parrot, however, drove him nuts
the
>> whole time with his incessant yelling, cursing and name calling.
Finally
>> the repairman couldn't contain himself any longer and yelled, "Shut
up,
>> you stupid, ugly bird!" To which the parrot replied, "Get him,
Spike!"

Answer 3

A guy walks into a bar with no money and asks for a drink, The bar tender tells him no. The guy says if he performs a miracle is that o.k. The bar tender says alright. so the man pulls out a hamster which immediately starts to play the piano. The guy finishes the drink then performs another one for a second, the guy pulled out a frog which started to sing Carmen. a guy next to him offers him $1200 for it. guy takes offer. Bar tender says why did you do that/ you could have made millions. The flatly answers, The hamster's a ventriloquist.

Answer 4

A panda walks into a bar, sits down and orders a sandwich. He eats, pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter dead. As the panda stands up to go, the bartender shouts, "Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for the food." The panda yells back, "Hey, man, I'm a panda. Look it up!" The bartender opens his dictionary to panda: "A tree-climbing mammal of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves."

Answer 5

hope you like them.
The mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that her daughter was having sex. Worried the girl might become pregnant, and adversely impact the family's status, she consulted the family doctor.

The doctor told her that teenagers today were very willful, and any attempt to stop the girl would probably result in rebellion. He then told her to arrange for her daughter to be put on birth control and, until then, talk to her and give her a box of condoms.

Later that evening, as her daughter was preparing for a date, the woman told her about the situation and handed her a box of condoms. The girl started to laugh and reached over to hug her mother saying, "Oh Mum! You don't have to worry about that! I'm dating Susan!"

2 weeks ago
A man's boat capsizes in the middle of the ocean. He washes up on a deserted island with nothing but the clothes on his back. He builds a small shelter and finds food and water, but he misses civilization more with each passing day.

While walking on the beach one day, he sees a beautiful woman emerge from the ocean wearing a scuba tank and a wetsuit. She says, "You look like you could use a smoke." She unzips a pocket on one arm of her wetsuit, pulls a Cuban cigar from inside, and hands it to the man. The man smokes slowly, and tells her that it is the finest cigar that he has ever smoked.

"How about a drink?" the woman asks. She unzips another pocket, reaches in, and pulls out a small flask. "It's a 17-year-old, single malt scotch, aged in oak," the woman tells him. The man is almost beside himself with joy as he sips the drink.
The woman then begins unzipping the front of her wetsuit. "Want to play around?" she asks.
"Jesus Christ!" the man says. "You have a set of golf clubs

2 weeks ago
A City cop was on his horse waiting to cross the street when a little girl on her new shiny bike stopped beside him. "Nice bike," the cop said "did Santa bring it to you?" "Yep," the little girl said, "he sure did!" The cop looked the bike over and handed the girl a $5 ticket for a safety violation.The cop said, "Next year tell Santa to put a reflector light on the back of it." The young girl looked up at the cop and said, "Nice horse you got there sir, did Santa bring it to you?" "Yes, he sure did," chuckled the cop. The little girl looked up at the cop and said, "Next year tell Santa the dick goes underneath the horse, not on top."

Answer 6

Q:how can you tell a blonds having a bad day?

A:her tampons behind her ear and she cant find her pencil

Answer 7

I heard this from my girlfriend's mom.

Why is Santa's sack so big?


Because he comes once a year.

Answer 8

ur momma

Answer 9

THERE ISN'T N THAT MUCH MOST OF THEM ARE STUPID