Best way to act with cheating girlfriend?

Question

Long term girlfriend cheated on me while I was out of town — she says she's terribly sorry, never wanted to hurt me, blah blah, but she's interested in this guy now and wants to pursue it (he's been a long term supposedly 'neutral' guy friend for years), very angry, hurt, sad, blah,blah — and she's still living with me while she finds a new apartment. My question is, what is the best way to act? I'm angry and sad all at the same time, should I show her how much she hurt me, reveal how tremendously painful and wicked her actions have been and allow her to see me 'sad' or just try to be as cool, calm and as collected as possible and tell her that I want her completely out of my life as soon as possible? She seems to think *that* scenario is the most painful, says she *wants* me in her life and that she loves me more than anything, that without me in her life she would be desolate —she just doesn't want to be 'in love' with me she just wants to keep her 'best friend.' Of course all of this *hurts* me SO MUCH too as I want her in my life as well, but I know that I have to be strong too. This was THE most ****** up thing I can ever imagine doing to a person, friend or whatever — does she deserve ANYTHING from me at all? It kills me to see her in pain and this is clearly causing her anguish, as stupid as that must sound. I still care about her and want to make it better, but she did a HORRIBLE thing to me and I'll probably be recovering from that for years. Does this split-emotional thing make any sense??? Please help, I'm an emotional mess.

Answer 1

Hey man, had the same thing happen to me, tried to work it out, forgave her for it, here's the thing though. and it hurts to hear, but if she wants to pursue this. let her go man. If she doesn't respect you enough to cut it off with this guy, you've already lost her, you need to let her know she can't have both, that she needs to make a decision and stick with it. I tried to make it work, and all it did was lead to her lying to me and stoking the flames inside me about this deal even hotter, realize that you deserve better than a girl who'll do that to you and move on. YOu can't be best friends with her, my ex said the EXACT same things to me, the point is it's time for you to stand up and not be rude, but show that you know you desere better than someone who'll betray you like that.
i know what you mean about the split emotional thing because i know that no matter what my ex did to me, i love her, and i still do, but you can ove something and it not be right for you. whats will end up happening if you stay with her as a friend, is that she'll have her realtionship with this guy, and use you to meet the emotional meeds he doesn't, and all it will do is fan the fire. she either needs to commit to you fully, and give her 100% or you need to take your 100% elsewhere, sounds like this girl has some growing up to do. i know it hurts man, went through the exact same thing three months ago, but you know what, if she's gonna be like that, i'm better off without her, there is someone out there who will recognize what you bring, and they'll give 100% in the relationship. Instead of riding on your shoulders, you can love her, thats fine, you can't change that. But you can't be with her, maybe down the road she'll realize what she lost, but right now. Check your bags, and move on.

Be blessed man
Heath

Answer 2

1

Answer 3

Why are you willing to do anything for this girl anymore? She cheated on you and wants to leave you for the other guy, yet you are still willing to let her stay with you and still be friends? Cut off all ties and just move on. Tell her to find another apartment as soon as possible, give her a timeline or even better move out so she has to act. She doesn't deserve anything from you. She just wants you around just in case things don't work out between the new guy.

Answer 4

Yes it is hard to let go of the ones you love but if she really loved you she would not have cheated in the first place. The more time you give her to find an apartment the more she thinks that she can walk all over you, more time to convince you that you need to forgive and forget. She didn't seem too desolate when she invited someone else into the bedroom, you do not need to be friends with her right now you need space and time to forgive her and if it's destined you will be friends again but for now get rid of her

Answer 5

I just got out of a 3yr relationship in which my bf cheated on me and I was living with him.....it was a hard transition and leaving was the hardest thing I ever had to do. But I had to be strong bc he cheated on me more than once...said he loved me and wouldn't do it again...blah blah blah....deep down I really wasn't happy and even though I cared about him and didn't want to leave him feeling sad and lonely (so he said) I still had to put myself first...so I advise you to push her fast to move out...the more you prolong this the harder it will be for the both of you.

Answer 6

Wait a minute do you have evidence she is cheating or do you purely think of she is? i ought to tell some solutions have been from adult adult males! do no longer use he for her money purely smash up along with her and locate somebody new that loves you and cares for you like your lady pal isn't if she is in certainty cheating on you.

Answer 7

you should know that you deserve more respect then that and shame on you that you don't.. play it off cool and when she is moved out don't you dare have anything more to do with her.. oh yeah she loves you- yeah right. she's a no good, liyin dirty ho and you need to stay away from her :) :) :)

Answer 8

Get rid of this lunethic loser and get yourself a very fine woman.....you should have kicked her out immediately....you are such a kind guy

Answer 9

sure i hurts because you really care for her but how can you trust her again after she cheated? i don't see her cheating on you if she really cared as much as she said she did.