Me and my fiance have save money for this wedding all of a sudden my parents have this really big financial problem, they might lose their house. Is it my responsiblity to help them and postpone my wedding? Is it fair for my fiance? pls help!
2006-12-18 09:09:07 · 23 answers · asked by looklikebradpitt 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
no you aren't responsible for their finances but if you can afford to help that is great - don't postpone your wedding, look for ways to manage the budget and make sure you don't need any help from them. Perhaps, instead of postponing the wedding you could help by sharing some of the gift money with them? Either way, the decision should be made WITH your fiance and what you to come up with TOGETHER will be right and fair for both of you since it is a shared decision. Remember, while it may be your parents, this is a decision that effects both of you and your futures, his and yours, not just yours.
2006-12-18 11:11:10 · answer #1 · answered by Chrys 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My situation isn't exactly similar, but my parents are kind of struggling finacially right now. Great timing eh? But don't worry, you can still have an awesome wedding. What i'm doing is buying things myself here and there to help with the cost of the wedding. If i see that i need somthing right then (ex. i really needed to go buy my wedding shoes saturday so i just bought them myself and didn't ask my parents) I'm no rich kid either so i'm trying to save a butt load to help out. If you and your fiance are unable to pay and it is a big burden on your parents i may consider postponing, but then again, who knows if they will be back to normal or on their feet by then...hopefully so but you never know. I would simply scale down, rethink your budget, and plan a beautiful wedding. you can do a lot for little. good luck!
2006-12-18 10:27:29 · answer #2 · answered by Katie Beth 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is okay, and no, do not feel obligated to help your parents. Yours and your fiancee's happiness are more important, and who knows how long it will be before you can afford to get married if you give your money to your parents. They are grown ups, they can work it out. Do what you can for them, but don't sacrifice your own life and all you've worked for. This should be a happy time for the two of you! If they're having that much trouble, just don't ask them for any help, and offer to fly them out for the wedding (if applicable).
Best wishes for the future!!
Edit: Just as a side note, if the money issues aren't due to some recent catastrophe (a major illness, etc), then it maybe your parents just made some poor money decisions. If that's the case, you handing them money might not help anything.
2006-12-18 09:12:12 · answer #3 · answered by A W 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You are not obligated to help your parents, but the fact that you are thinking like you are shows that you are a caring person. But, at the same time you do have to care about yourself. Your wedding only comes once in a lifetime (hopefully!), if you push out the date you'll have to ask yourself if your anniversary will always be tainted because you knew you had to push it out because your parents were having financial problems. I would say keep your date as is. It is your wedding, your day, and you shouldn't have to give that up. Help your parents if it makes you happy, but don't loose what makes you happy at the same time.
2006-12-18 09:14:48 · answer #4 · answered by beetrippin 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Wow, I'm so sorry to hear that. It's a very tough situation for everyone involved. First I would see if your loaning your parents $$ would even help them enough so that they don't lose their home. If that is the case, I would help your parents first. I'm sure they would do the same for you. If you loaning them the $$ isn't going to be enough to help them out of their financial problems, I would go ahead with your wedding plans. If you are paying for the wedding yourself, and not asking for thier help, I don't see why this would be a problem. It might actually give your parents something to look forward to while they are in this fiscal crisis. Best of luck to you and your family!
2006-12-18 09:55:58 · answer #5 · answered by MelB 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yes, you have every right to have the wedding you and your finance have planned and saved for. It would be different if you expected your parents to foot the bill.
Your parents' financial problems are not your own, and you cannot start your marriage by telling your spouse that the future you have planned with her is less important than taking care of your parents' financial stability.
2006-12-18 09:23:21 · answer #6 · answered by leahivan 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
No, it's not your responsibility to help them. Your responsibility is to your soon to be wife. Your parents are adults and should of planned ahead. What money would you use next time to bail them out? Your children's college fund?
Go on with your wedding. Put your wife first always. Under no circumstances use your wedding money for them. Even if your fiance says to. You both will only regret it and resent your parents for it.
2006-12-18 09:23:48 · answer #7 · answered by honey 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I paid for our own wedding. Both of our families couldn't afford to help us out. There was an unexpected perk to paying for it ourselves - No one could argue with us how the church should look, what to serve for food, etc. because it wasn't their money. It was a really good bonding experience for my husband and myself. It put that one day into perspective and we ended up with the wedding we wanted, not what we thought everyone would like. It was really low budget though but it was totally worth it to do it ourselves.
On your parents' financial troubles. I'm sorry to hear they are stuggling, but the problems are your parents' and not yours. It's not your responsibility to bail them out (unless they recently loaned you all their money). If you do not live in their house, it's not your responsibility.
I also struggled with this question and finally had to tell myself that they didn't consult me when they took out that morgage at that intrest rate, so since I had nothing to do with incuring the debt, I shouldn't have anything to do with paying it off.
2006-12-18 09:17:20 · answer #8 · answered by Anna Simon 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't see any reason to change your wedding date. But I do think you should take the responsibility away from them. That may mean you have to scale back a lot, but your parents shouldn't face bankruptcy because of it. Only do what YOU can afford to do, and take the financial obligation off their plate. If you are mature enough to get married, you are mature enough to pay for it yourself.
2006-12-18 09:14:53 · answer #9 · answered by kj 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Contrary to what colonel angus said, they are not *supposed* to pay for the wedding. (Just because it was tradition does not mean you have to do it).
I would talk to your fiancee and see if both of you would like to help your parents out in their financial time of need.
How far along are you in the wedding planning? If you are just starting out and haven't mentioned a date or place or started reservations yet, and your fiancee is in agreement, help your parents out.
It is not your responsibility though.
I would help if my fiancee agreed.
2006-12-19 02:09:34 · answer #10 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋