I feel like I've been duped. Now we have both signed a lease on an apartment and we have to live together. I feel like I'm in the right place, I love her and want to be with her forever. She is afraid of marraige and commitment because she grew up in a hard situation with her parents and she claims that she "doesn't do relationships." It would have been nice to know all this before moving in but now what can I do? Before we moved in together we were as happy as two people could be, now she's freaked out about it and I'm stressing myself over the fact that there's nothing I can do to help the situation.
2006-12-18 08:47:24 · 4 answers · asked by Evan G 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I feel like many of you are overreacting. Neither of us WANT to move out, neither of us WANT to be apart. Our conversations have been confusing because on one hand she wants me here and on the other she is very frightened about it.
I can try to give her some space but there isn't much here.
2006-12-18 23:32:06 · update #1
You guys definitely moved too fast. Oh well, we all make mistakes, just make sure you learn from this one. Do either of you have a friend that could take over the other person's lease? You could still date, just not have to live together. Good luck!
2006-12-18 08:58:31 · answer #1 · answered by Summer 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have choices. . .#1- have her move out and get a new roommate.
#2- have her move out and take over the lease yourself (you have to have the landlord's approval for this)
#3- have her pay her entire share of the lease and then let her move out
#4- retain the status quo (although I sure wouldn't)
#5- Final straw--if she won't commit and moves out go to court and sue her for the balance of the lease
That crap about I don't do relationships is exactly that. . crap.
That is nothing more than a cop out and she is playing you for all she is worth. She has duped you into a living arrangement and probably is going to try (if she is not already) mooching off you and doing nothing to help out.
Bottom line: if she doesn't help pay the bills and doesn't do her share of work in the apartment she ought to be gone. If she does do that and you are not happy with the arrangement see above or let her live in the spare BR and get a new g/f.
2006-12-18 09:05:48 · answer #2 · answered by snddupree 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give her some space. Living together is a huge step and she may just feel like she doesn't have her own space like she did before you two lived together. Don't do as much together let her have some time to herself, slightly pulling away will make her see or not see how much she needs you and wants you in her life. When you become comfortable with a person in a certian situation you can being to take forgranted how much that person means because they are always around. If you disconnect yourself a little it may spark something in her to realzie she doesn't want to lose you. I wish you the best of luck I know you feel really lost right now but you have to let go and let God. :)
2006-12-18 08:55:47 · answer #3 · answered by kates0105 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you went too fast- slow down and sleep in different rooms and try to keep your lives more seperate so she doesnt feel trapped....
2006-12-18 08:49:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋