I'm 23 years old, relatively successful considering my age, and yet, despite my best attempts, have been unable to convince a woman that I'm worth dating in over two years and was never all that successful in this area before that point. In an attempt to meet someone, I regularly volunteer with various organizations and peruse the local bar/club scene to no avail.
While it usually doesn't bother me, I was born with a condition known as hematoma auris which caused my right ear to form as a solid lump which needed to be amputated in order to allow me to hear, leaving me with a small hole where my ear should be. Prosthetics are available but are very expensive and are not covered by insurance.
I'm beginning to suspect that natural selection may have conditioned women, and possibly people in general, to be repelled by any physical/genetic imperfection. While such a trait would contribute to the genetic strength of the human race, it would also explain why I am perpetually lonely.
2006-12-18 08:26:18 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Women, if you don’t mind my asking, is my assessment accurate???
2006-12-18 08:27:17 · update #1
Judging by your vocabulary, you seem a well educated man.
If a woman can't get over your 'imperfection' to see the real you than she's not worth your time anyway.
And besides, maybe you're looking in the wrong places. Instead of hanging around bars and clubs, do something positive for the community where all the women involved wouldn't be shallow, skanky bar scum. Perhaps consider joining the Red Cross or an organization with good, wholesome people involved.
If your love is purely physical, than it isn't love anyway. You need to be partnered with somebody that balances and complements your personality, instead of some random bar skank.
Good Luck!
2006-12-18 08:35:03 · answer #1 · answered by marajader2d2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are physical attributes that can make a woman run for her life--a small member, a missing arm, but an ear? Hey, there is someone out there for you, just be patient. I dont beleive that women are conditioned by natural selection. Have you considered other possibilites? Do you bathe on a normal basis? Do you brush your teeth? Do you dress appropriately? Do you tell horrible jokes? How are your pick up lines? These are what women notice right away. Your ear is the last thing we are looking at!
2006-12-18 16:31:27 · answer #2 · answered by lee911 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not true. You are persuing the wrong women. It has nothing to do with"natural selection" because there are many people with deformations who have met and fallen in love withsomeone and it worked out beautifully. Maybe you are looking in the wrong places or maybe you are choosing women who are superficial. Now that you have lost your ear, maybe you will look for women who are beautiful on the inside over the outside. Plus if you are a beautiful person on the inside... you wont need to be perfect on the outside to meet someone and "live happily ever after". Everything comes in due time. Maybe this is just a learning expieriance for you now and when the time comes she will be there.
2006-12-18 16:32:34 · answer #3 · answered by xxkittenluvxx143 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
23 is still very young. If you were 43 and having this problem, I'd be concerned, but like I say you are still very young.
There are women who are going to fall in love with you for who you are and they won't care at all about your ear. I fell in love with a guy who had a huge chest scar from having open heart surgery when he was 23. This guy happened to be pretty popular with women and not one of them ever had a problem with his scar. Though at first he had been self-conscious about it and was afraid it might turn women off.
My advice to you is just work on being the best person you can be. Maybe the women you are meeting are shallow, and that has been the problem. Unfortunately shallow women greatly outnumber the ones who fall in love with a man because of HIM and not because of his looks or money or anything like that. Just be patient and know there is a perfect women for you that will love you for who you are. No, you won't get left behind just because of your ear. Look at the lady who married Paul McCartney, she was an amputee.
2006-12-18 16:38:11 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not a woman and I don't have a true genetic disorder but you bet natural selection plays a big role. Women (consciously or not) are always going for the healthiest, biggest, strongest, jerk kind of guys. I am short and skinny which isn't really a genetic disorder but I have NEVER been with a girl and no girl has ever looked at me with any more interest than looking at an insect.
2006-12-18 16:31:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
For some women it very well may be true. But fear not this is not all women. You will meet someone just give it time and let it happen naturally. Dont forget to smile alot, ask questions, and flirt with the women you do meet. Good luck.
2006-12-18 16:30:47 · answer #6 · answered by sweetlaughter434 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, if you have to convince a woman to be with you, she's not right for you. You want a woman to WANT to be with you regardless of you condition. Just relax and enjoy life and that special WOMAN will come into your life in no-time. Good Luck!!!! Oh, unless you just want a physical relationship, do not try to meet a woman in a bar nor club!!!
2006-12-18 16:31:39 · answer #7 · answered by Queen 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry that you're having trouble finding 'her'. But please take heart. 'Girls' in their twenties are generally pretty shallow - probably formed by the mass media. As you get older, you will meet women who are far more interested in WHO YOU ARE, rather than what you look like. And to be honest...its an ear! It shouldn't be a big deal for someone with values. Stick with it...she's out there. We aren't all wrapped up in appearances!
2006-12-18 16:31:27 · answer #8 · answered by Super Ruper 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im sorry to hear of your situation that is of not being able to find a nice girl. Unfortunately most people are shallow and yes we do tend to shy away from phyical imperfection not to mention nice guys finish last... Im sure God hads someone just for you you are still young so just pray about it and keep being you.
2006-12-18 17:37:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nobody is perfect and grow long hair to cover it so it isn't right in your face. I dated a man with one leg and he was learning to walk with a prostestics. He had a great personality and we got along really well, probably would have married him but he got a bone infection and died. Not having a leg seems worse than an ear. No to me looks isn't everything.
2006-12-18 16:30:48 · answer #10 · answered by Ruth 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋