Is it worth it?!?

Question

I met a guy a few months ago and we got on great. He took me for a meal and had a few more dates since then.

We have texted each other almost everyday since meeting and I really like and him and I think he really likes me.

I also know that he is shy.

Anyway, he has texted me recently saying that he's trying not to get too involved with me at the moment as he feels he doesn't have time for a relationship. I really do like him and feel that we could be so happy together if he just let his hair down a little bit and took some chances.

Can you advise me what to do as I would really like to make a go of it with this guy.

Answer 1

Tell him that you respect his decision, and that you are happy to just be his friend, and then just patiently wait until he can wait no longer to be your love.

Answer 2

Hello hun.

Whatever you do please dont try and push him into a relationship with him. He maybe shy but he may also have some personal issues. These maybe waht are stopping him from getting too serious. Or it could be that he's been really hurt in the past and he's got his guard up, so he doesn't get hurt again.

You two proberly would make a really lovely couple, however for the time being hun just go along with things. Dont push him into a relationship, as pushing someone can also push them away.

He may also be testing to see if you really are as lovely as you seem. If you can show him you can wait and move things forward when HE'S ready then it will prove to him that your not after just getting him in bed. Those who wait and take things slow always come out smiling in the end.

Just tell him hun that your fine with his decision and because you care alot for him your prepared to wait and take things slow.

Good luck hun, and if you REALLY do like him as much as you say you do then you know im right.

This saying is VERY TRUE, "The best things come to those who wait".

Answer 3

Hi,
being a guy- I will aswer with knowlege and.... with truth.
I'm going through the same thing right now, I actually broke up with my ex, because i wanted time of my own.

For a relationship to work the effort and emotional investment has to be equal, from both sides.
It sounds like it is NOT for you two.

You could give it a try, but i suggest to treat this relationship the way he does (from what you wrote, i take, that he thinks of it as a fling).

If you push to hard, i can predict that sooner or later if he stays as "involved" as he is right now, you'll feel like "you're doing all the work", you'll have a huge fight and either break up or keep this going for a while, after which .... you'll break up.

Know what you are worth, and if you want a serious relationship, invest it into somebody who will treat is, just like you are- SERIOUSLY.

If you treat this fling, like he does- if he really likes you- he will bring up the "next step" himself, if he doesn't ..... you;re not for each other.

Be strong. Be realistic. Be honest to yourself. Don't fall into this, untill you are BOTH on the same page.

Good luck.

P.S. don't be mad at me, i figured you'd prefer a honest answer.

Answer 4

Its tough when you really care for someone and want them to feel the same way about you. It sounds to me like the guy doesn't really want to get involved with anyone right now, or maybe he may have met someone else. But either way, you shouldn't waste your effort or your heart on someone who isn't looking or willing to do the same for you. Ideally, you want to believe he's shy and maybe even needs a little time to build up some trust with you so he can get comfortable and "let his hair down". Unfortunately, more times than not in my experience he's trying to spare your feelings and not be the "bad guy". You seem really sincere, and you deserve that same sincerity out of someone else. And he's out there...just remember that even if things don't work out how you planned for them to, you're going to be kissing a lot of frogs before you find your prince. :)

Answer 5

Honestly if he really liked you he would make the time. Move on, trust me. If someone is comming up with a line like that then it is probably that he wants an "open" relationship and wants to search out other women.

Don't waste your time unless the "open" way would work for you... and to be honest eventually the "open" thing stops being fun because someone will want to get attached.

Answer 6

seems to me you dont take hints very well. he said he didnt want a relationship and your like oh were gonna be so happy together were gonna give it a go. saying he has no time for a relationship is his way of letting you down easy. if he liked you he would make time for you. he doesnt like you. he may want to hit it but he doesnt want a relationship. take the hint. and do u really wanna talk him into a relationship and then know the whole time that he doesnt want to be there. your just lookin to get played.

Answer 7

well that's a bit unfair to you. how self fish of him to give you that impression then drop that bomb on you what a bast***(excuse my french lol ). But at least he told you now rather then you fall even more in love and you can't escape from it. it's better now cause your at the first stage where you can move on, however if you think he's worth the Waite then stay by his side. good luck and hope it works out for the best.

Answer 8

accept that he's busy and keep texting / emailing and show that you are there for him. However, if he doesn't come around after a while, perhaps ask him about it, otherwise it may just be best to tell him that you care, but if he doesn't have time for you still, you have waited long enough and think its best to call it quits.

Answer 9

Is he married? Or is he in a relationship with someone? With lines like that he could be.
Move on girl and take no brush off from anyone.

Answer 10

take it slow, there is no reason to rush, plus if you take it slow and enjoy eachother he will respect you more in the end for not pushing him into something. plus, the more time you spend together and get to know eahother will open his eyes into seeing what you see now. guys take longer to see what we women see right away. i knew my husband was the one on the first date, i dont think he knew till we moved in together. LOL

Answer 11

Yes, he sounds "worth it" and so are u. Its ok to take time to build a relationship. Shy ppl don't like being cornered. So be honest but not pushy.

Good luck!