I have not been able to go over to his house. Every time I call him she seem s to be their, he says it is just to drop off his son. I met his other two kids and all of his family knows about me. I see him at work but that is about it. We talk on the phone once a day and never on the weekends. I do not know what to do . I am in love with him we have been together for 2 yrs. What should I do?
2006-12-18 08:16:05 · 27 answers · asked by tata_maw 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You know the answer to your question. Unless you want to be second best. Are you that needy?
2006-12-18 08:19:57 · answer #1 · answered by elgil 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have been with him for 2 years and JUST found out he is still married? What is wrong with that picture? Why didn't he tell you from the start?
Well, if his family knows about you and your relationship is in the open, then I would assume that yes, he is seperated. However, why didn't he tell you more details? Why are you just finding out?
You are in love with him now, so there are many emotions involved. Honestly, if it were me, I would never again date a man who was just coming out of a marriage. Been there, done that, and never want to go back. There is just way too much emotional baggage. I guess if you don't mind carrying some of his suitcases around with you, you can stick it out.
Just be ready for some emotional issues to come out. Plus, the fact that they are not divorced yet, does leave room that they could stay together. AND the fact that thier are kids involved just makes it harder for them to split.
Anyway, good luck to you. Oh, last question, why don't you talk on the weekends? What is up with that? Now that would raise a bit of a red flag for me. You may want to check into that. I can't undrestand why you've actually lived with that for 2 years anyway. Plus, why after 2 years of seeing him are they still together anyway?
Please do some research and protect yourself just in case. You could stand to get really hurt here.
2006-12-18 08:24:49 · answer #2 · answered by Singthing 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I like to give a person the benefit of the doubt...but in this situation I would say leave him alone...I understand your in love and you two have been together for a while...but I feel like this man is trying to have his cake and eat it too. When ever a mans time is limited to you, and you can only see him on his time (whenever he wants to be available to you)...that’s never a good sign, especially when your supposed to be his girlfriend. And the situation looks even more suspicious being that he’s still MARRIED. I'm not saying he might not be telling the truth about being separated, but these days you can't put anything past anyone (he might just be lying to you to keeping you around) trust me people can be that Selfish....Ultimately you don't want to stick around; just to end up looking like the fool in the end...I hope you'll make the right decision...and like I said I know this will be hard being that you been with him for so long !
2006-12-18 08:38:05 · answer #3 · answered by dpalmer10584 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if he wasn't up front about it from the begining I would have a hard time trustinghim too. Talking to him is the best bet. You need to express your fears and emotions in an inteligent and adult manor. Let him know what actions/events are leading you to feel this way and tell him that if he loves you that he will try and change these things. As for you not being allowed over there and her being there all the time.. I would also find that to be a bit fishy and in my talk I would bring that up. If you have met his children and family then there should be no reason you shouldn't be allowed into his home. If he does nothing but come up with excuses, then I hate to tell you he is probably lieing about something.
2006-12-18 08:21:09 · answer #4 · answered by xxkittenluvxx143 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Girl come on get a clue. If you been with this man 2 years and hadn't been to his house that's a for sure clue that he hadn't left his wife alone or he's still living with her. And he doesn't talk to you on the weekends because he's probably spending time with his wife. Please do yourself a favor and think more of yourself and know that you deserve better than that because he is a buster and is playing you like a second hand fiddle. The signs are already up that he's lying and i believe you know that in your heart and you don't need anyone to tell you that. Go out with other people and live your life and have some fun. Good Luck!
2006-12-18 08:25:30 · answer #5 · answered by 2sweet4u 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would say that you are worth finding someone for you only. Men will always feed women lines that they are separated when they are not. You have all the clues that he is still with his wife like you never talk to him on weekends and she is there when you call. Thats not fair to you. I know you maybe in love, but let him got to find you someone who don't have the drama that this guy does, because in the end you will be the one who gets hurt. Life is to short to be waiting on him to come around, be patient and the right man will come along. Good Luck to you!
2006-12-18 08:28:39 · answer #6 · answered by ryvetteus2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After 2 years, and you haven't read the "warning flags" yet?
Separated is NOT divorced. He and or she is not willing to cut the rope between them. It sounds like they both have some emotional ties and don't quite want to break off.
I think he's been stringing you along long enough now, don't you think? A man deeply seriously passionately in love would NOT have this running 2 years to take you to be his wife. He's not being fair to you, his "ex wife", his kids nor anyone else involved.
Square off with him with the ultimatum - Remarriage with you, or "hit the road, Jack, and don't you come back no more, no more, no more". Sorry, it hurts, but you gave us the facts.
2006-12-18 08:22:47 · answer #7 · answered by YRofTexas 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
listen if you are with him for two years and you are not able to go to his house ,something is wrong.he may be just taking his time and have some fun with you.and if they have 3 kids together she won't give up him that easy,doesn't matter what he said .you should sit down and try to take some truth out of him,because until now seems that he is not quite sure what is his marital status.
2006-12-18 08:25:17 · answer #8 · answered by realistic 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Drop him like a hot rock. He is using you as a pawn, especially if you are younger / prettier / bigger breasted than his wife. "Watch your step, sweetie, ir I'm out of here with her."
If his mom and dad invite you over for Christmas Eve, everything I said is off. If, on th eother hand, they give you a Christmas stocking with a lump of coal in th etoe, that is a clue.
In fact, why don't you ask his mother for advice? She knows him; her attitude towards you should tell you something.
If he didn't tell you he was separated from the first date, he has proven he lies.
2006-12-18 08:21:13 · answer #9 · answered by Anne Jovie 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I would never date somebody who was "seperated". I think dating before you get a divorce is a sign of poor integrity. I have standards. And I have had enough of crazy and dysfunctional nonsense in my life and don't want anymore.
Good luck with that though.
2006-12-18 08:33:27 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know what to tell you. Sounds like he's hiding the fact that he might be trying to work things out with the wife. All you can do is search your heart and ask him what's really going on and hope that he tells you the truth.
2006-12-18 08:19:26 · answer #11 · answered by kitcat 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋