My boyfriend and I have been together for a year now. We are only Sophomore's in college and have just come home for Christmas break. I live in Ohio and he lives in Missouri. He doesn't understand that I need to be with my family for Christmas beacuse my grandpa has been sick for the past year and it may be his last. He thinks I'm choosing to be away from him because I don't care even though I told him I would come to Missouri the 26th of December. What can I do to show him I really care and would be there if I could?
2006-12-18 07:51:28 · 28 answers · asked by kates0105 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Nothing.
And stick to your guns.
You've told him you need to be with your family for Christmas, that you will be there with him on the 26th. If he can't handle that, I'd be real concerned about his consideration for my feelings and needs.
Christmas is a time when people often have to make choices and compromises. His not recognizing your needs as valid and valuable is insensitive and selfish.
Just let things be the way you have laid it out, and don't agonize over it. You need to do what you need to do for you, and he needs to accept it.
Best wishes!
2006-12-18 07:56:30 · answer #1 · answered by heart o' gold 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he doesn't undertand that family is important, escpecially the story with your grandpa, then he really needs to grow up a little. Obviously if you are cutting time with your family short just to be with him you care about him a lot and he should appreciate it. My boyfriend and I never spend any real holidays together (for 4 years now) because we live on Long Island, his whole family is here and mine is in Connecticut. But he understands.
Just tell him how important being with your family right now is. Explain that if it was the other way around you would understand. Just reassure him that you really care, guys need that often.
2006-12-18 15:59:44 · answer #2 · answered by Jess 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like family is important to you. He needs to first understand that. Speaking from personal experience: he has no right making you feel guilty for WANTING to spend time with your family, whether sick or well!
You could alway invite him to come to your home for Christmas. If his reason for not coming is because he has to spend time with him family, then you'll know it's a whole different issue.
I do want to say this: family is family. Whether you've dated for 1-5 years, you're family is what should always come first. If you get married, he becomes part of your family and then he can have a right to want you too be with him too, but the guy needs to compromise! If he gets mad and stays mad, that's his problem because he has no right making you feel bad for loving your family.
Sorry to hear about your grandfather. Good luck.
2006-12-18 15:59:20 · answer #3 · answered by And baby makes 4! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your bf is being really unfair. You should be with your family and if he had any consideration why isn't he with you and your family? He needs to grow up and have some respect for you. Sounds like he's a really selfish guy. Go through with your plans and tell him to get a grip and you'll see him on the 26th. If he says nasty things about seeing him on the 26th, I'd tell him fine see ya after Christmas break. Why kiss his ***?
2006-12-18 16:01:22 · answer #4 · answered by autumn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well honey, he'll have to understand you have a family and a grandpa to be with. Why doesn't he go to Ohio with you so you guys can spend Christmas together? I'm sure he'll tell you he has to be with his family as well... so you guys really need to talk. Just let him know you'll call him and will be thinking about him.
2006-12-18 15:55:51 · answer #5 · answered by IslandGirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you've already handled everything well. You've told him of you're situation and how you feel. I really dont see anything else you should have to do. I do however see a lack of understanding on his part. Perhaps he has some insecurity issues he needs to work through. In that case, there's not much you can do. It's really on him. Well Good Luck with everything! Peace Out and God Bless!
2006-12-18 16:14:39 · answer #6 · answered by Ramosfam 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that even though you'll be away from him for christmas, you'll make it up to him big-time. Like the two of you spending the rest of the new years together doin it big. He'll look foward to something like that. He probably just wants to be with you over the holiday, but tell him that you'll make it up to him as soon as you see him and that you'll have a GREAT new years together. That way he wont feel so left out and hell have something to look foward to
2006-12-18 16:01:47 · answer #7 · answered by Déjà Vu 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hes in college hard to believe that and if he cared about you so much than why b##ch in the first place this is the only time to see our family it sounds like don't let it get to you he'll get over it see your family you proven enough that you care about him being with him this long already you don't got to prove s##t.
2006-12-18 15:57:09 · answer #8 · answered by tino 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he can't understand you wanting to be with your family for X-Mas,especially knowing how sick your grandpa is maybe you need to re-evaluate whether this is really someone you want a relationship with.
2006-12-18 15:58:38 · answer #9 · answered by renchick13 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this man thinks that you are choosing to be away from him, why can't you just throw it back in his face that he is choosing to be away from you? If he was a GOOD man, he should be understanding of your circumstances and he should be willing to come to see you. Men should always love you just a bit more then you love them, so they will do those things for you if you can't do it for them.
2006-12-18 15:55:23 · answer #10 · answered by Me of course 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋