The question that I want to address is, why do guy's get mad at girls when we want to be friends starting out in a relationship? What's wrong with getting to know a person first? I've recently had an incident where a guy that I was talking to for awhile (10 months) told me his feelings where hurt when I told him this. He started talking to someone else and I got very upset with this. He told me I shouldn't be upset because I wanted to be "friends."
2006-12-18 07:40:46 · 12 answers · asked by Flyingprincez 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
MY GOD! You couldn't get to know him in ten months? You never really liked him in the first place. You wanted a backup plan, in case no one better came along. Even if that isn't what you were consciously thinking, that is what was going through your subconscious mind.
OK, you really wanna know why he was mad? It's because almost all rejection these days happens that way. When a woman says that she "just wants to be friends" or something to that effect, it almost always means that she doesn't want to date the guy she's telling that to. If you wanted to DATE the guy, you would have dated him. Guys don't have time to wait around for you to change your mind about them. That would never happen anyway.
Let me put it to you another way. Think of your favorite male celebrity (or the most attractive man you can imagine). If HE wanted to go out with you, would you want to get to know him extensively before dating him? NO, you would not. You would start dating him and then get to know him as you were going out with him.
You are just getting upset here because YOUR ego was hurt when he talked to another girl. Before he was kind of tagging along, hanging on to some false hope. Now that you realize that you might not be able to have him any time you want, it's bothering you and you're trying to understand why he was upset -- something that's flatly obvious to everyone else.
Have a nice day!
2006-12-18 07:50:15 · answer #1 · answered by anonymous 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I think that if you were talking to your friend for ten months and you hadn't talked about weather or not you want to just remain friends or upgrade your relationship to boyfriend/girlfrind then I dont know if you were being completely honest with yourself and /or him & vice versa. They say you should assume anything.
Second it does not sound as though you were exactly on the same page as far as your expectation . You obviously didnt want to jump into a serious relationship (which there is absolutely nothing wrong with that) However perhaps he was looking for a serious relationship all along. I can see why he would move on to someone who was looking for the same thing he was in a relationship and he probally felt as though he had waisted 10 months. You shouldnt be upset with him because you should have discussed this and talked about it in the beginning of your relationship and then it would have been clearer, perhaps he is upset because he feels strung along. Some people are almost moving in and getting married or conceived a child in a 10 month period what may not seem as a long time to you may be for someone else. Hopefully you both have what you want he has the relationship he wanted and you the friendship...Unless deep down you liked him alot and now he has decided to move on and then you would have put your foot in your own mouth cause you had him and you rejected him and noone really likes to be rejected.
I wish the best for your friendship, look at it on the brightside friendships last longer that boyfriends anyway!
2006-12-18 07:58:39 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The male you describe is immature. Any mature male will be more interested in common goals and hobbies and interests first and satisfying his carnal needs after building a relationship. It saves a lot of heartache on both sides if you know the other person before getting entangled emotionally or physically.
2006-12-18 07:55:38 · answer #3 · answered by Melius 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think he has every right to be hurt especially if you were with him ten months and are just now saying that. If even you did tell him orginally; when you date someone for ten months, you expect it to work into something more! Sorry, but I agree with him on this one.
2006-12-18 07:50:00 · answer #4 · answered by surelycoolgirl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you told him that you wanted to be friends, Then you should not be upset. It sounds like you are jealous. It sounds like you changed your mind about being friends.
2006-12-18 07:44:50 · answer #5 · answered by Christine 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its BS just be friends at first, hmmmm, aka not going anywhere, and guys wont get mad, but they wont be friends, not like bfore you made that decision, cause guys want that a ss and if your gonna be friends we will move onto the next one
2006-12-18 07:43:39 · answer #6 · answered by J from O 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont know
i prefer to get to know the girl prior to going out with her
but then agian, half the fun is getting to know the person
especially at a nice place
so that might be why
2006-12-18 07:42:41 · answer #7 · answered by Nick723 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because, guys view relationships differently than women do....
2006-12-18 07:50:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
what's food for the goose is food for the gander, if you want to be just friends, dont get upset if he also just wants to be friends.
2006-12-18 07:53:48 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hes right on
2006-12-18 07:44:23 · answer #10 · answered by STEVE J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋