If a active duty service member separates from his wife does he have to pay spousal support?

Question

My friend married a guy (active duty air force 9 yrs) in the summer of 2000. They have no children together but she has a child from a previous relationship. She has no idea where he is? and the town she is in now had no military support. I know he is collecting bah with dependents and has been for yrs and at some point was collecting cola for being stationed in England as well as being stationed in the sand box and all the extra pay that comes along with that so far she has not seen a dime of any of it and it has been well over 5 yrs

There were no legal separation papers ever drawn up...they were married six months when she found out about the other woman..she simply left him moving back to her homestate...this was Jan 01..he was sent to korea...she saw him twice since then (once while going back to retrieve personal items from their apt and another time when he came to her homestate to further discuss divorce) They talked 2 more times on the phone he told her was going to England and gave her a check for $300 and this was 2 1/2 yrs ago and that is last she ever heard from him. She is able to prove that she was a resident of her homestate since she received her master degree since then and was recently contacted by someone from CID since she was encouraged to write a letter to her congressmen. Since 2001 besides the $ 300 she has received nothing and he has been collecting all sorts of pay that he should have not been. This is a development in the situation that I have come across today.

yes she is enrolled in deeres and has a "expired" id which really doesn't make a difference since it is not a military town...and she is enrolled in tri-care
The simple fact is he was not truthful and has been since 2001 collecting pay that should have been stopped since they were no longer together or given to her, He had a other women in they apt they shared when his wife was out of town for her Grandmothers funeral and was quite clear that he was to have his cake and eat it too and this is why she left him. He is a e-7 with 14 yrs of service I wonder what is going to happen to him?

Answer 1

Here's the deal: The Air Force REQUIRES all members, officer or enlisted, to provide "reasonable support" for their spouses and children. The problem is there's no clear definition of "reasonable support." In her case, however, since she has received nothing and he is receiving the BAH with dependent rate, he's going to be in a heap of trouble when the right people find out (assuming that they're still married but separated).

This lady-friend of yours needs to make an appointment with the legal office at her nearest Air Force installation. They'll be able to find out where the deadbeat husband is, and as long as she can prove that they were and are still married she has a case. The legal office should be able to contact the legal office at the husband's base, find out what unit he's assigned to, and find out the name and address of his commander. After that, it's up to your friend to write his commander and explain the situation. The big thing here is she has to be able to prove that she is entitled to support, so she MUST be able to show that they were and are married and that she hasn't received any money from him during their separation.

Good luck!

Answer 2

Get ready to take it up the bum. In America, the judicial system sides with the woman mostly, unless you can prove she is an unfit mother, drug user, or otherwise puts the children's health at risk. I would advise you to take the high road, and try to get it over as soon as possible, no matter who is right and who is wrong. Divorce makes everyone involved feel like they are being ripped in half, and the sooner you get it over, the sooner your children can start to adjust to their new way of life... And I know it's hard, but try to watch what is said when the kids are within earshot. They are very fragile right now, and they will remember little things that you might not give a 2nd thought to tomorrow. Even after the divorce is over, you will still be a family, of sorts, and someday, you might actually be friends with your ex... ( I wouldn't have believed it either) Good luck to you and your family... It must be especially hard for the kids to be going through this during the holidays.

Answer 3

She doesn't know where he is? That sounds a bit strange to me....I spent my career in the Air Force and have heard all these stories before from wives, ex-wifes, etc.... It gets complicated...but I'm sure there is more to this sotry than what's being told here....If he is still collecting BAH at dependent rate, then there could be some fraud issues that the Air Force would be interested in if he is really not providing support for her.....but your friend sounds like she's a little bit to blame if she just "doesn't know where he is"....

If he is still in the Air Force, she can contact the HQ's AFPC at Randolph AFB in Texas and she can get some assistance to locate him.

Answer 4

The Air Force can't order a service member to pay spousal or child support, but will punish him if a judge orders him to do so and he doesn't. It sounds like your friend needs to file for divorce. There are legal ways to do it even if she has no idea where he is.

Based on the short time they were together and the length of time since "she left" I would be surprised if the judge would grant her any support money.

Answer 5

The military really has nothing to do with that. It's your civilian courts that decide what she gets. Seeing as they have not been married for very long and have no children together, she probably is not entitled to much. I don't see why she wants any thing from him if they don't have any children together. This guy may meet some one new and actually have kids of his own that he needs to support instead of an ex wife.

Answer 6

Are they separated or divorced? During a legal separation he is still required to provide for his family. But under regulations the only monetary support he has to give is the housing allowance, that portion is to provide a dwelling for the dependents. If they re divorced then if there is clause providing for alimony then all she has to do is get a copy of the divorce with the decree for alimony to his command. She might need a court order for garnishment of wages also.

Answer 7

Not quite sure what is going on!! I would suggest that she go to the closest welfare office for a start for advice. After that go to the nearest Veteran's Counselor and seek advice there..The V.A. has a web site, she might find some help there.She has let this go to long.If she is entitled to some assistance she should have gone after it when she first divorced..If he did not notify the government that he was divorced he is in trouble if he is still collecting for a family he no longer has!! Don't allow this to go on any longer..If this guy is stiffing the government he is also screwing me out of my tax money...Good luck. I just had to EDIT. I misread your notes. They are not divorced, hell go after him via any Armed Forces Legal office.

Answer 8

He is bound to provide for his family, especially since he is collecting BAH/COLA - even if separated. If there is a legal separation document that shows an agreement where is not responsible, then that may be a different story. If he's not providing, she needs to report this to military authorities. If none are available, she can go to her U.S. congressman or Senator.

Answer 9

Zombiefighter is referring to the Uniformed Services Former Spouse Protection Act.

She has to be married to him for 10 years to qualify for that AND he has to have been in for 10 years. Doesn't sound like either requirement is met.

Answer 10

Are they LEGALLY separated? Does she have a military spouse ID? Are she and the kid in the DEERS database? Is she getting health care (TriCare) coverage for herself and the kid?