No love loss.....?

Question

My boyfriend has a 13 year old daughter and there's no love loss between them. His daughter only calls around her birthday and Christmas. She was forced to call him for his birthday and on father's day. He calls her and tries to talk to her and she just blows him off if she answers her phone at all. Forget about her returning a call. When he calls her he'll ask her why she can't or doesn't call him and she always says I don't know. I encourage him to continue calling her so she can never say that he didn't try am I wrong for having him do this? Should he just give up like he's said he's going and wants to do. He's said over and over that he's not getting her anything for her birthday or Christmas, her mother can get it out of the child support money. I told him he should buy her something, should he? Her mother and her family has told her that she's white even though she's half black and half white but my boyfriend is so light he looks white. Do you think she's ashamed of him?

Answer 1

I have a similar situation in my family right now!! My cousin is married to my brothers Ex-wife and his children continuously keep calling my cousin DaD when their real Dad is my Brother. Funny thing is that my bro has been in their lives always and they are all over 18yrs old. but anyway, They too only call my Bro when christmas or their birthdays come around. I think you should continue to encourage him to call her but I also think 13 is old enough to know better! She should be taught a lesson on the gift thing because she needs to know her father is more than just some Birthday fairy or santa Clause and that she should call him everyday even if it's just to say Hello

Answer 2

My daughter's father always thought that she was supposed to move toward him first but I had to let him know that a child is not responsible for the parents' happiness. However the parent is responsible for making the child feel important, loved, secure and so on. He should buy her the presents and be the bigger person. He is the adult, right. She doesn't owe her dad anything and it probably has absolutely nothing to do with being mixed. My daughter is mixed but she isn't ashamed of any of her black family. She's just pulling unfair punches maybe because she doesn't like what happened or is mad at him for whatever perceived little infraction she might feel he committed. They are both at fault.

Answer 3

no, i dont think she is ashamed of him~ perhaps she is going through her teenage phase or just simply not a people/family person, look i have a 15y/o daughter, we are originally from N.Y.C, we now live in N.C & we've been living here for the past 10yrs. & her father & his family as well as majority of our family are still in the City, well he calls her ,especially on "special occasions", she is very distant & she fails 2 return any of his calls & like ya' step daughter, has to be made to call him on birthdays & holidays~ No she isnt ashamed of her dad & she doesnt hate him, she is a typical teenage girl & either they love you to death or they dont wanna be bothered, but never the less, ITS STILL LOVE THERE!!! tell him dont give up on her, please b/c she without a doubt needs him & more that likely always will (ya'know??), when all else fails daddy is there to hold & comfort his lil girl~~~My dad used to always tell me that & its a quote i still use frequently~~ good luck & best wishes~ plzzz encourage your husband to stay in contact with his daughter no matter how distant she "seems", & yes, by all means~ get her a gift!!! happy holidays!!!!!

Answer 4

i think she is. even though she is ashamed tell your boyfriend to keep trying as a dad, because one day she is going to regret it good luck.

Answer 5

He should still get her something for Christmas.