I have a tendency to choose men that mistreat me as partners.......?

Question

I have dated nice men But I always feel compelled to stay with the ones that are abusive. Why do I do this?

Answer 1

The guys you date probably have something about them that needs to be fixed, and you feel like you can fix this... Well.... SWEETS.... ya cant. They are damaged goods, and you cant fix everyone. If you are feeling like this, maybe you should switch to an occupation where you can FIX people, such as psychology or nurse, or a doctor, Rn, radiation Therapist. I am KIND OF the same way... I feel good when I've helped, but I would NEVER EVER date someone that NEEDED me to help them. To me, Independence and the ability to take care of yourself are a huge turn on. I dont need to be someones momma, and the guys who need that much care are usually abusive and not worth my time. Good luck

Answer 2

That's an easy trap to fall into, and it may take some time to figure out. At least you're aware of it and that's a good start. Otherwise, I have no easy answers. It could be a reflection as to how you feel about yourself and what you feel you deserve. I'd suggest a therapist to help you examine the reasons why you choose abusive partners. There's also self development books you could read to help you figure out how to break the cycle. Good Luck

Answer 3

Lack of self esteem, you feel you don't deserve someone good, you don't love yourself, you're looking in the wrong places(bars, clubs) your looking to hard and taking the first one that says hi, you think you can change them.... take your choice. You attract what you project. Abusive men have one hell of a radar when it comes to women with low self esteem or are lonely. Take time out for yourself, find out who you are what you want and why you deserve,(and you do) the best there is. This takes time but once you love yourself, you'll attract men who are strong and secure with themselves and know how to treat a good woman right. Don't think you can change someone by being with them. Abuse isn't learned overnight, and sometimes can be deadly.
If it is drama you crave... join a theatrical troop or local play house.
Good luck

Answer 4

Maybe u confuse jealousy and control with the guys loving u. Maybe it's an attention thing and u feel like u get more of it wen someone is mean or abuisive to u. Only u can determine why. Wheter or not u stop is up to u also. I'll tell u this, it's not good nor is it cute so u need to stop with those type of guys. If they do these things to u than they dont really like u anyway.

Answer 5

As one of the "nice men," I can say that we collectively ponder this question a great deal and I believe that there is no answer for it. Nice guys for some reason seem to finish last. Many girls are psychologically addicted to the abuse they receive from jerks.

Answer 6

Because you have low self esteem honey. Some women become bored with nice men because they like the drama of being treated badly which is quite strange but true.

Answer 7

i don't know why you stay with abusive men but i would suggest that you be a little more selective in the men you choose

Answer 8

Why do you think? Were you abused as a child by your father? You must feel that you don't deserve happiness so you are drawn to these losers. Be good to yourself you deserve it. Find someone you can talk to about this.

Answer 9

How about you stop choosing, and let them choose you sometimes. Sometimes our radar is sooo off that we need to just turn it off! Let a guy approach you, usually only the nice ones will, the assholes think they're too good

Answer 10

Either:
A. You find men at a bar at 1:00AM
B. You do drugs.
C. You are white trash
D. You aren't very selective with men.