23 yr old daughter come back home after being married 3 years to someone you hate?My parents told me not to marry my hubby and we dont really talk much.They kept paying the rest of my college tuition as a wedding present till i graduated but we rarley saw each other after that.I called to tell them i am flying home for christmas and they seemed happy how can i ask them if i can stay?
2006-12-18 06:43:06 · 16 answers · asked by Adelina R 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Reason for the divorce is he has temper issues shoving me and last time he slapped me across the face giving me a bloody nose.My husband also cheated on me once.I would prefer not to mention this to my parents.
2006-12-18 06:49:48 · update #1
My husband emptied our joint account where most of my money went and canceled our credit cards.I have no clothing its still in the house or property.So i have nothing i cant even afford a lawyer and i feel embarassed.
2006-12-18 06:56:54 · update #2
Your best option is to tell them the truth and have a plan for the next stage of your life.
Let them know that you had to follow your heart in choosing to marry your husband against their suggestion. It didn't end up working out but you have grown as a person having lived through the situation. You would like to get a fresh start and it would be much easier with their help. I would then lay out the direction that you would like to go with your life and how living with them for a while would help you. I would have some timeline ready of when you think that you can accomplish some of the goals.
I am sure that their disapproval of your Husband will not affect their love for you, and if they were concerned enough to let you know how they felt, they will likely be willing to help you get started on a new path.
2006-12-18 06:58:45 · answer #1 · answered by Jacy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I absolutely would let her come back. My home will always always always be a safe haven for my children, if they're 3, 23 or 43.
However, because she's an adult, once she was settled and the crisis was over, we'd have to come to a clear understanding about how long she'd be staying and what her next steps would be. I am delighted to be safe harbor but not a crutch, because as an adult it would be important for her to take care of herself as soon as she was able. But in the meantime, if it took her a few months to find a job or get things settled, she'd be more than welcome.
If your parents sound happy to see you, that's a great sign. Just find a calm moment to explain your situation as soon as possible, and I bet they'll invite you to stay. You may have to ask, but this is a dire need so I'm sure it'll be okay.
2006-12-18 07:04:08 · answer #2 · answered by KC 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Fly home. Tell your parents you made a mistake and can you stay? That will make their Xmas!
PS: Any guy who slaps around a woman does not deserve any woman's love or respect. He has the problem - not you. Whatever you do, don't ever go back to him. Even if he says so, he has not changed. He will just be lonely and feeling sorry for himself. That will pass if you get back together and it will all start again. Whatever you feel now, there is life after divorce.
2006-12-18 07:36:47 · answer #3 · answered by Draper T 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As a parent, I could never not love my children. If they ever wronged me, I would still love them, If they ever left or married without approval, I would still love them the same. Parents can be stubborn, and seem mean at times, but most are just too proud to show their love when the child did wrong. How else do they know to teach you a lesson about life. Go home and ask for a hug or better yet, hug them. If they seem upset or are still unwilling to forgive talk to them about your decision even though it's been done. Include them at least a little. I pray that your parents love you even more for being the grown up one and coming to them. They know it's a big pill to swallow.
2006-12-18 06:49:39 · answer #4 · answered by suncitysarah2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would. However it would depend on how you wanted to participate in the household, for example - I am sure you don't have a lot of money to help with bills so If I were you, I'd work my tail off cleaning, cooking, yard work, anything to make your stay with your parents beneficial to them other then just having their daughter back home. Most of all be respectful, tell them you made a mistake, and want their help fixing it.
Don't be to hard on yourself. Props to you for not making children with this piece of sh**. Everyone slips ups from time to time. The meaning of life is not to live mistake free, but how you handle your mistakes. Do you learn and move on? or do repeat them? I think living back with your parents is a great choice for now. Get your life on track, figure out what you want to do and GO DO IT!!
Best Wishes
2006-12-18 19:58:29 · answer #5 · answered by outdoor man 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a big step being able to get away from an abusive person. I think your parents will be glad you are home. You may not want to tell them but my guess they already know. They don't like him for some reason and I bet they saw things that you didn't. But we all make mistakes and the best decision you have made is going home. Your family loves you unconditionally.
2006-12-18 07:10:04 · answer #6 · answered by holliemay 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is no easy way to ask your parents to accept you again at home. As parents we love our children regardless of the mistakes or choices they make. My parents took my sister twice and though it was a tough decision for my sister to make, it wasn't tough on my parents. I will give you the same advice I gave her. Talk with them and be 100% honest, but be prepared for them to set down some rules on you too. Also expect to share some of the house bills as you are no longer a child, your an adult. They will be understanding and sympathetic towards you, but don't take advantage of their love for you. You may want to do it before Christmas or after, don't wait until Christmas day, but remember that honesty is the best way to anything. I wish you the very best of luck.
2006-12-18 06:52:42 · answer #7 · answered by rp12801280 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
HI,
Sure I would. My feelings towards him or anyone my daughter or son is involved with has nothing to do with the fact that I am a mother first, and I will always support my children no matter the situations they may come across. I would never turn my back on my kids.
Talk to your mother about your situation, no-matter if she tells you "I told you so".
Good Luck.
2006-12-18 06:53:20 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
in your case....they better! its for your safety! if they dont they aren't very good parents. i moved back home after 4.5yrs of marriage. no abuse but other stuff, my mom let me and we just worked out an agreement as in what i would contribute to the household expenses and such. it worked out perfectly! just dont make them feel like you will take advantage of them or the situation.
also, make sure if you stay that you are COMPLETELY done with you hubby....if you come home and then go back to him...that's a huge slap in the face to them...and well just makes you look dumb for goin back to him..should you ever need their help again they may not be there if you do that.
2006-12-18 06:58:28 · answer #9 · answered by Get_R_Done_n_Dallas 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes ask. Tell your parents the truth and ask. If I were a parent, I'd be so relieved that my child was out of a bad situation that I would do whatever is necessary to get them back on their feet. It will also help to repair the relationship you have with your parents.
2006-12-18 06:50:35 · answer #10 · answered by Meesh 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋