Carlos the ice-cream man's van is parked at the side of the road. Lights flashing, music playing, a big queue of excited kids stretches down the street. But no sign of Carlos.
A policeman walking down the road wonders what is going on. Where is Carlos? Why is he not dishing out the ice-cream?
He goes over to the van and peers over the high counter. On the floor he spots Carlos, Lying very still covered in chocolate sauce, strawberry sauce, nuts, hundreds and thousands and those little jelly bits.
"Get back kids," he shouts. Moving away so the bemused kids cannot overhear him he gets on the radio to the station.
"Sargent - you'd get a team down here quick," he stutters, "It's Carlos the ice-cream man......He's topped himself!"
2006-12-18 06:35:37 · 44 answers · asked by Kizzy_ 5 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
its funny if you turn im on
but if you dont
its still funny
2006-12-18 06:42:49 · answer #1 · answered by ploppy pants 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert. After they got their tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep. Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says,
"Kemo Sabe, look towards sky, what you see?"
The Lone Ranger replies, "I see millions of stars."
"What that tell you?" asked Tonto.
The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says, "Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning. Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What's it tell you, Tonto?"
Tonto is silent for a moment, then says, "Kemo Sabe, you dumber then buffalo ****. Someone has stolen tent."
2006-12-18 06:54:16 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Suicide Attempt?
A blonde walked into a doctor's office with a hole in her hand.
The doctor told her that he had to report all gunshot wounds,
and this was an obvious gunshot wound, so would she please explain
how it happened?
The blonde said, "Well, to be honest with you, I was trying to commit
suicide, so first I stuck the gun in my mouth, but thought, wait a
minute, I just had all that bridge work done, and I don't want to ruin
it. So, I pointed the gun between my eyes, and then thought, wait a minute,
I just got a nose job not too long ago, and I don't want to ruin it!
Then I pointed the gun at my heart, and thought, wait a minute, I just
had these boobs done, and I don't want to ruin them! So then I stuck
the gun in my ear, and thought, wait a minute, this is going to be loud.... !"
2006-12-18 10:09:11 · answer #3 · answered by Anna 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't get it...the ice cream man wants the kids to lick the toppings off him?
not funny
2006-12-18 06:40:32 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your opening the crackers a bit soon eh ?
2006-12-18 06:47:21 · answer #5 · answered by Shredder 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont give up the day job just yet lol
2006-12-18 06:37:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
very good,mainly cos no asterix or blanks to fill in
2006-12-18 09:51:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can he make me a banana split?
2006-12-18 06:53:43 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That didn't by any chance happen on a Sunday, did it?
2006-12-18 06:41:47 · answer #9 · answered by scrubbag 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think this joke needs to be "topped".
2006-12-18 06:40:09 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋