There was this construction worker on the 3rd floor of this unfinished building. He needed a hand saw, but was too lazy to go down and get it himself, so he tried to call his fellow worker on the ground to get it for him, but this guy could not hear a word he said.
So he started to give a sign so the guy on the ground could understand him. First he pointed at his eyes (meaning "I") then pointed at his knees (meaning "need), and moved his hand back and forth describing the movement of a hand saw.
Finally, the guy on the ground started nodding his head like he understood and dropped his pants and started to jerk off.
The guy on the 3rd floor got pissed-off and ran down to the ground and started yelling at this guy, "You idiot, I was trying to tell you I needed a hand saw."
The other guy replied, "I know, I was trying to tell you that I was coming."
2006-12-18 06:31:59 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Lol....Very funny....Altho its probably true Knowing Builders...
2006-12-18 06:35:05 · answer #1 · answered by Simon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is an actual job application that a 75 year
old senior citizen submitted to Wal-Mart in Arkansas.
They hired him because he was so funny.
NAME: George Martin
SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right
woman (or at least, one who'll cooperate).
DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice
President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I
was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying
here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock
options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If
that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management
hostility.
PREVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I'm worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible
collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p. m. Monday,Tuesday,
and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but
they're better suited to a more intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had
one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD
PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 lbs.?: Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate
question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR
RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the
Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, so they tell
me.
DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job - no, on my breaks - no.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?:
Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb
sexy blonde supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest
thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be
doing that now.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND
COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Oh yes, absolutely.
SIGN HERE: Sagittarius
2006-12-18 06:39:26 · answer #2 · answered by Deli Ozy 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
it wasnt halarious just something to smile at
2006-12-18 06:34:29 · answer #3 · answered by sweet pea 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋