What do I need to do to become the guardian of my mom?

Question

My mom is 60 years old, but refuses to take proper care of herself. Any advice out there?

Answer 1

It is, indeed, difficult to assume guardianship of another person. She would need to have a proper work-up by a physician (usually a neurologist or psychiatrist who specializes in either forensics, geriatrics, or both). This is needed because in order for a judge to grant guardianship to another person (and take away her Constitutional rights under both the National and state constitutions) he or she must find by clear and convincing evidence (a stronger burden then a preponderance of the evidence) that your mother is a danger to herself or others. She may make decisions which you and most other people do not understand or disagree with, but unless it can clearly be shown that these decisions are being made out of an inability to care for herself, there is little you can do. I understand the enormous frustration things like this can cause. I am going through a similar situation with my mother, and although I have two brothers, they are too busy to get involved so I am left to deal with my mother's declining health by myself. Nevertheless, I know she would never be declared incompetent by a judge, and I wouldn't want to put her through such an ordeal in court without knowing that 1) it was my last resort and 2) I was going to be successful. Otherwise, making the attempt to obtain guardianship can lead to estrangement and cause you to have even less influence over your mother then you do now. The bottom line is there is no easy answer, but you are not alone. Seek the advice of 1) her (or a) physician who specializes in geriatrics (preferably a neurologist or psychiatrist); 2) an attorney specilizing in elder-care; and 3) support groups for people going through the same things you (and thousands of others) are experiencing. Good luck.

Answer 2

You sure don't give much detail. What is "proper care" of herself? What--she smokes? Drinks? Won't go to the doctor? I mean, give us a bone, here.

Answer 3

You need to find an elder law attorney. Guardianships can be expensive and tricky. Try naela.org for a referral.

Answer 4

My guess is that if she is of sound mind then there's nothing you can do. Consult an attorney that has experience in elder law or estate planning.

Answer 5

take care of ur mom as she did u when u where a kid/child.oppoint or hire a person who iss capable of lookin ur mom when u are away.

Answer 6

If she is strong enough then you have noting to worry about,but,if not then you better do something about it,and do it fast.

Answer 7

is she sane? if shes in good shape mentally you cant do anything

Answer 8

yeah hre some advice : she is her own person..let her mak her pwn desions... i think if sh eneeds help she would've asked ..just back off...................