for how they treated him. How can I get over this and not judge? I know parents are not perfect,but one thing in particular he told me was just heartbreaking. He shared these deeply personal things with me and said above all he wanted me to support him and I want to,but I just feel uneasy about his parents now.
2006-12-18 05:52:07 · 6 answers · asked by consigliere 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I guess his parents did the best they could within their limitations. Think or ask about their childhood. Maybe they just didn't have the tools to be good parents. Maybe they weren't loved and so didn't know how to love. It's ok to judge their horrible behavior! But if your fiance wants a relationship with them, you have to keep your feelings to yourself (or shared only with your fiance, if he can handle them). Follow his lead as to how to interact with them.
2006-12-18 05:57:56 · answer #1 · answered by Savvy Sue 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here's an idea ....find out if he's telling you the truth. Obviously he isn't over it yet and then there are those who prey on person's emotions....they love to stir things up...like to get people fighting over them.
The next time he talks to you like that you might want to tell him that if he is going to talk about something that he feels occurred in the past the other party must be present.....or else change the subject. Get rid of the excess baggage before tying the not :)
Shouldn't he be talking to his parents?
2006-12-18 14:32:48 · answer #2 · answered by GoodQuestion 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well what you need to do is be supportive of him. Resenting his parents for ill treating him is only natural. But for his sake do not make an issue of it. Just be polite and civil if the need arises but do not harp on it.
There are serious issues with my fiance's family and myself sp his father for those same reasons. A few weeks ago he went to Miami and brought back stuff for his brothers and father. I went ballistic!!! I did not mind for his daughter and mother but for the rest I was pissed.
He only understood after because we took a loan to finance his trip and although his father and brothers are all employed they gave nothing. Three pairs of jeans and my reation costed them a 3500.00 dining room set he was going to buy them for Christmas.
Sooner or later he is going to realise where his priorities lie, just be patient. A saying in my country says 'give someone enough rope and they will hang themselves.'
2006-12-18 13:58:55 · answer #3 · answered by stacy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to live with his parents. Can you live with him?
Marriage is a very important step in life. You may need to forgo the big wedding with all the family there. You may always feel uneasy toward his parents and he may not wish to be close to them. It is a horrible thing not to honor and respect your parents.
This is one of God's commandments.
2006-12-18 13:59:07 · answer #4 · answered by Jeancommunicates 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
only thing i can tell you is to bear it still try to be real nice i gonna be hard bit you tongue and smile
2006-12-18 14:23:44 · answer #5 · answered by Summer G 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you dont have to be all in their face all the time. your marrying him so that should be your focus, not how messed up his parents were to him in the past.
2006-12-18 13:56:19 · answer #6 · answered by Bri 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋