Nannies or Creche (all opinions welcome)?

Question

The time has come for me to go back to work after maternity leave. My little boy was born prematurely at 24 weeks gestation and spent the first five months in hospital the last seven months he has spent with me as his sole carer. I take him to a kiddie music class once a week and visit his grandparents often.

We are now torn as to what type of childcare we should go for, a creche which is near my work or a nanny who will look after him at his own home.

My little boy's only problem with being born prematurely is having a bad chest and as I don't drive, I don't relish dragging him onto a bus at 7am but my husband fears that he may be isolated with a nanny rather than a creche, he is also worried about the horror stories you read about.

I'd love some thoughts and opinions from everyone.

Thanks in advance for your help

Margaret

tartanbeastie - How long do you suggest I stay at home with him, till he goes to school, or perhaps he should be home schooled just to ensure that he knows I wanted him?

It's hard enough for working mother's nowadays without people making them feel bad about providing for their children. I suppose you think I should stay at home and live off benefits, or do you have problems with that too, what I suppose is the best answer is that I should have been born to wealthy parents so that I could have a baby?

I choose to work to provide my baby with a good home, good food and a comfortable lifestyle. Perhaps I should just ask my poor husband to take on a second job and stay at home or is he supposed to stay at home too?

Excocet - I hadn't even thought of asking the dr's opinion, I think that may be a big help as I might be overworrying about his chest problems. Thanks for the advice

Thanks to all for your informative and thoughtful answers.

Tartanbeastie : I kied your answer much better when you explained your rationale, the first answer just looked like an insult. Unfortunately I cannot afford not to work part time at the very least. we had planned on saving up so that I could have at least 2 years with my little boy and we did so before and while I was pregnant. Unfortunately my little boy came early and due to their being no special care beds near us, we were moved miles away and our savings were then used up over the next five months going to see him in hospital. We did plan ahead but sometimes the best laid plans..... etc

I would much rather stay at home, but please try and remember not everyone has a choice.

Thanks for taking the time to answer everyone.

Answer 1

As a nanny, I'd say that the benefits of having a nanny who's sole responsiblitiy is your child make it the obvious choice. Your options are much more open with a nanny as opposed to daycare. As far as isolation - the kids I watch are FAR from isolated - we have playdates all the time and they love getting to go to see their friends. I can't just say that the horror stories don't exist, because they do ... but they are the minortiy. You'll hear all of the horror stories to make you not want to do it - but what you don't hear about are the nannies that really do a good job. You can require that your nanny take him places or do various things with him - although, most will do that automatically. If you're really concerned - ask his grandparents to drop by and just see how things are going (and of course see their precious grandson). You need to do what's right for you - but I think that you'd be far more happy with a nanny than daycare.

Oh - another thing, who will take time off when your little boy is sick with something he got at daycare, but can't go back yet. That is the main reason that my employers took their children out of daycare - they didn't get to do fun vacations anymore ... all of their sick days were used staying home with sick kids. Feel free to contact me with any other questions.

Hope this helps.

One more thing .... do NOT get a nannycam or the equivlent - you will not find many nannies who will work with one. If it is found out - you'll be seen as not trusting the person you left your child with - and word gets around. Take the time to find the right nanny if you're going to have one. You don't get to put nanny cam's at daycare centers - you are expected to trust the person you choose. Offer your nanny the same respect.

Answer 2

Personally staying at home with your child is preferable but some people have no choice but to go back to work! - I read some research a while back that children who stay at home with their mums are more secure! I can't remember where I saw it - sorry!

I used to be a nanny - fully trained with 2 diplomas and a first aid certificate :)! I think that having a nanny or a child minder is much better for a child than a nursery/day care centre because they will have more individual attention and if you have a good nanny or childminder your child will have more opportunity to be part of a family! Nurseries are impersonal and don't necessarily have the best staff - I saw in a supplement with The Nursery World a feeding device where babies don't have to be held to be fed - I thought it awful - I can't go into depth about studies done on giving your baby hugs etc! but they are there and a child who is held and nurtured make better adults!

IF you decide on a nanny then follow up on all the references and if it is possible try and do a police check - you will have to pay but it's worth it! I know experience accounts for a lot but I think qualifications are also good as a nanny/nursery nurse course will go into child development in depth and also covers things like cooking and hygeine! Make sure the nanny interacts with your baby at her interview! I can understand your worries about having a nanny! In my 41/2 years of being a nanny there weren't many bad happenings with the girls (they tended to be all female when I was one in the late 80s early 90s)! Another advantage of a nanny is the fact your child will be in a familiar environment! Draw up a contract and make sure your nanny and yourselves abide by it!

If you decide on a childminder it's illegal to go to someone who isn't registered! Registered child minders go through a certain amount of training and should know first aid! These people are checked out by Social Services - they will have police checks and their houses should be suitable for children!

I think now my personal preference would be a child minder or fully qualified nanny if I was looking for childcare!

All the best in choosing someone!

Answer 3

Hi Margaret, I'm a nursery nurse so I feel I can offer advice though appreciate it may not be taken. As you obviously are aware the needs of your child come first. If through having a bad chest causes him to have chest infections, breathing difficulties ie; asthma, coughs regularly then please bear in mind that by going to a creche or nursery you are likely to be called each time your child is ill to take him home to recover. This is naturally what you would want to do but you also incur an expense of fees at most establishments when your child is ill and you also lose wages for time taken off, unless you have a very sympathetic employer.
Having a nanny sounds like a good option if you can afford it. Try to get interviews with recommended nannies, check their references vigorously.
Nannies tend to be more flexible about times and are able to take your child to many baby clubs ie; baby gym, music clubs. Look in your local library or health centre for clubs you like the sound of and get your nanny to take your child there for interaction with other children.
A good nanny will put your childs interest first to provide appropriate care, stimulation and reassurance for yourself.
There is no need to think your child will lack the interaction of other children if your nanny goes to appropriate clubs, she will meet other nannies too and swap ideas that may benefit your child.
I hope some of this has been beneficial advice to you.
Good luck

Answer 4

I would recommend a nanny until the age of about three, especially with a bad chest as the first year at creche children are very prone to picking up all the colds and flu going around, but after 3 they need to be around other children to help them learn to socialise with there own age. The only problem with a nanny is that it can take some time to find the right one.

Watch your child's reaction to the nanny when they are first introduced, they know who they like and don't like and seem to instinctively know the good ones, but also listen to your gut reaction.

Hope that helps.

Answer 5

Depending on the severity of his chest problems, I would consider a nanny until he reaches the age of two. I have found that little one's who are in their home environment usually become more confident as they are secure! I am sure you can find a reputable agency, which will help you. Creche's are filled with other little ones, and your little one will definately be exposed to germs etc! With a nanny, his routine as it is at the moment could continue, and he can get used to the idea of you not being there during the day! Security is a definate pro for a happy and healthy child! Horror stories can be told about creches too!! I personally would go for the nanny option ... at least for starters!

Answer 6

Will you be working full time?

I think any combination of being at home and a creche is the best for the child.

I have twins and they are in preschool for 3 mornings a week and the rest of the time at home either with me or with the babysitter.

We chose this childcare arrangement as we felt it gave the children the best combination of learning, social education, exercise and variety.

They love going to 'school' and have a whole social world there, but they are also really glad to be at home and do things with me and their other carers. They get to have a variety of input from different people, and it seems to work well for all of us.

Answer 7

If it was me i would put my son in2 a crech, it's good for young kids to be around wee ones their own age. It will make the transition from nursery to school alot easier for you and your little boy. I have a 2 year old son and I'm putting him in2 a creche after the new year. He loves being with other kids and he's stuck in the house all day with me!
Creches are trained to deal with stuff like kids having breathing problems, allergies and other ailments, plus you may feel more comfortable with him nearer your work rather than being further away at home in the unlikely case that you have to be phoned to go and get him.

you should also talk to your paediatrition/ doctor/healh visitor if you have any concerns, i'm sure they would be more than happy to answer any questions you will have.
you should also visit the creche, they would also be happy to answer any quetions you have

Answer 8

I was a stay at home mum for a while, when I went back to work I put my little boy into a nursery/creche. He absolutely loves it, he has made friends and can play whenever he wants to. They have learning goals and allsorts. I think nannies are a great kind of childcare but I wouldn't go back to anything else now. Nurserys, in my opinion are the best kind of childcare, they do get one to one attention too and it prepares them for when they go to school because believe me, it soon happens.

Answer 9

Go for the Nanny if you can afford one.
She will not be subject to the PC control exerted on many nurseries by local authority inspectors. The one to one relationship should provide quality feedback and also enable you to control your son's diet.
If the lack of peer company is perceived as problem, consider having Nanny look after one of your friends' children as well on some days.

If you husband has seen too many Nanny horror films, install listening devices or even clandestine CCT. The equipment is cheap nowadays and would give you peace of mind.

Answer 10

I think a Nanny would be a good idea, at least he will be in his own home, in his own routine, surrounded by his own things. He will be also be able to have a one to one with someone without having to compete with loads of other children. The Nanny could always take him to mother and toddler groups where he can mix with other children and maybe she will no of other nannies and he can mix with those children. I dont think there is anything wrong with you going back to work as its obvious u love him very much and just want to do whats best for him and your family. Good luck and enjoy your Christmas with him