last moments with cancer?

Question

My Granny was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer Oct 06 and she I think is in her last moments of life. She cannot get out of bed, hospice is with her 24/7, she can barely speak except for light wispers and one can hardly tell what she is saying. She hasn't eaten anything in over a week except 3 spoonfulls of tomato soup she drinks less than 2 cups of liquid a day, she is lucid one moment and not the next. Can anyone give me a timeframe for her death, maybe, since I haven't been through anyone dying like this since I was a child and cannot remember. I know no one can give me an exact date, but approx. how many days does she have? I live 4 hours away from her and see her twice a week as it is. She is my beloved Granny and I love her, she is in very little pain, thank goodness. Thanks for your help!!

Answer 1

I hope this can give you some insight into what is going on with your beloved Granny and in this way maybe you can "see" if she is near the end of her time on this earth.
Please understand this is what I know and have observed for my own self and with terminal illnesses.
When a person is near the end of their life, there are many changes that are actually happening within their body. The person may appear to be sleeping, in a coma, or even listless but in fact the body is hard at work.
No one can "tell" or know for sure when the actual time of death will occur as that can only be determined by when the body and spirit are ready. I use the term "spirit" for all faiths as some believe there is a "life force" that dwells within. Now, around 4-3 months before the passing, some people want to "get their affairs" in order. Most do not associate this with their passing, it is just something they feel they must do. A lot of energy is spent on thinking, planning and implementing this. They do not want to leave things "undone." This is much akin to when a women is near the time of birthing a child as they go through a "nesting" time. Cleaning their home, getting everything ready for the birth and so on and so on. So, some people after they feel they have gotten everything in order, then they can rest. Usually at this time they have accepted their passing and actually find they can enjoy the good company of family and friends. As the time progresses there are other changes that come about with the actual body. You might notice a person tires more easily, they might become more irritable, and also have bursts of energy. Some people mistake the bursts of energy as "they are getting better" but this is not usually the case. It is just that the physical body has stored enoughtof energy from previous rest times that it can be used without tiring them. Around two weeks before a person passes on, the physical body and spirit 'body" are going through a lot of changes. They person might seem as if they are sleeping more, not eating, and without much memory. The reason is that the body is helping the spirit to prepare for their passing. It is hard work and at this time, the physical body needs all the energy to help to do this. A person will spend more and more time in their "spirit" place, also preparing for their passing into that world. The body at this time does not need a lot of food and to speak uses a lot of the energy that is need in preparing for their passing. As for being in pain, of course drugs help with this if there is any pain. Of this I am not sure if there is actually any pain as somewhere in the depths of a person's soul there would not be a physical body to be hurting. Now some people will get a burst of energy a few days before passing on, this my mother did two days before she passed on. It caused my father much grief as he felt she was going to "get better." This is just something that can sometimes happen and I truly feel it is a time for the person to say their "good-bys" to loved ones. My mother was very lucid, speaking and happy. She could not get out of bed but hugged all of us and told us that she would be alright. She was so worried about all of us and I promised her and assured her that we would be fine. This helped her get over her "guilt" feelings of "leaving" us. The next day she went into what I have heard called a "death coma." She could not eat, did not open her eyes and seemed unaware of anything happening around her. I stayed with her and talked to her just as if we were at home enjoying each other's company. The hearing is the last "sense" that leaves a person and so I wanted her to know I was with her. On the second day after her final "burst of energy", I knew that I had to leave and I whispered in her ear and told her it was "okay" for her to go, that I would take care of "Daddy" and for her to look for me to join her one day. The nurse in the room told me that my mother couldn't hear me but then a single tear appeared from the corner of her eye. I watched this single tear as it slowly slid down my mother's cheek and knew in my heart that she did hear me. I was holding her hand and felt her ever so slightly squeeze mine. The nurse seen the tear and said she had never seen that happen. I kissed my mother "good-by" and left. My sister came to stay with her as I had been there for three days and nights and needed to take care of Daddy. It was two hours later that my mother passed away.
I hope this can give to you something to help. Living four hours away it will be hard for you to try to be with her but maybe watch and see if she gets her "burst of energy." At this time tell her everything that you want her to know, your love for her and let her know that it is okay.
When I was having a really hard time coping with my mother's upcoming death, she told me something and I shall pass this on to you. I was crying and so sad and she asked me what was wrong. I told her that I just did not know how I could live without her, without seeing her, without hearing her and most important without her hugs. She told me, "When you need to see me, just look around at all the trees, animals and things on this good green earth and that is me! If you need to hear me, listen for the sounds of the birds and the whisper of the leaves in the wind and that is me talking to you! And if you need a hug from me, go outside and embrace a gentle breeze as that will be me! I will always be here with you." So, just when you feel so lonely and miss your Granny, just listen, open your eyes and embrace a gentle breeze and she will be there with you.

Answer 2

I'm sorry to hear that. I went through this 3 years go with my father who also had pancreatic cancer. It's sad. But I'd say about 2 weeks. My dad who was 48, went into coma 3 days before his death. And for the last 12 days of his life he couldn't really walk, couldn't really speak, wasn't eating nor was he drinking fluids so we checked him into a palliative care facility. He was on alot of painkillers like morphine and duragesic so he couldn't really feel the pain he had endured so many months. I can only tell you to spend lots of time right now while your Granny is still awake (conscious).

Answer 3

Don't try to rely on timelines. I was diagnosed with leukemia at age five, and told I wouldn't live to see my sixth birthday. Here I am, fifteen years old, and very much alive. I have been in remission for almost four years now. Every deadline they gave me, I kicked its butt. I should have died like eight times by now, but the timelines were wrong. I'll die when it's time for me to die, not when some professional says it is. Same for your grandmother.

Don't look for a timeframe. Just spend as much time as possible with her; that way there will be no regrets.

I will pray for you and her, and I hope my story helps in some way.

Answer 4

My dad died recently of cancer, and he went very fast after he stopped eating. I also live 4 hours from him, and thankfully was able to get out of work for the last month of his life. When I think about his last moments I am really glad I could be there. He died surrounded by his family at home, just the way he wanted it. I thought of this time as the last gift I could give him, but now I think it was the other way around. I was holding his hand when he passed, and can't imagine not being there in those final moments. My heart goes out to you and your family. I hope you will be able to spend as much time as possible with your granny, it will give you peace of mind knowing you did all you could.

Answer 5

No one can give u a timeline. There is no way to tell. She will go when it is time for her to do so. I'm sorry for u, but at least she is not in alot of pain.

Answer 6

my mother died in oct from lung cancer, she got hospice on a monday and she died the following sunday. the friday before she seemed to be ok one minute and like your grandmother talking crazy the next. hospice can give you a timeline, when they talked to us on that saturday they told us she was actively dying and she died in her sleep on sunday. im glad to hear she is not in any pain, best of wishes to you

Answer 7

My professional opinion (RN) says one week, two at the most, but that last week she will be unconscious....Go be with her, even if you have to take a leave of absence from work...........

Answer 8

Hi, so sori to hear that. Hang in there. If you need someone to chat with, sent me a text. ;-)

Answer 9

my aunt had colon cancer and they gave her a timeline and she last even less than what they told her.