okay friends with benefits?

Question

okay sooo me and this guy just recently started having sex.....no attatchement....but im starting to feel one and i dont know what to do....honestly i didnt think i would start to fall for that type of guy hes not my typical relationship or anything looks or personality wise...do i end the friends with benefits relationship and pursue a real relatiohship do i just keep doing what im doing or do i end the relatioship all together this is always on my mind pleasae help!!!

Answer 1

I am a 35 year old who used to do this friends with benefits thing. That is a good way to end up with someone you will be miserable with the rest of your life. The other problem is that it is just a nice way for you and the other party to use eachother for physical pleasure. The problem lies in the fact that sex and marraige have been exclusive to one another for a reason, it is natural. We naturally have a desire to pair up with another and stay with that person and have 'benefits' with that person exclusively. Anything out of that context makes us unhappy.

My vote is that you hold yourself to a higher standard than that. Look for a person that you can be friends with and do not have sex with that person. If you like the person for who they are, without having the sexual relationship to alter your feelings, than you have a friend for life, and that is what you need for true happiness. When you waste your time and energy having those BS friend benefits, you loose out on real people that you could be happy with, and you put yourself through emotional termoil with the exact problem you are talking about in your question.

I know there will be plenty of thumbs down for me on this, but I hope you really think about it. Having sex with someone affects the rest of your life, condoms do not prevent all STD's, pregnancy may happen, and even if you do all to prevent it, the only 100% method is abstinence, and even if you have an abortion, you will never forget. Protect your future, respect yourself and do not allow guys to disrespect you.

Answer 2

to have friends w/benefits you have to be really mature although alot of young immature people do it, you have to realize what it is and if your interested in having a real relationship go ahead look for it usually elsewhere though, if you want just keep doing what your doing and then meet people and date on the side until you find something worth being faithful to and then cut the fling off. If you can handle it theres nothing wrong with two people coming to an understanding and fullfilling there needs if understood. Also the one of the reasons this is an issue for you is well i'm guessing your younger and just experiencing this sorta for the first time and well anyways girls when it comes to sex are more into the feelings and love aspect of it and men are into the sex so that why on the girls part it takes a certain level of maturaty (sp) to deal w/it. and sadly it takes a lot of the wrong guys to realize the fairy tail is exactly that a fairy tail usually, its kinda like once you realize the crapy way life usually is you learn to accept it and then just go for the casual sex because you myaswell (sp) they do and you come to realize the relationships are a headache and few and far between so in the meantime thats what ends up happening. Like I have one guy that I have that with inbetween relationships and when either one of us is in a faithful relationship we tell eachother and we both respect it and hold off any calls until the one in a relationships calls and let the other know it ok to call get it, anyways good luck KIM

Answer 3

I would personally have to say that the friends with benefits thing isnt really a situation for girls, because they ususally end up liking the guy that they are doing stuff with or wish something more would come out of it. I would say that if you think he would like to persue more then go for it but if you think he is just doing it for the sex and has commitment issues dont waste your time. If your looking for a relationship get out of that and then persue something that will be beneficial for you and make you happy and not put you in a situation where you are questioning about it:)

Answer 4

Talk to him and see where he stands on it. He may developing feelings for you as well.
If you just plain don't want to make it anything more than a piece of ***; then bail out of it if your afraid of getting hurt.

He may not want a lasting relationship with someone that would screw just to be screwing though. It may be wrong, but guys think it's ok for a guy to do that, but not a woman they want to be married to. Sorry, just the facts.

Answer 5

I personally can never be satisfied with the friends with benefits situation. Find out if he's willing to put more into it, if not then you should just move on before you get more hurt.

Answer 6

I would say end it, even though you started having feelings, I guarantee he hasn't. It will only end up hurting you in the end. That's the bad part about friends with benefits, you can't have feelings or it ruins it.

Answer 7

Well you shouldnt have a friend with benifits because people will think of you and him as a hoe might as well say. You should defently pursue to a further relationship if it fails then just be friends not friends with benifits.

Answer 8

i was in your situations once before. if you feel that you are becoming emotional attached to this guy then i feel you should talk to him about it. see how he feels about it. and maybe he feels the same way. if he doesn't feel the same way then its probablly best to stop having sex with him. because some people can go through the whole friends with benefits thing and not feel anything towards their sex partner. but some people can't. personally i can't do it. its just not me. but if you can't help but to feel something for him and he doesn't feel the same way towards you....its time to end it. because having more sex with him is going to make you feel more attacehed

Answer 9

Where sex is concerned, women tend to follow with the heart.
Talk about it. Maybe he doesn't want a relationship with you and he just wants other then they good time.
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Answer 10

Years ago I had one of those... I had to move on.. Istarted to have feelings for him and that was not our mutual understanding of this relationship.. we did however go back to just being friends.