My mother-in-law is one of those stereotypical (I know not all are actually like this) women who accuses the daughter-in-law of "stealing" her son. Anyway, I've never really felt comfortable with her babysitting our daughter. She always fed our daughter junk food (which is fine, to an extent, but this woman goes WAY overboard). I've seen her feed another grandchild for an after-school snack 2 ice cream sandwiches, then sat her down in front of the TV with a TUB of ice cream and a SERVING SPOON to eat and THEN a family size bag of potato chips to eat until she is done (a 5 yo). Among other things (hours upon hours of TV, playing with glass Christmas ornaments, force-feeding, etc.) this is typical. Anyway, my husband and I found out in June she was using METH. While I am no longer angry with her, I cannot let her watch my child (actually husband's decision, he is a police officer). Is it possible to forgive but not let her have my daughter.
2006-12-18 04:22:10 · 10 answers · asked by Lady in Red 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Forgiving has never meant you are blind. To allow your child with this woman unsupervised could result in consequences that you would regret for the rest of your life. Just because this woman is your husbands mother does not make her a fit grandparent. She is human making mistakes as we all do but with mistakes sometimes come harsh punishments. It is your duty as a parent to protect your child from real and forseeable dangers. I would say this is both.
2006-12-18 04:29:52 · answer #1 · answered by gtahvfaith 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Absolutely. You thank her for any offer to babysit, but you would rather the whole family can be together for visits or you don't need a babysitter (all arranged that she get to be with a friend sort of thing). Babysitting is simply not an option, so don't mention it yourself and change the subject if she does. Just as you don't let the elderly aunt with the shaky hands hold the infant unassisted, you don't allow your child around a bad influence and of questionable abilities to be the sole adult around your child - you are absolutely right. There is no reason for anyone to get angry about it - you will just be present at all time (and ready to jet) whenever your child has occassion to see her grandma. If the grandmother is getting herself in trouble, this will be the least of your worries as it will be a mute point - she will either go to jail or do herself so much harm that she will not even be able to see anyone, let alone one on one with a child. Meth is a very nasty thing.
I am in the same boat in a way. My mother in law feels wronged by me and I do not trust her. I want to be present so that I can counteract things that she does or says that I think are in appropriate around my child. My child has autism symptoms and she seems to think she should have a say in how we handle that. Fortunately for me, the universe kind of stepped in and moved us across the country for a job opportunity - now the problem is gone, really. Hopefully you all will work out a situation that is best for your family.
Peace!
2006-12-18 12:38:29 · answer #2 · answered by carole 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forgiveness is alwayss possibly if you are willing to open your heart to the fact that she has a serious problem.
Not letting her have you daughter is perfectly reasonable. You can alway leave the option open to her visiting the child in either the presence of yourself or your husband if you are comfortable with that.
2006-12-18 12:32:43 · answer #3 · answered by smedrik 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey, try arresting her. Meth is illegal, and if your story is true, then your husband (who knows about his mom's Meth habit) can be fired for not reporting it. And the food thing can be seen as a form of child abuse. Try going legal on her.
2006-12-18 12:29:47 · answer #4 · answered by sister steph 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are not comfortable with her watching your daughter, so trust your instincts and do not let her keep her. Offer no apologies. She is your daughter and your responsibility. Anyone on meth should not be around children.
2006-12-18 12:29:45 · answer #5 · answered by Sunspot Baby 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
in the best interrest of your child the mother-in-law in question should not be allowed to baby sit . . she is feeding the child improperly and the biggest reason she uses drugs . . .do you want to risk your childs life . . you know she is a user and makes poor food choices and you should protect you child from that. I believe it would be a form of abuse to allow unsupervised visits with the mother-in-law.
2006-12-18 12:32:40 · answer #6 · answered by Rainy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Look, I'm sure you are sincere in asking this question, but the NUMBER ONE PRIORITY IS YOUR CHILD!
You should never let a meth addict "take care" of your child. Period. It doesn't matter if they are a relative or not.
2006-12-18 12:29:22 · answer #7 · answered by Samurai Jack 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i agree. she obviously isnt fit to watch a child. i dont blame your husband one bit on not letting her watch your child. i definately wouldnt let her watch mine.
of course it is possible to forgive, but forgiving does not mean giving your trust back. trust is something people have to earn back once they break it or abuse it.
2006-12-18 12:27:26 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
forgiving is possible. it's not all that easy, but it can be done. as for her watching your daughter? hell no. btw, what did your husband do about this? i mean, he is a police officer, right?
2006-12-18 12:28:22 · answer #9 · answered by chris r 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Lots of good answers so far... definitely forgive, and definitely don't let her baby sit!
2006-12-18 12:33:14 · answer #10 · answered by Fire_God_69 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋