why doesnt she let me be kind to her?

Question

I am in love with a girl in my workplace. we have kissed and but we havent gone furthur. I have always been kind and helpfull to her. but she has a certain character to reject help and to react nervous when i try to help her and be kind. I dont know if she is thinking that i want something more in return. I never expect anything in return. is anything wrong with my actions and generally what is wrong with being kind and helpfull to a girl you love?

Answer 1

There is nothing wrong with being kind and helpful, and you are wonderful to be like that. That being said....we are all a product of our past, and perhaps someone in her past treated her that way and then took advantage of her. Talk with her (away from the work environment if possible). She may not believe you at first, just continue on in kindness. Sooner or later she will see that you actually mean what you say.

Answer 2

She may not be use to people helping her. She could be shy or she might be an "independent woman" who doesn't want help from anyone. I think it's one of the first two though because she gets nervous. Sometimes, I do the same thing becaus I just feel weird that a guy would be helpful to me and not expect something. I'm usually the person who tries to help everyone else and when someone decides to help me it just catches me off guard and that makes me nervous because I don't know how to react. So maybe your kindness is just something that is new to her and you'll just have to give her time to warm up to it. There isn't anything wrong with your actions or being kind and helpful to her. She's just not use to it and she may be wondering why you're being so helpful. I'd tell her why you do all the things you do and maybe that will help some.

Answer 3

there are a few possibilities:
1. she has some self-esteem problems and doesn't know how to accept your kindness

2. she doesn't like accepting help from guys based on "girls-are-just-as-capable" anti-sexism beliefs

3. she doesn't like the attention you're giving her at work (maybe she doesn't want coworkers to know)

4. she changed her mind and isn't interested in you (if so, I'm sorry, you sound like a nice guy)

Or

5. you're right and she thinks you're just trying to get her in bed.

In any case, communication is te key. Tell her that it bothers you when she won't let you help her. She may not even realize she's doing it. That's the only way you'll know for sure what's going on and she'll appreciate your honesty.

Answer 4

I think I understand why she's being like that, but don't laugh.
Some people feel the need to surround themselves with people who they know are good candidates for a heartache because in some strange way they like feeling that someone else is in control of them and calling the shots.When someone is nice to me, I tend to lose interest because it feels like that person isn't confident enough about himself to let me fight for him instead of the other way around.
By offering her so much help you might send her the idea that you think she's helpless too and that your needy.
When it comes to girls, guys really can be TOO nice, everyone likes a good chase.Try backing up a bit, you'll see her running your way soon.

Answer 5

Talk to her, she amy be confused because you work together and there may be corporate policy against dating so she is being cautious.