Was I wrong?

Question

this has always bugged me: A few years ago, I got invited to my aunt and uncle's house for Christmas Dinner, along with the rest of my immediate family. When the time for dinner came, my aunt told me that there wasn't enough room for me at the "Adults" table and I'd have to eat downstairs with the kids, the oldest of whom was 14. I was 23 at the time. I was pissed off, but very calmly said that if that was the case, then I was going to go eat at another relatives' house. That started a whole big fight, my aunt and uncle called me selfish, some of the females were crying, it was a whole big scene.In the end, I stayed, becasue someone made room for me at the table.

What bugged me was that my aunt and uncle had invited me seperatly from my family, then treated me like a kid, even thought they have always been sticklers about adults sitting at one table, kids at another. Was I wrong to react the wayI did? Should I have just sucked it up?

Answer 1

Sounds like your family's a bunch of drama queens. They cried over THIS? Wow. No offense but if people are crying over something this minor, you all have some underlying issues that need to resolved and holiday seating arrangements are the least of your problems. They could have easily pulled up a chair somewhere and made room for you at the 'adult' table BEFORE this whole horrible scene occured. It was a one time occurance I'd let bygones be bygones and not waste one more minute being bothered by it.

Answer 2

Dear i was 22 when i got married.. at 23 girl your not a child your an adult... 1 thing i don't understand is that when your uncle and aunt were hosting they knew how many people were coming rite so they should have made the table arrangements way before why did they say that there was no room for you in the last minute?? Why did they invite you separately??
When they asked you to sit on the kids table you should have asked them since you treated me like an adult by inviting me separately than why should i sit with the kids besides just to remind you again i am 23 not 14!!!
What you did was not wrong at all.... you have the full rite to be treated as an adult and its time that the families figure that much out!!
Don't let this bother you at all anymore!! its in the past its over and they got the message as well!!

Answer 3

Part of being an adult is to accept things the way they are, be gracious, and make the best of the situation. It was rude to the hosts to say that you were going to leave. You should have either tried to come up with a solution that did not resort to fighting or go and sit with the kids and later express your dissatifaction when you have been removed from the incident enough to be calm and rational. Your aunt probably did not realize that it would bother you as it did and by later pointing out your feelings, you would have gotten your message across without upsetting the other guests and sitting here thinking about it years later.

I usually side with young adults who feel like they are treated like a child by older people but I'm sorry to say that in this case I think you reacted the wrong way.

Answer 4

If you are just looking for who acted "best," you or your aunt and uncle, then probably you. But from what I can tell, you could have done a lot better yourself. 2 things would have been:

1. You could have suggested right from the beginning that they just make and extra spot at the adult table.
2. (and maybe this is just me trying to avoid fights) Just walk out without saying a word.

The first option is obviously the moral highest ground. The second option, though similar to what you did, saves everyone the headache of an argument, even if your aunt and uncle never invite you over again.

Answer 5

At 23 years of age, you have earned your right to be treated as an adult. I think you reacted to the situation appropriately. A kids table is for kids, at 23, you are not a child. And if your family wants you there, they need to respect your feelings.

Answer 6

this is all about respect, respect that you deserve, and respect they didn't give you, but that was then and this is now, you were and are an adult , so let the feelings of anger go and do not allow them to hold you hostage any longer, all they do is make you miserable, and you are better than that, ,Have a nice Christmas this year not the bad memories

Answer 7

Well it's good to expres your opinion. Families are nuts and are always gonna be in your life no matter what. So just tell them hwo you feel and move past it. Nothing is worth getting that angry about. :) The holidays are supposed to be a great time!