My husband and I just got back from our two week honeymoon a little over three weeks ago. Four days ago we got a phone call from his Ex saying that she is moving 4 states away and doesn't want their son anymore. Before all of this my husband would only see his son every other weekend and if that. I am worried about how the son will adjust to a whole new family and plus losing his mother and half brother within 48 hours who he has lived with his entire life.
Last night he asked where his mommy was and that he wanted to go back to her. He is 4 years old.
I cannot believe she gave up her son for some guy in another state who she has just started talking to for a couple of weeks now. During the divorce she fought and fought to get full custody of the son and now just like that she is giving him away
I was wondering if anyone has ever gone through this and how I should introduce the son this Christmas to my side of the family?
Thank You
2006-12-18 03:57:09 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I feel sorry for the kid poor thing rite before Xmas this has happened in his life!! its nice of you that you want him to feel it at home now... well try talking to him explain him the situation and be calm with him... tell him that this is his family now and you do love him and care of him and want the best for him now that he is part of the family.... try to take him shopping buy him a few stuff.. that way his mind will be a bit more relaxed and he will feel a bit more comfortable with you... do stuff with him like if he likes to play certain games get involved and that way he will realize that your there for him!!
once he gets comfortable with you and starts opening up etc that it will not be difficult intro him to your side of the family cuz that way he knows your there...... if he is not comfortable with you around than it will be a bit difficult for him to be comfortable with your family around...
Your put into a bit difficult situation rite before the holidays as well but try to understand what that poor thing is going thru too... i hope and pray that everything goes well and that you and the child become really close friends!!
2006-12-18 04:44:30 · answer #1 · answered by Pari 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Knowing how to introduce him is the least of your worries. How terrible he must feel being dumped like that. Do all you can to make him feel safe and secure. Don't talk bad about his Mother when he is around. All it's going to do is make him feel insecure and sad. If his Mother dumped him for another man just like that, then I would imagine he wasn't getting the kind of love at home he should of been getting. Do all you can to reassure him he's not going anywhere but with you. Snuggle with him, read to him, talk to him and reassure him he has a nice home with parents that love him and he's safe. Just give him as much love as he'll let you and he should eventually start to feel safe and secure. Try to remember that how you handle this situation will effect him his whole life. Don't waste time pointing any fingers. Just give him all that he needs. He's your son now. let him know how special that makes him.
2006-12-18 04:19:54 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I too am going through similiar issues with step daughter. Her mother is a pathtic piece of crap who also thinks about herself only. It hurts the child. Make the holidays fun, easy and include pictures and stories about his mother. No matter what he will idealize his mother, he has no choice. Yes bring him into your family, the more the better but let him move at his pace, if he gets ancy, acts out, go home. Get her to sign the papers giving him to your husband and if your lucky enough(I am not) you adopt him and have her sign away her parental rights. Kids are usually resilent, if there are issues then see a therapist.
2006-12-18 04:11:38 · answer #3 · answered by draken 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You just tell family that you have a new member!! That poor little boy. Your husband should be in court NOW to get full custody!! Don't let mom take him again, you folks be his family!!! But ya' gotta go through all the right channels. Don't let this little guy be bounced back and fortth!! You two get full custody, and then just love the little guy!!!!
2006-12-18 04:12:16 · answer #4 · answered by mamaexfour 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
he is very young, but I would suggest treating him like he's been a part of the family for years. when I met my step-mom she was really nice, but I didn't feel like I was treated like the rest of her "real" children. My younger sibling felt the same. I wouldn't give him too much special treatment, but I would suggest coming up with some family things you all can do together. You use this to introduce him to the family. He will feel included and eventually he'll get use to all of you as his new family. the only thing I can really say is not to push him to fit in or make him feel too pressured, just because he is so young and it may scare him to meet everyone. good Luck!
2006-12-18 04:07:06 · answer #5 · answered by angelicasongs 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Forget the term "step child." Welcome him into your family as your new child! Tell him that his mother isn't able to take care of him right now and wants him to live with you because she knows you will love him best. Never say anything against her, especially in his hearing. Go back to court with his father and make sure the court awards full custody. If the child feels loved and accepted, he will adjust and thrive!
2006-12-18 04:24:00 · answer #6 · answered by AnnieD 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Show him all the love you can. This poor boy is going through so much right now. Talk to your family members before Christmas and tell them to show this boy plenty of love. He needs it right now. Love him as you'd love your own child.
2006-12-18 10:09:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You and your family: Lots and lots of love and affection. A routine is what he needs most. Kids can adjust pretty well at his age.
At Christmas: Tell EVERY adult who he is prior to getting to any of the events. Make sure everyone is exhuberant and happy to meet him. Gives him a feeling of belonging and safety.
Good luck.
2006-12-18 04:09:54 · answer #8 · answered by donewiththismess 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
that's horrible! what kind of mother is she. first you need to think of away to tell him what his mother did. the lowdown dirty bi*****! for a man who obviously dont want kids or like them. call the court and tell them it is bothering the child psycholically. it's not fair she has to take the child. a child belongs with the mother unless she is unfit.
2006-12-18 04:02:24 · answer #9 · answered by prettysexycalves 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You could start by not REFERRING to the child as a STEP CHILD.
2006-12-18 04:02:44 · answer #10 · answered by Monty L 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋