What is the ettiquite for asking parents to do something about their children who are out of control?

Question

In a public place, where kids should be well behaved and their behavior could bother other people, such as a nice restaurant.

Answer 1

If you know the parents..YOU DON'T. It's very impolite. It's their problem not yours. Unless however they are in your home, then you reserve the right to tell them to sit the @#$% down and chill. You never involve the managers or waitresses in a restaurant for this. If the children are messing with the job they are trying to do, they will most likely say something, but to ask them to do something is a guarantee that the patrons will not come back. Especially if it is a family restaurant. I personally..almost stabbed a young boy in the face with a steak knife because of lack of control from parents, and I still said nothing. If I was to have stabbed him and get in big trouble then I would lash out uncontrollably to these idiotic parents. IT'S NOT OUR PROBLEM, until it becomes personnally our problem. If I was alone with my husband and the kids at the next table were making noise and running around foolishly, I would say something to the waitress, but they still wouldn't do anything. The screaming running kids are not worth losing their clients.

Answer 2

Depends on the behaviour. Were the parents trying to discipline at all or none?
All of my children learned at the restaurant and my grandchildren learned by doing as well.
At first we had to keep a close check on them but after a couple of visits they understood.
Now if the parents were absent with discipline, then you ask the manager if a playroom is available for the exuberant children. If not, then he is obligated to take control of the situation as it can be a danger to the children as well as the patrons. Earlier a reply was hot food. Could happen easily and then the parents would sue for neglect on part of the restaurant.
There was one incident where a lady successfully sued a furniture store because a child had ran past her, knocked her down and she broke her leg. It was found the store was negligent because they did not try to stop the child from the behaviour. Please note it was the lady's own child that knocked her down. Go figure.
Yes children should behave in certain venues but also it is the responsibility of the parents to teach them.
If you approached the parents directly it could cause confrontation and that should be avoided. If the manager is unwilling, then tell him you are not obligated to pay for your dinner. That works well too.

Answer 3

Ask the waiter/waitress to say something to the parents. I have been in this situation at restaurants before. I have also seen other people inthe same situation and the waitress asked the parents to control the kids or they would hafta leave cause they are disturbing others. It's a shame that the parents dont give a hoot about how their kids behave in public. had my kids done that they wouldnt be able to sit let alone eat. Makes you wonder what goes on at home???Maybe YOU DON"T WANNA KNOW...LOL

Answer 4

Only broach the subject if the misbehaving children are bothering you or interrupting your dining experience. Otherwise, shake your head with a disapproving look and mind your own business. People are completely crazy these days, especially as it pertains to their children.

If their behavior is disturbing your dining experience and you are a paying customer, you should discreetly asked the manager to speak with the party involved, stating specifically what behavior is disrupting your dining experience. The manager should deal with the problem expeditiously and if he does not, then you have recourse to contact the chain's management. It is the establishment's responsibility to provide a enjoyable experience for you and that includes making sure other patrons are not disrupting you. But you cannot police the world's bad children.

Answer 5

This happened to me recently at a store. The person was not paying any attention to the children and they were playing on the floor where the carts are kept. They were screaming and yelling it was definitely out of control. I talked to the manager and let them handle it. I would do the same thing at a restaurant. Just don't address the children directly it should always be handled between adults.

Answer 6

I have never encountered parents who would BELIEVE their children were out of control. So, taking that as a starting point, you needn't bother being nice about it - that would be like trying to cut a tree down with a penknife. In a restaurant, you tell your server you are disturbed by those kids; it's up to the management to deal with unpleasantries in their establishment. If they won't or can't, ask to be moved to another table; if they won't move you, don't pay your bill. Keep in mind that YOU can't approach those people. They will not believe you, will resent your criticism of their perfect children, and may even get their kids to behave worse to punish you.

Answer 7

Talk to the manager and explain the situation. It's his or her job to make sure that his customers are being taken care of. Confronting the parents directly can lead to some very ugly situations, and it's best to let someone in authority handle the problem.

If the manager is reluctant to deal with the problem, you can always "up the ante" by telling him or her that whereas you enjoy the restaurant (or business, etc.) and you'd like to continue patronage, you're not willing to spend your money and not enjoy yourself.

In other words: if they don't do something, you're taking your hard-earned dollars elsewhere. They usually get the hint.

Answer 8

Be direct ... if they're misbehaving, the parents aren't taking care of them anyway. My wife and I were in a restaurant once and two young kids were screaming and carrying on ... completely out of control! They were annoying everybody and mother and her friend were just talking like nothing was going on. At one point, an older man sitting right behind the little monsters stood up, turned to face the mother as yelled ... "Madame, will you please take control of your annoying children?" It was great ... people applauded and the mother paid the check and left immediately!

Answer 9

The owner of the environment in which there is misbehaviour is the one to correct it. If the restaurant refuses to do anything, then it is allowed to continue. When they lose enough business from people who do not want to eat where children misbehave they will get the message they have a responsibility. Voice your concerns to management, not the parents.

Answer 10

At a really nice restaurant I would ask the waiter to get the manager to talk to the patron, stay out of the situation entirely.